


Concepts and Misconceptions

by sketzocase



Category: Fantastic Four, Marvel, Wolverines (Comics), X-Men
Genre: Aliens, Dark moments, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Outer Space, Really dark moments, Sex, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Some Humor, Violence, clear warnings, original nonmarvel aliens, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 73,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketzocase/pseuds/sketzocase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daken and Johnny have the closest thing they can to a normal relationship. Along the way through some self-improvement Daken's pheromone manipulation seems to get just a tad on the side of uncontrollable . Making things go from normal to complicated in the span of a few hours. And when things get complicated... boy do they get complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Food Courts

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you could call this AU. But things from cannon have happened... and some things I make up.  
> I've borrowed an idea from the Anita Blake series and morphed it to fit a more marvel centered approach. 
> 
> Things are gonna go slow at first so bare with me :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading and having patience as I've turned these one shots into something else!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Author's edit**** 
> 
> Trying to get this story up and running again. that means fixing the kinks and making it run a little more smoothly. 
> 
> So, no major changes, but there will be a few. 
> 
> The tone shifts towards the end so the tags have been updated. 
> 
> As always, additional tags for the sexy stuff and violence and what have you will be put up here. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope the updates don't make it too confusing. I'm trying to do it as seamlessly as possible.

Love is such a simple thing to so many.

Something is fun- you love to do it. Something tastes good- you love to eat it. You have a pet that might actually have a hint of intelligence and some small quality that half the population seems to deem ‘cute’- you love the pet. Nice phone- you love it.

Love makes its way into every conversation.

Blind emotion thrown into the world careless as to where it lands.

I used that phrase once in my many years. Once.

Not for an arbitrary reason. Not for some item or thing that brought me great pleasure- no. I used it as I was supposed to. As I’d always thought people were supposed to.

I was young. Maybe sixteen. Seventeen. It was so long ago.

My world was constant pain then. Constant molding. Everything was given new light by the glow of the fury and discontent that was being poured into me.

I wanted to be in love. It can’t hurt you if you love them. If you confess such a strong emotion with such conviction, they have to return it.

Like I said- I was young.

I confessed my love, blood dripping from lips as I struggled to maintain my consciousness.

After all- the beating didn’t stop because you blacked out. You were taken the time you were given- showing the weakness of giving into the pain only prolonged your torment.

Molding. Training- those are what he liked to call it.

It’s a clear memory I have… his hands wet with my blood. My body healing as quickly as the damage was dealt. A lesson. That’s what it was. An important one.

It slipped out. He was over me and I was young and he was my everything. My future. My past. It was all in his shadow. He was shaping my very existence. So much thought and foreplanning were put into the way we interacted…. Everything happened for a purpose. He thought of me. He had to.

I was young.

I thought this to be love.

I thought someone ‘taking care’ of you was a sign of affection.

That someone dominating you meant you were worth something.

When he was pleased I did not starve. I was never homeless. I was never without clothing or money. I was cared for. I was in some way valued. Hence- I was loved.

And I thought- stupidly- that I could tell him this. That I could form into words this gnawing desire for his affection. For him to hold me in a way that so many others had failed to do.

So I did.

That smile… the slightest quirk of lips. Everything looked like a snarl on him. In my first years of knowing him, it was often hard to tell if he was pleased with me or not. He was skillful at sending mixed messages.

Looking back that was part of his deception. Had you done well? Had you done as you were supposed to? Were you still valued?

I was a teenager. I wanted more than anything for him to hold me in some regard of affection.

He pulled his claws from my person, stood over me for a minute, still smirking, and place a bloody hand on my face, tilting my chin up towards him.

It was considered a survival technique to not look at him directly when he was ‘teaching’. To show respect.

We locked eyes for maybe thirty seconds before he jerked my head to the side quickly, cleanly snapping my neck.

I woke in the dirt, trying to sort out what that encounter had meant. I had confessed my feelings for him, did so in a way that he knew what he meant to me… and his reaction was to meet me with pain.

Then I was met with more pain. He came back later that evening… I’d just semi calmed down from our earlier encounter.

He asked if I knew just how heavy those words were.

Stunned- I said nothing.

He said it was a fool who gave into the weak, fleeting, emotions of a human. Of a man. We were above that. We did not feel such things. Such things made us weak.

He offered to teach me more….

And he did.  
He took me to his chambers and showed me that people were incapable of emoting on that level. That it always had a gain. That there was only one thing we could rely on between humans- pain.

Love was not something we talked about. It was not something we felt. Two days he ‘taught’ me on how to be stronger than any such notion.

And through all the pain I still had that thought ringing in my head. That I loved him. That he wasn’t really hurting me… that some part of him loved me too.

At the end of our lesson, he grew tired of me. Threw me to someone else. I had wasted enough of his time.

A few times around with some of his followers, and I didn’t think so much about human emotions. I could not fathom how he could do me in this fashion after all I had confessed to him. After all, I thought I meant to him.

So I decided to lock that away. I didn’t want to feel it anymore. For decades I didn’t utter those words. Not in deceit. Not in defense of manipulations…. I thought about it… but every time it rose on my tongue the memories of what pain it had caused were too great. I couldn’t do it.

“It’s so wonderful,” The girl across the food court is gushing. “The ring. Amy, don’t you love it?” Gushing. I shouldn’t be listening. With my hearing, though, it’s hard to pick and choose what gets heard.

The woman at the table, proudly flashing her left hand around to her friends, is attractive enough. I could see why a man would want to nail her down as a mate. Thin build, nice bone structure- a classic beauty.

A smaller, more petty part that’s been surfacing with increasing regularity as of late, notes that she also has all of her respected pieces. Probably inside and out. She doesn’t run from potential mates from the fear of intimacy. Things must work better for you if you’re whole.

“It’s beautiful. How do you think he could afford it?? Look at that rock!”

Petty things. Love devoted to a flimsy piece of metal. Might as well be devoting to any of the random items about her person.

I can sense that he’s come closer. Of course. His scent- that slight smell of heat that follows him… I wonder if he drove here or flew. I didn’t see him tailing me on the road… but I wouldn’t put it past him to have used a ‘birds eye’ to figure out my location.

“You want one?” he asks from behind me.

“One what.” I don’t even bother asking. It’s more of a statement. I’ve engaged in his surliness enough for one day.

“The ring. You’ve been staring that girl down.”  
“Why would I want a ring?” I sneer.

“I dunno. It’s shiny?” he tries to lighten the mood. “You like shiny things, Daken?”

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“No.”

A hand reaches into my line of vision, moving the tray of cold Indian food from in front of me. “You’re not eating.”

I continue to stare past him.

“You should take a picture.” he continues to goad.

I finally direct my attention to him. He's leaned over the metal grid table, one hand on my bad side balancing and another resting on my shoulder. “You should move that hand,” I growl.

He rubs the shoulder he’s touching. It’s my bad one and he knows I don’t like it when it’s touched. “You’re tense.”

“Maybe you’re just bothering me.”

Johnny chuckles. “We both know that’s not true. You knew I was following you the second you sat down. If you wanted me to leave- therefore not bothering you- you would have tried to shake me.”

“This is getting tedious.” I pull the plate of food back towards me.

“Why are you eating Indian?”

His randomness is something I find extremely vexing. “…. What?”

He’s still behind me, and whenever he leans forward it’s exclusively on my bad side. “Indian food. You hate Indian food.”

“I do not.”

Johnny chuckles again, easily removing the plastic fork from my hand and scooping up some of the… god, I don’t even remember what it is. Something god awful I’m sure. He takes the fork to his mouth. “You should have gotten the pizza. It would have tasted better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t take into consideration your habit for randomly inviting yourself along and then eating the food from my plate.” I snap. “Next time I’ll be sure to get something that’s mutually agreeable.”

“So there’s going to be a next time.” He leans over further, his chest pressed more on my back than it was before.

“Not if you keep touching me.”

“I’m not touching you.” I can almost feel his smile.

“Johnny-“

“I’m not.” He persists. “I’m… brushing against you.” He takes another bite. “Honestly, you should have gotten something else. Why would you pay for something you hate?”

“It was the only place that didn’t put my back to the door,” I growl.

“Ah.” He continues leaning over me to eat. “In that case would you like for me to go and get you something else?” He offers.

“No, I don’t want you to get me anything else. I’m fine.”

His heart skips a beat. “Look-“

“If you bring it up again I swear I will end you.”

He hums a little in a sound of annoyance. “Daken, we need to talk about this.”

“No, we don’t.” I would stand up, but he’s pinning me down. “I said everything I wanted to say. That’s why I left. That’s how conversations go, Johnny.”

He groans a little. “Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m here to say I’m sorry! Why do you have to make this so hard?”

“I’m sorry that I’m being too ‘difficult’ for you. Maybe you’d prefer going back to your nice little home and being with one of your lovely, full bodied-“

“She was a secretary!” he laughs. “What is wrong with you? You’ve never been jealous of anything I do! A few months ago it would have taken me setting half the city on fire to get your attention.” he stops. “I’m not complaining that you’re showing more interest, don’t get me wrong. But if we’re going to fight every time I come into contact with some pretty girl-“

“So you think she’s ‘pretty’,” I growl.

Johnny rubs my shoulder with his hand. “Yes, I do.”

“I think we’re done here.” I start to shrug him off.

“What- now you want me to tell you you’re prettier than her?” He lets go of me and walks around the table to my good side, taking my hand in his and bending down to my level. “You’re very attractive. I thought we’d covered this already. I like being with you. I want to continue to be with you. I’ve done nothing wrong in admitting she was attractive.”

I refuse to answer his sentiment with words.

“Daken.”

He can talk to himself for all I care.

“Daken!” he snaps.

I pull away and remove myself from the table.

The crowds in the mall are thinning, it being past lunch time now. I don’t know where I’m going. I’ll probably find the nearest exit and-

“Where are you going?” He’s behind me again. He doesn’t take a hint.

“Away from you!” I growl. “I’m trying to make this really obvious, Johnny. Either you’re dumber than I thought you were or you’re suffering from a mental breakdown that’s telling you that continuing to pester me is in your best interest.”

I spot a door. But it’s one of the extremely heavy ones. One would probably need the benefit of having two hands to open it.

“Because I said the secretary was pretty or because I tried to-“

“I don’t need your help!” This comes out loud. Even over the noise of the mall. I can see people starting to stare. “I don’t need your pity! I don’t need you! Leave me alone!”

The door… it won’t open. I pull at it uselessly, feeling his eyes on me.

“Here-“

“Go away!”

He leans into my space again, putting his hand over mine on the handle. “You’re mad,” he clears his throat, “Because I redid some of the appliances and fixtures in your apartment so that they would be easier accessible for you and tried to talk to you about a prosthetic. Not because you saw me talking to the secretary.” he says this gently. “If you’re going to be angry at me, be honest as to why you’re angry. It makes fights easier.”

“I don’t need your help,” I growl, though right now I’m experiencing one of those emotions that I don’t usually focus on. Not dealing with them for so long puts me at a loss as to how to properly handle them when they arise.

“You couldn’t use anything in your apartment.” He continues. “Ignoring the problem will not make it go away.”

“How about I make you go away?”

“Go ahead and try.” he chuckles.

“Leave me alone.” This comes out as a whine.

That hand moves up my arm and to my shoulder, prompting me to turn and face him. “Let me help you.” He says with a gentleness people don’t usually reserve for me. “Please.”

Help me. He wants to help me.? No one has ever wanted to help me! Years on years on years and no one has even tried! How can he expect me to believe that?

“Why? Why are you doing this? Why have you invaded my space…” he grins a little.

“I have a key to your place remember?”

No. He invaded my space. That’s what he’s done. “… And gone through my things-“

“Key?”

“And then flirted with that bitch in front of me-“

“She was bringing me coffee.” he continues to rebuff my attacks against him.

“… And followed me halfway across the city to upset me more than I already am and then trap me against some fucking door-” I turn back around and yank of the handle again. Finally giving up and slamming fist against the glass. “Why are you trying to be so involved with me??” I yell at him. “No one else on earth in the entire HISTORY of my life has ever been like this to me. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable and I wish you would at least tell me why you’re doing it!”

 

The same hand from before turns me again so I’m not screaming at a door. He’s got a look of contentment on his face. Like this is something normal for him. “That one should be obvious.”

I find it hard to look at him for some reason. “Well, it’s not.” He continues to look at me with that odd look. “Not to me, anyway.”

He chuckles. “Okay I’m here because; one, you keyed my car in the parking lot.”

“I di-“

“I saw you.” He continues to grin. “Besides, not a lot of people are walking around with claws in their hands.”

Fine.

“Two,” He holds up two fingers, “I wasn’t done talking to you.”

“You’ve talked to me,” I say pointedly. “Why are you still here?”

He puts the counting hand to my face. “Come on Daken, that’s the most obvious one of all.”

“Johnny-“

“You don’t do this relationship thing a lot- do you?” he asks gently.

“I’ve had countless lovers.” I rebuff.

“Yes, lovers. Not boyfriends. Not girlfriends. Lovers.”

I’m not sure what answer he’s looking for here, so I go back to being silent. “Relationships, actual relationships, are about more than sex. Lovers usually only constitute sex. Get it? What we have is not just being lovers.”

“Don’t do this.” I try to reason with him. He can’t go here with me. I can’t go here period! He doesn’t know the ramifications of this depth of emotional involvement!

“Look… I know next to nothing about your past.” Johnny’s voice is still so soft. “But it’s clear that you’ve been majorly fucked up by someone.” he holds up a hand to shush my oncoming retort. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m not going to push. I just wanted you to know that it’s pretty obvious.”

“You can’t understand what I’m trying to-“

“Daken, I love you- okay? You drive me absolutely up the wall, you break my things, you make me fly across the city after you- and I love you. Let me do that.”

And there it is. That stupid word. That shining beacon of stupid, useless, emotions that humans seem to think are-

“I don’t know how.”

… is not what I meant to say. I won’t get sucked into this. I won’t allow him to drag me into this weak pathetic-

“I don’t really think anyone does,” he says softly. “I think it’s one of those ‘learn to do it as you go’ things.”

There’s a long stretch of silence. He’s not asking me to proclaim love for him. He’s not demanding that he continue to be the object of my desires… he doesn’t want to use me. I have absolutely nothing to give him. Why would he do this? What does he hope to gain?

“Fine.”

“Good.” He leans forward and kisses me gently. “Let me take you home.”

… “Alright.”

He nods. “Where did you park?”

That brings me to why I was watching the door… other than the fact that I thought Johnny was following me. “I borrowed one of yours.”

He sighs. “Of course you did.” There’s a laugh as he puts an arm around my waist and starts leading us towards the other exit.

… “I wrecked it parking.”

Another sigh. “Figured that was coming.”

“It was the charger.”

“The…” he groans and stops walking. “I just paid that one off! The engine was perfect! IT took weeks to build!”

He stares at me for further explanation, I think.

“I… haven’t really learned how to park yet.”

He nods and his face softens. “You talk to the other driver?”

We’re walking again. “Not exactly.”

“Daken…” he groans.

“The other driver was a tree. And a curb. I think I popped a tire as well.”

Johnny looks up towards the ceiling. “Of course you did.”

There’s more silence. His arm is still around me. We’re still walking… but he’s angry. Why?

“So do you still ‘love’ me?”

He looks over at me, shaking his head and grinning again. “Daken… you’ve got a lot to learn about this.”

He drops the matter of the car. Calls his insurance, calls a cab…. And has nothing harsh to say to me. Not a single word.

It’s eerie. Odd. Uncomfortable.

… kind of pleasant?

Pleasant is a way to describe it. I don’t know what that word is supposed to feel like… but for the moment, ‘pleasant’ will do.


	2. Toy Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M'kay so smut ahead.  
> Kinda mentions a dom/sub kinda thing... but it's not the usual one. Oh and use of toys. Some people put that as a warning? I dunno why, but there ya go.  
> But yea. Sex. Cussin'. All that stuff that they warn you about in school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a big fan of a vampire hunter series "The Anita Blake" series. Or I was until they turned the main character into a giant slut for the sake of selling copies.... but that's neither here nor there.  
> Anywho, there's a vamp in there who kinda does a thing similar to Daken's pheromones. In my head I like to think that if he got to a certain level he could pull off some of her shenanigans. So ya. I'm messing with that a little bit. 
> 
> Like mentioned in the summary. Sex ahead. Not all that healthy sex, either.  
> And the chapters are going to switch between cute and fluffy to smut. So keep reading the summaries! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

The perks of dating someone who can naturally tap into pheromones are amazing.

Read that as- the sex is amazing.

I know a lot of couples kinda start with the talking and cuddling and deep emotional shit before the sex… but that just isn’t how we work. Our little relationship was an extended fling that begrudgingly became something that one could describe as a positive and caring relationship.

The scene is always the following….

The TV is on and I’m watching something he hates. Because it’s something I love.  
And he looks at me from his book if he can stand to read one on that particular day. Reed encourages him to, but it’s a strain on his vision. This will be fixed after the ‘adjustment period’ everyone seems so sure he’s going to snap out of.

Anyway, he looks at me until I can feel him looking at me and suggests that I drop what I’m doing and come join him.

Me being me, I usually initially turn him down. I.E. I really love me some TV.

So time goes by and I start to get a little hot. A little bit of arousal- nothing much.

It’s him of course.

I remind him that I am very much into my show and that using pheromones to get his way is cheating.

 

So he stops.

A few minutes later, he tries to get my attention again. He makes noise or something- does something too loud for the situation.

I ask if he’d like to go somewhere else and do that. And he says no. Because this is how the game goes.

A few minutes after that, it gets a little hotter. I start to get just a little more excited than before.

And I ask him to wait until after the show.

To a normal person, that would mean victory. They would be happy, wait until the show was over, and enjoy their reward.

For the thousandth time, I am reminded that Daken… is not a normal person.  
My ‘excitement’ mounts to uncomfortable levels in a matter of minutes.

It’s like sports, sports, burger commercial- oh hello raging erection that has come out of nowhere.

And then he chuckles. Asks if something’s wrong.

I’m stubborn. I say nothing and continue watching my show- which by now I’ve lost track of.

So he starts to pester me about the show. Questions that he knows I don’t know the answer to. Pick, pick, pick. Constantly.

I counter this by thinking of the most unappealing thing I can. Sometimes this works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Today, it doesn’t.

“What kind of car is that?” He asks innocently.

“I don’t know.” I grit. Because I am very hard, and it is very hard to focus. I want to nail him to the chair and give him just what he wants.

But of course- that’s what he wants. And Daken can’t get what he wants all the time. It gives me no ground to stand on.

“I do.” he teases.

“Good for you.”

“You know…” He drawls.

“I’ve got fifteen minutes left.”

Daken pouts from across the room. He’s lounged in one of the massive chairs in his apartment. Over by the even more massive bookshelf.

He’s made this is ‘home’ home now. No hide outs. No secret apartments. Here. With me.

So all of his belongings are here, naturally. And it’s… nice. It's nice to get to see the things he likes to surround himself with.

“They buy the car.” He says snidely.

“I don’t care if you spoil the ending, Daken.” I sigh. “I’m watching the show.”

“You can watch it during…” he offers. Another wave of arousal hits me… almost making me come dry. And I don’t like that.

“Daken, stop.”

Because he’s not completely heartless where I’m concerned, he does stop.

In fact, he’s blissfully quiet.

“I’m bored.”

...For three minutes.

“Don’t you have any… ya know. ‘Toys’? I’m busy. Go take care of it yourself.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Johnny…”

“Daken.”

“I can make you feel good.” He prompts.

“This isn't about me feeling good.” I chuckle. “This is about you being bored and wanting something to do.” I spare him a look… and I wish I hadn’t. He looks quite attractive in a ‘I’m not trying to seduce you but I really am’ kind of motif. “I’m giving you my full support if you want to go and handle things. Use the laptop. Whatever.”

“Are you trying to politely tell me to go fuck myself?”

… “In not so many words.”

He snorts. “Fine.”

“Fine.” Fine? NO not fine. It’s never ‘fine’. He didn’t get his way. The spoiled brat that is my lover didn’t get his way and he’s letting it go? No.

He goes into his room and shuts the door.

Things are quiet for a while and I go back to watching my show.

And yes he was right. The couple on the screen does buy the car.

Things are so nice and quiet that I settle in for another episode.

I’m about twenty minutes in when I start to get all ‘excited’ again. Which he usually doesn’t do when he’s not in the room with me.

A moan comes from the other room.

I know he doesn’t have the laptop turned up that loud. That would be damaging to the speakers.

And another.

And things are getting hotter and hotter… god.

Pleasure is rushing through my veins and thoughts.

Coiling in the pit of my stomach…. God. I find my hand slipping down my shorts before I realize what I’m doing.

No. No.

Because if I do this- it means he wins. And this isn’t a “Daken wins’ day. This is a ‘Johnny wins’ day. So by sheer will power, I pull my hand up and away from my person and glue my eyes to the screen.

Things go white hot for a second and it’s hard to breathe.

Running a hand over my forehead I realize that I’m covered in sweat.

Whatever he’s doing, he’s taking me along for the ride without me getting to actively participate.

So if I come does that mean he won? I mean I didn’t fuck him. That means I win.

But if he fucks himself and then brings me as well…

“Daken?” I try to sound not in the least bit bothered by his actions.

There’s a pause, the feeling lessens. “Yes?” It’s muffled and slightly hoarse.

“Whatcha doin?”

“What you told me to.” He tries to sound innocent. I know better.

“Yea, I can hear that. You wanna stop sharing?”

There’s a small laugh. “I don’t know what you mean darling.”

I look over my shoulder as if I could see him through the door. “You know what I mean, dear. Stop sharing.”

Another laugh. “You know I’m having a hard time controlling it.” This is breathy, and it’s just before another wave hits me.

Convenient. Though true- his powers have been getting a little ‘stronger’ lately, they seem to ‘misbehave’ when it’s convenient for him.

Or when we’re in public.

God, you’ve never lived until you walk out from a quickie in the bathroom stall to find three other couples doing the same….

Three couples composed of complete strangers- by the by. Hadn’t met until they came into the bathroom and got caught up in his little power flux.

All looking at each other in awe and need. Trying to explain their actions whilst they’re doing them.

“Can you try a little harder?” I have to swallow back a moan.

“I can’t hear you…” He doesn’t bother.

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

“Bullshit! Knock it off!”

He doesn’t reply… and he certainly isn’t knocking it off.

“Daken, I’m not coming in there.”

“No, you’re coming out there.”

Ah. Now he’s trying to be cute.

“Knock it off.” I warn.

“I can’t hear you!”

Fine. Fine. Barely seeing through the cloud of lust he’s dragged me into, I march over to his door and…

It’s locked.

“What game are you playing??” I cry through the door.

“No game.”

“Bullshit.” I sneer. “Open the door!”

“I want to be alone.”

“Open.” I shake the handle so hard the door rattles. “The.” Another shake. “DOOR!”

“Can’t.” He says hoarsely.

“Can’t- or won’t?”

“Can’t stop.”

Uh… Daken has had a habit of his powers backfiring on himself lately. I don’t know how it works. He was doing it to go to sleep. Sedating himself, as it were. Now if he uses too much…

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.” I try.

“God.” He moans.

“Daken… open the door!” My knees are shaking and all I feel is this intense… need. Gnawing at me.

“Break it.” He groans.

“I’m not breaking down the door! This is ridiculous. Just stop- and open the door.”

“Can’t.”

Fine. Fine!

I melt the handle and walk in on him. He’s… it’s … god. He’s got an assortment of items that I can only imagine the purpose of. A particularly interesting one in use at the moment, making a low humming sound that is slightly more erotic than it should be. His hands wrapped around his dick, and he looks highly amused at my presence.

I’m on the bed in a flash.

His skin his beaded with sweat nicely. Everything toned and… god.

“When did you get these?” I ask in bewilderment as I’m moving aside an assortment of toys.

“Don’t know.” He says simply.

“What do you like… buy in bulk? God. You…”

“I like sex.”

“I can see that.” Another wave hits me and I’m on top of him, pinning him to the bed. “I should hold you down and make you stay like this. You love an audience- don’t you? I bet it would take you at least an hour when we both know I could get you there within the next ten minutes. Maybe I should just leave you to it?” I threaten, teasingly of course.

He shakes his head. “You won’t.”

“IF only the cuffs weren’t back at my place.” I bury my face in his neck, drag my tongue down it, suckle at his collar bone- all the things he loves.

“Johnny…” he groans.

“Not done yet.” I feel like I have the control here. “You’ve been in here having all the fun. I’m not as ready as you are.”

That doesn’t seem to register. He continues to jerk himself whilst watching me. He puts on a good show- I’ll give him that.

“Just-“

“Nuh-uh.” I grab his wrist in my hand and pin it above his head, taking my other hand and pinning his hip to the mattress. “You wanted me to watch you- didn’t you? That’s why you brought me in here.”

“Hey!” He growls.

“I’m sorry, is that not enough contact for you?” I tease, moving my hips just slightly so his erection grazes my jeans when he tries to buck me off of him. “Let’s see… oh.” I reach down and remove the electronic device from him. It’s… quite frightening actually. But then… I’ve actually yet to let him- ya know. Baby steps and all that. “I think that’s enough of that.”

Some of the pressure in my dick lessens as the stimulation stops.

“Johnny!”

“Shh.” I love it when I get to be the bad guy. This is the only time in my life I get to play the ‘villain’. Of course- this is how our game goes. Both of us know that he can call it at anytime. But… he doesn’t. “Now we’re going to talk.” The hand holding his hip makes a small massaging motion. “You need to stop interrupting me when I’m doing shit.”

“Alright.”

“Really?” The hand travels downwards towards his almost painfully hard looking dick.

“Yes!”

“Hmm.” I jerk my hand back up a centimeter before it touches him and put it back on his hip. “Good to know.”

“Johnny… god. Please.”

“Nah… it’s not time for begging yet, dear. That comes later.”

I trail my fingers over his hip bone, pressing some weight in between his legs, forcing them wider. He eagerly complies with the last part.

“You’re making this too easy, babe.” I chuckle, tapping the outside of his right thigh. “You look so desperate.”

“Fuck me.” He orders.

I smile a little cruelly. “No.”

His expression falters.“… please?”

“You’re bad at this part of the game- do you know that?” I kiss his neck again. “What Am I going to do with you? Always so… disruptive.”

“Just fuck me.” He groans.

“Oh… all of this build up and you’re not going to let me have any of my fun?” I cluck my tongue. “Come on baby. Be a good sport.”

“What do you want?” His breathing has evened out but he’s no less hard.

“How about… you suck me off a little bit while I figure it out.”

… “Alright.”

“Good.” I kiss his neck again before releasing him and starting to undress. “On your knees.” I start to order… because for whatever reason, he likes orders. So long as it ends up with an outcome he finds favorable.

In a sense he’s the worlds most aggressive submissive.

“On the floor.”

I’ve dated around a lot… hence my knowledge of how to use a little bit of domination in the bed room. He requires a lot though. A lot more than I’m comfortable with- even. There are nights when he won’t use safe words and I end up calling it for him.

When I’m fully naked, he’s moved down in front of me, not hesitating the slightest before taking me into his mouth.

“Very good.” I fist his hair and let him work for a few minutes. “Now let’s see…. projecting your emotions on to me…. liberal use of pheromones…. Locking the door…” I look down at him. “You’ve behaved very poorly today.”

He looks up at me, and I have to reign myself in as his efforts increase. “No, no.” I chide. “Making me come won’t fix it.”

He’s a pro at this. He bobs so smoothly, it kills me to have to pull him off. “Very good.” I repeat, having removed myself from him. “Now… on the bed.”

That he complies more quickly than all my other demands.

“Let’s see… You looked so good when I came in here. Why don’t you go back to that?”

He glares at me, not liking that idea. “You said-“

“I didn’t ‘say’ anything.” I stay in character and give his thigh a small slap. “You’ll get what you want if you do what I say. Like always.”

It takes him a few moments, but he gets himself resituated. “You look good like this.” I praise as he goes back to pleasing himself. I walk over to him and lean in between his legs, watching him with a level of scrutiny that both turns him on and unnerves him. “You like this?” I slap his ass a little, getting a jolt from him.

“..huh?”

“Do you like this?” I repeat, enunciating very clearly while putting a hand on either knee, spreading him a little more widely. “Playing with yourself with me watching.” A shiver runs through him.

“Yes.” he groans.

“Do you really like it?” I lean in and give his dick a swift lick. Just a flick of my tongue. “You like using your toys in front of me? Having me see you twitch and moan when it’s not me doing it.”

“Yes!”

“Good.” He stares at me, waiting. This is end game. I’m as close as he is. “Ride it out.” I instruct. “If you come, we’re done.”

“Johnny, please. End it. I want you.”

“You want me?” I question knowingly. “What do you want me to do sweetness?”

“Fuck me.” He doesn’t even hesitate.

“Ah. You’ve got that covered.” I tap the toy between his legs. “Is it not enough for my little slut?”

He shudders again. “Johnny, I can’t keep going.”

“You’ll have to.” I soothe.

“Please.” The shudders are becoming more constant. “Johnny I can’t.”

I put my hand over his, urging him to move faster. “I bet you’re just dying right now.” I tease. “I bet your little buddy down there is hitting that one sweet spot non-stop. And it’s killing you.”

“Yes.” he groans again. “God yes! Fuck me already!”

“I will.” I promise. “Right after I see that you’re sorry for what you’ve done today.”

“I’m sorry!” he says quickly.

“Ya?” I smooth up his inner thigh. “I bet this would all be over if I sucked you.” I tease. “Would you like that? Instead of fighting it off waiting for me to fuck you?”

He seems to be torn.

“Or maybe you just wanna come right now instead…. Huh? There’s an idea. Come for me. Let me see you.”

“Johnny…” He can’t seem to make sentences anymore.

I laugh a little as another wave of pheromones hits me. “Alright. You’re right. That’s enough torture.”

The feeling grows.

“Knock it off, Daken. I’m going to fuck you.”

It dies down completely “Finally.”

I take away all the stimulation and give him a second to recollect himself before slicking myself up with some of the lube he’s got strewn about the bed. “Well you’ve kinda been a pain in the ass.” I slide in easily after all the teasing that he’s been through.

“Ngh.” He groans. “Got your attention.”

“This always turns into some big deal.” I grouse. Well as much as I can when I’m buried balls deep in him. It’s a happy situation. It’s hard to be all that grumpy.

“Sorry.” He sounds genuinely  sincere. “It’s…”

“How you like it. I know.”

Thank god we’ve moved past him wanting me to hurt him. For the thousandth time I stop to think about who exactly made him this way. Head games, torture, complete submissiveness…. Someone crafted him. Someone engrained these actions into his very being.

“You’ve got that look.” He comments.

I look at him , noticing that he pointedly looks away from me. “Sorry.”

The heat from before is gone. I don’t want to fuck him raw anymore. I want to take care of him. I want to help fix the broken edges.

Feeling the need to impart this on him, I lean down and kiss him deeply.

It doesn’t take long for us to finish. After all that build up, it never does.

This is the game. Well a smaller part of the game. I’m deconstructing it. Pulling out the dark, sharp edgy pieces and leaving the more gentler side of things. Each time we do this, I get to see a smaller piece of him. Each time I get to bring it a little closer to home.

He’s like some stained glass window that someone’s smashed. Beautiful and broken.

“Hey,” I pull out before taking him into my arms, “You know we can do this without all the games- right?”

He nods as I pull him against my chest.

“Anytime you… ya know. Want. Really. Not pushing it.”

He’s silent. He usually is after we’re done.

It actually took me a while to realize why the random black outs happen after we do this.

He’s waiting for me to leave. He wants me to fuck him up and then leave him.

“I’m not..”

“I know. But when you are…”

He buries his face more into my chest.

Things like this don’t need words. He knows. I know. And we’re good.


	3. Pinocchio

Three days have passed since Johnny and I's little 'car show rendezvous'. I hardly noticed their passing. 

Time in general passes by a little slowly as of late. Actually being up to ‘nothing’ is a first for me. There’s always been some plan in play. Some move I was making.

Now it’s just… not there. I don’t want to do it. I don’t have the drive.

Laura suggested that this was part of the ‘depression’ she seems to have everyone convinced that I’ve gone into.

Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not spending much time dwelling on it.

When dwelling on it, I start to dwell on my powers. 

The 'instability' I've managed to pass of this enormous growth that's been happening. 

I'm starting to suspect why, of course. 

But that would mean dwelling on  _him._ And it's not time to dwell on him. 

Sure, all this free time has led my mind to roam. 

And sure, my mind roaming is the absolute worst thing that could be happening right now- but I still wouldn't trade it for anything. 

The apartment is too cold for this time in the morning. I’d get up and turn the air down, but that would mean getting out of bed. And after some rambunctious activity last night, I’ve ended up dead in the middle of said bed. Which is large. And it’s… a little hard to get out.

Theoretically, I could call Johnny and convince him to come see me… he’d probably end up in the bed and then it wouldn’t be the awkward situation of me trying to explain that I need help getting out.

Because as far as he’s concerned- I do not now, nor ever, need help.

But… time is marching on. The apartment is just getting colder… I pull the comforter up higher, but it doesn’t do anything.

Plus I’m starting to get hungry. Which again- would require me getting out of the bed.

I must have been in here at least four hours since I woke up.

If I could just find the phone…

Across the bed, on the nightstand, on the other side of the room. Perfect.

I close my eyes… well, ‘eye’ I guess. Despite the cold, it’s easy to start drifting off again.

A few minutes go by and I’m approaching that wonderful sort of sleepiness that I’ve been able to lull myself into over the past few months.

Another plus side of my powers.. .let's call it'surging'. Yes, surging. 

Surging powers mean I can affect my own pheromones. Which means going to sleep is now a nonissue with enough practice.  

The only thing physically tying me to consciousness is the sound of the phone vibrating. But… now I’m actually going to sleep. It’s yet another reason to fuck the phone and let whoever is on the other end wonder as to my whereabouts for a while.

The buzzing stops for a few seconds before starting up again. This goes on for at least three minutes. Stopping, starting, stopping. Buzz, buzz, buzz- like an insect on steroids.

But sleep is better than whatever it is whoever is calling has in mind. So I decide to do that instead.

\-----------------  
Nothing slams me back into consciousness more than the front door handle turning. There' s a distinct clicking and turning as the locking mechanism gives way to the intruder. It sets my nerves on edge. Someone is trying to get in, and I didn’t invite anyone over.

The jiggling stops a second before the door sweeps open.

“Is he even here?” Female voice.

“I think so…” Male.

The door closes behind them.

Sleep still has my mind groggy. What time is it? How long have I been in here?

“Daken?” The male sounds like Johnny. God, I hope it’s Johnny.

“He’s in the room.” The female says- which now that I think of it sounds a lot like Laura.

“Perfect.”

Footsteps come closer- though they’re muffled by the carpeting.

A soft knock on the bedroom door is issued before it starts to open.

“There you are.” He smiles. Johnny’s dressed for something. Button up shirt, black jeans, nice shoes- where has he been? “Have you been in bed all day?”

“What are you doing here?”

That came off snappy. I didn't mean for it too, but that's what he gets for barging into my apartment. 

He walks into the room, looking around for a second before going to where my phone is charging. “Ya know, there’s no point in charging it if you’re not going to answer.”

“It’s too far away.”

He looks at me oddly. “It’s right here, Daken. All you had to do was-“ he stops and glances at me. “Daken can you get out that bed on your own?”

I glare at him. “What kind of question is that?”

“One that needs answering.”

“I’m not dignifying that with a response.” I snap. 

Johnny unplugs my phone and walks more towards the bed. “When you’re where you are now, ya know in the middle- can you get out?”

“Of course I can!” I snap again.

He doesn't need to know I need help.   
  
His poor cripple of a boyfriend. Can't get out of bed on his own. 

Let's all point and laugh at how the mighty have fallen. 

HA. HA. HA. 

“I mean the closest side is on your bad side…. You’d have to reach over yourself to pull yourself up…. and I know you’ve got great core strength, but I can see where that would get a little tiring.” He offers a smile. "Do you need help?" 

“I’m fine, Johnny.”

“Is he stuck in bed?” Laura asks casually from the other room. "He does that from time to time." 

Fuck you, Laura. Fuck you. Fuck him. Fuck all of you. Whatever you're here for- you can go. 

“I think so.” Johnny calls back. He walks over and sits on the bed. “You never let me finish adjusting your-“

“I don’t need adjustments,” I growl.

“You could use a smaller mattress… maybe something that makes it easier to get out of on your own. Or in the very last a hand rail.”

“I can get up if I want to!”

“Daken.” He shakes his head, hand resting where mine should have been. “Let me help you get up.”

He offers that hand to my good side, but I refuse to take it.

“I don’t need help.”I snap.

“Take my hand.” He says almost sweetly. "Take my hand and let me help you." 

“I don’t need help!” This comes out as a whine. Not a yell, a whine.

He smiles and grabs my hand, pulling me up smoothly. “You haven’t even gotten dressed.” He says. "Baby, Have you been stuck in bed all day??" 

I actually try to pull against him and lay back down just out of spite. But because he happens to have the ‘upper hand’ by actually having an upper hand, he puts said hand on my back and holds me in place. "Why don't you let me help you get dressed? We'll move faster that way." 

“Jo-“

“Let me help you.” He repeats with a smile.

“I can dress myself.” I feel cold and hot at the same time. Embarrassed. That’s this feeling. I’m flushed with it.

“I know you can. But this would go faster if I helped you.”

“I don’t like it when you do this.” I try to go for honest here. He’s really making me uncomfortable.

“Hey,” he soothes. “I’m just being helpful. I know it’s little… embarrassing for you-“

“It’s humiliating and I wish you wouldn’t do it.” I hiss. 

He leans in and kisses my cheek. “Come on, get up. Get dressed.” He offers a smile. "I won't help. I'm sorry if I 'humiliated' you." 

He's... being a good guy again. 

Damn him.   
  
He makes it so hard to stay angry. 

I find myself on my feet and walking towards the closet. I’m trying to tell myself that this is my own choice. Dressing would alleviate the cold apartment problem. And, though I accept this begrudgingly, Johnny did get me out of the bed. For all intents and purposes, I am mobile now.

“How’s it going?” Laura calls from the living room.

“We’re fine.” He calls. I feel some heat behind me a second before a hand is on my waist. His other one is a little higher up. “We are fine- aren’t we?” He whispers in my ear. Close enough to tickle and send shivers down my spine. My dick starts reacting pretty much against my will. 

IF I had my way, I'd run cold on him for at least an hour for his insisting on my needing help. 

God, though. His body. His heat. It's almost enough to make me forgive him. “Yes. We’re fine.”

“Good.” He starts to kiss my neck and shoulders… which is very much distracting from the task at hand. “I’d hate for you to be upset with me.”

“Then you should stop upsetting me.” I try to grouse.

He chuckles against my skin. “What are you going to wear?”

“Does it matter?” I ask in what I hope doesn't sound too, too snappish. 

He smiles. “Well… yea. I mean, sorta.”

“Why?”I turn back my head to my good side and stare at him. 

He’s quiet for a second. “You don’t remember what day it is?”

“No…”

Now he’s laughing. “Oh, you’re going to love this. Remember when I told you I had that benefit thing to go to?”

….

“…”

“Ya, I thought so. Remember when you got so upset with me because I was planning on taking one of the lab assistants because you said you didn’t want to go?”

“…. Yes.”

“Alright. Well…” his hand lifts from my waist. “That’s today. We’ve been calling you all morning.”

“You said that would be an evening event.”I mumble. 

He smiles again, returning to kissing my exposed shoulders. “You and I stayed up until five this morning.” He recalls, in between kisses. “And I left around eleven. You were still sleeping then. We gave you a few hours- figuring in how much you like to sleep here recently. And then started calling you around Four. It’s six forty-five right now. The event starts at eight.”

“Johnny-“ I get ready to snap, but stop. I don’t know what I’m angry at him for.

“Here.” He reaches over me and pulls out some kind of t- shirt. “It’s very casual dress.” He hands it to me. “Where are your jeans?”

“Dirty.”

“Dirty? You have like fifty pairs of everything. How are all of them dirty?”

….

“You’ve been doing laundry- haven’t you?”

“Yes.” I snap.

“How often?”

I spin around on him. “Are you here to help me or to pick on my housekeeping?”

He smiles. “We can pick you up a pair.” Johnny moves over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of shorts. One of his pairs to be exact. “Here. Wear these until we do.”

“Is he dressed yet?” Laura seems so patient. I want to stab her for her interference…. But I also want her to take me away from here. We’ve all unanimously decided that driving isn’t something I’m completely capable of now. I’ve been pulled more than a few times for ‘erratic’ driving. The last time, it was so enraging that I almost ended up behind bars. Somewhere in my rant, they picked out something about Johnny, and since it was his car I was driving, thought to call the Fantastic Four. They cleared it up for me… under the circumstance that I didn’t drive myself anywhere anymore.

“No.” Johnny goes back to rustling through the drawers. “Here.” He tosses over balled up briefs… which I don’t catch.

One hand.. one eye… we’re still working on the coordination thing.

He receives the pointed look I’m giving him with a sheepish shrug. “Sorry.”

I turn my back on him while starting the tedious process of putting on clothing. It takes forever now. There’s always some amount of misjudging and struggling… I wish he wasn’t in here.

“You.. are going to fall over.” He says softly behind me. “Let me help.”

“I got it.” I huff.

Something gets tangled somewhere and I end up watching the room flip horizontally in slow motion as I land on my back. There’s a sharp pain in my palm as it’s dragged across something.

“Oh fuck!” Johnny rushes beside me. “Are you okay?”

“I think… I cut myself on the table.” I show him the blood issuing from my hand.

“I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

He gets up and leaves me there. There’s a sharp stinging pain in my hand from it was dragged across the sharp edge of the nightstand.

But something feels odd. I’m becoming adjusted to not having my healing factor… but this feels weird. The blood is messy on my hand but it’s drying. It’s…

“Here we go.” He comes back with the kit. “Hold still.” He takes a cloth and starts to take away the blood. “Does that hurt?”

“No.”

“No? This is a lot of blood. You should feel…” He stops after washing away the last of the blood. “There’s no cut.”

“No cut?”

“It’s gone.” He's pointedly looking down at my hand. 

There's no stinging. There's no... wound. 

It's.... 

Healed. 

“… how?” My voice is small. 

He looks at me for a second. “I don’t know.”

I can’t help but look at my arm…or where it should be. Like I’m expecting.. but no. Nothing is happening. “Johnny?”

“We’ll go see Reed.” He says urgently, smiling a little. “See what’s going on.”

“What’s happened?” X walks into the room, glancing over at us. “Are you alright?”

Johnny takes my hand and shows it to her. “He healed. No scar. No blood. Nothing. It’s gone.”

She nods. “Odd.”There's a smile underneath her cold exterior, though. 

“Very.” Johnny nods. 

I go back to looking at my arm. Any second… please. Any second.

My vision stays the same. 

No light on one side. 

No .. anything. Just darkness. I take my good hand and press it to below my empty eye socket.   
  
The alien feeling of nothing being there remains. There is no growth. 

"My eye.... Shouldn't it-"   
  
"Don't worry about it." Johnny shushes. "You don't worry about a thing. We'll go see Reed and see what's going on. It won't be a problem- okay? We'll just go see what's going on." 

Don't worry..... don't worry. 

It's... 

How can I be healing but not healed? 

“I think… we haven’t tested the healing factor since it was drained.” He says cautiously. “With the physical damage, we just thought that it was gone…”

Any minute.

Any second.

An hour?

Maybe a day?

No. This should take an hour max. It should have happened by now. Why isn’t it happening?

“Why… how?” Johnny follows my bewildered stare.

“Daken, don’t worry about it.” He says gently. “Here.” He helps me pull on clothing quickly. “Come on.”

They took one of Johnny’s more ‘low key’ cars. Some kind of SUV. I’m sitting in the back just waiting. Watching. Hoping on some level that this is a good sign. There’s nothing happening with my arm. No growth. No numbness or tingling. It’s just… as it was.

My eye is the same. 

Johnny keeps looking at me in the rearview. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

He doesn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t believe me. If I get my healing factor back… but it doesn’t fix my arm… what then? I’ll be crippled. I was adjusting to the fact that I would be… but then I was facing mortality like everyone else. If I go back…. and I’m like this? What will I do? How will I function?

“It’s okay.” He tries to sound soothing.

They must have called ahead at some point. Reed is waiting in the lab when we get there. “Good afternoon.” He tries to sound cheery. “Is… it not?” He asks looking between the three of us. “I thought there would be a little more happiness…”

“Ya…” Johnny drawls. “Do you mind taking a look at him?”

“Not at all.” Reed takes me into the lab. Blood is drawn, he’s examining my existing wounds, and he has the decency not to talk too much.

He goes to examine what he’s found, leaving me and Johnny in the examination room.

“It’s alright.” Johnny soothes, taking my face in his hands. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not.”

He spares a glance at my arm. “It will be.”

The waiting takes forever. I know we’re all going to be late now.

The door opens with a fate-sealing sort of ‘whooshing’ noise.

“I have your results.” Reed says quietly.

I don’t need to hear them. I can tell by his tone.

Johnny, on the other hand, looks at him imploringly.

“Daken, it does appear that your healing factor is functional again. Maybe the creature who stole it has come to some end and released it… or maybe he didn’t get all of it and you were able to restore yourself over time. But it’s fully functional again.”

“…and?”

“And… that is good.” Reed says in a calming tone. “It’s good to have your natural powers restored.”

“Wonderful.” I grouse.

“This is good news!” Johnny tries to be cheerful. “Right?” he looks at Reed, who doesn’t seem to share in his cheer.

“Well, yes. It is, I suppose. But I’m not thinking it’s something he wants to hear.”

“Why not? Daken you’re happy right? This is good news to you?”

“What about…”

Reed nods solemnly. “Your wounds don’t show any sign of advanced healing. My calculations are saying that your healing factor has been functional for at least a month now. It would appear, given how fast today’s incident healed, that if there was going to be some ‘regrowth’, as it were, that it would have occurred by now.”

A pin dropping could be heard by any of us at this moment- not just me.

“Daken..”

“I’m fine.” I shush Johnny before he can start.

“If you’d like we could easily do some more tests. Maybe prompt healing with some radiation or something like that.” Reed offers.

Because that’s always worked out so well for the millions of other saps who’ve tried it.

“No.” I stand from the table. “No more tests. No radiation. Just… leave me be.”

“… Alright.”

Usually, Reed doesn’t let me roam the building without Johnny. I guess he’s making an exception.

Because I’ve always been so prone to rational thought patterns when in great emotional distress.

Like… blowing up New York. Goading my father into drowning me in a muddy puddle. Continuing to violently pursue someone whilst losing most of my blood from recently inflicted amputations.

The city… I’m on some kind of landing that overlooks the city. It’s hot. Humid. Muggy.

The sounds of people drift up all these stories to my ears. The scents even more so.

People living. That smell… that noise. They aren’t afraid of what happens next. They aren’t afraid because for them- eventually- it’s over. Blink- done. That’s mortal life.

I’m 75 this year. 75. I should be old. I should be feeling the effects of aging and preparing to die. My life… what sham of it I have lived to this point, should be over.

Yet here I am… I look to be in my mid-twenties. Not old. Not aging.

The elderly often refer to me as a ‘young man’. I am not young. I have lived.

But… I haven’t. I’ve been a shadow. I’ve worked under the same person for decades. Every decision I’ve made was not of my own making.

It’s no surprise to me that I’ve gotten myself killed not once, but twice, since my departure from the shadows.

Since losing him.

Many rationalizations have occurred about this. Me bargaining with myself.

They all ended with this- I was in mourning. I still mourn. My old life, as horrible and pain ridden as it was, had a purpose. I didn’t have to decide anything. I told myself that all my knowledge and my love for the expensive were all my choosing. But they weren’t. They were distractions. A child getting to pick it’s favorite ice cream flavor in a sense. No real choices.

“Do this.” or “Do that.” Then the instructions followed. Lodge here. Seduce him. Seduce her. Seduce them. Whoever. ‘Now tell me what you know.” Ever since I was a child. “Tell me Daken, what have you learned?”

What have a learned? 75 years, numerous book smarts and languages mastered…. A fighting mastery that demands some sort of bragging.. what have I learned?

I can’t love.

I can’t feel.

I don’t know how to cope with normal human emotions.

I’ve learned how to bring myself down in flames in every single endeavor I ever venture in because of the resounding fact- I don’t want to do it on my own. I don’t want to live on my own. I don’t want to grow as a person because I’m afraid of what I’ll grow into. I’d rather be cold. I’d rather be unfeeling, and distant. I’d rather protect myself.

I’d rather not feel at all.

… only now I would. If he asked. I would bend for him.

He likes to be held. More so- he likes holding hands. I can oblige him.

He likes bad movies- usually involving some kind of sports car testosterone induced car chase. I can sit through them.

He… likes to know things. More so- he likes when I share.

But what can I share? I know nothing. My life has amounted to a grand sum of nothing.

And now.. it continues? Now I… damaged. I’m damaged.

That’s why the arm and eye bother me so much. It’s one thing to be damaged on the inside… but now my outside is showing it as well.

I… oh hell. That word. That word I can’t use. I want it. I want it with him. I get upset and worried and anxious and no one has ever even attempted to say it was ‘normal’ or not a sign of some deep weakness that eventually would lead to some sort of punishment. No one except him. No one’s ever talked me down. No one’s ever tried to listen.

“Hey.”

….

“Come here.”

I try to shrug off the hand that’s reaching for me.

“Come on.”

I glance over my shoulder at him. “What do you want?”

He slides behind me so easily, hands ending up on my hips, and a large portion of his chest pressed to me. “Just come here.” He soothes.

We’re quiet. I can hear his heart beating- sure and slow. Mine is faster- racing even. He doesn’t know how weak I’m feeling. How vulnerable. How could he? I can’t verbalize these things. He doesn’t know the extent of my damage. How can I ever even begin to court the idea of healing myself if I don’t know how to tell anyone what’s wrong and I myself know next to nothing about how human interactions are supposed to go??

“I’m…” I break the silence but have to stop. I’m trying to tell him- I am. I’m trying so hard. The words are piling up in my throat… pushing amongst themselves until the lodge there- stuck. Unusable.

“Ya?”

“I’m…”

“You’re what?” He prompts.

I let it sit for a second. I can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t where to start. I…

“Johnny… why do you stay?”

“Because,” he drawls. “You are an interesting person. You challenge me.”

“So… I’m a conquest?”

“No,” he says firmly. “You’re a question. I wanted to figure you out… and I kinda got sucked in. There’s… a fog over you. Underneath it, I get a glimpse every now and then of something completely wonderful…. I like to see that. I like seeing that a lot.” He tightens his hold on me. “That’s why I got in, anyway. I stay because I would do almost anything to see that… whatever it is. When you sleep… when you think I’m not looking and I’ve said something stupid but you’re laughing anyway- things like that.”

“I’m…” I stop again.

“We’re back to this?” he teases. “Take your time, I’m listening. We can stay out here as long as you need to.”

“I don’t work like a normal person.” I settle for.

He hums next to my ear. “That… is an understatement.”

“I can’t be close to people.” I continue.

He nods a little. “That’s not true, Daken. You’re close to me-“

“I don’t know how to be, though. It frustrates me.”

“You left the examination room because you were frustrated?”

“No. I left because I’m damaged.” I blurt.

“Ah.” He doesn’t say anything for a while.

My heart continues to race. What does he see? what does he think? His scent gives away nothing. His pulse stays the same, steady, rhythm that was when he first came out here.

“I… can’t explain it in words.”

“Could you… share?” He asks after some thought. “Let me ‘feel’ it, and I’ll help you label it.”

I… could. I could let him do that.

“It’s… not pleasant.”

“That’s okay.” He lets me go so I can turn around and look at him. “Go ahead.”

“Alright.” I slowly let some of this feeling- whatever it is- run off of me. It doesn’t make me feel better. Not even as it starts to register across his face.

He looks to be thinking something difficult.

There’s an odd feeling of openness between us. Like there’s not the wall that there usually is when I interact with other people.

“This is… confusing.” He admits. “Very confusing.” He pauses. “Little bit of anger- which you probably knew that one. Pain. Sadness. Fear… lots of fear.” He looks at me, and the feeling shifts. “Little bit of happy.” He adds. “I think that’s just from me and my awesomeness being so close to you in proximity.”

I look at him with an expression I hope conveys my patience in wanting him to tell me how to proceed.

“Here’s your solution.” He soothes, I stop emoting, drawing it all back until it’s firmly contained behind my own person. He opens his hand and shows me absolutely nothing.

“..”

“Nothing.” He clarifies. “Do nothing. Feel how you feel. Don’t try to have such an iron grip over everything. It’s been an upsetting year for you.” he takes that hand and places it on my face. “Be upset.” His thumb rubs my cheek. “Be confused. Be angry, be sad, be scared- be all of the above.”

“Why?” I settle for this instead of the million of other things racing through my thoughts.

“Because it makes you human.” He starts to smile but stops. “You’re really upset.”

“Yes.” How does it just now register?

“No, I mean you’re really upset.”

“What?”

He offers his thumb to me. “Tears.” He clarifies when I stare at him like he’s being stupid. “You’re crying.”

“I don’t cry.” I sneer.

“But you are.” He insists, taking my hand and placing my fingers on my face. “Upset. That feeling is upset. This is how you deal with it.”

I… “I don’t like this.”

Johnny smiles with extreme gentleness. “Well, that’s the downside of being a real boy, Pinocchio. Feelings have consequences. When you’re upset, you’re bound to yell or cry. Sometimes both.”

Pino- “Why Pinocchio?”

“Because you’re changing from some kind of puppet into a person.” He says simply. “I thought it was clever.”

I find myself laughing a little harshly. “If you tell anyone about this I’ll gut you.”

“Alright. Fair is fair.” He puts his hand on my back, pulling me in close to him. “It’s our secret.”


	4. Devine secrets of a one time shadow dweller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny and Daken get into an altercation in a restaurant.

Daken likes secrets.

Laura eluded to him having kept a good deal of someone else’s for a very long time. Major secrets. Game changing secrets.

It's part of his past that we don't talk about. The part that hits me so glaringly in the face that I can't ignore it... but that he won't hear any questions on. 

Keeping secrets has become a habit for him… he hoards them. Always listening and finding out things about others whilst keeping a tight lid on his own.

So, even though we’ve been dating for a year, if someone was to ask me, “Oh, well what does Daken like to eat?”

I’d have to say ‘oh really anything.”

“Anything?” they laugh. “he doesn’t have a favorite? Do you ever make anything for him?”

“No.” Would have to be my answer. No. Because I don’t know. He never shows above average interest in anything… other than me that is.

“What’s his favorite color?”

“No clue.”

“What’s his tattoo mean?”

“Uh… no idea.”

Things like that.

And they all ask, “Well what do you know, Johnny?”

And I have to admit- not that much.

He likes me to sleep with my back to the door so he doesn’t have to. He prefers to shower at night. Lately, he really enjoys sleeping in. He exercises like a mad man when he’s thinking. He watches TV only when I’m over even though he has a very impressive television.

I’m having one of those conversations right now. “Well, what will Daken want?” Sue asks whilst staring at the menu in front of her.

“Uh…” He’s late. Mainly because he wasn’t ready, wouldn’t accept help, and ended up having to ride with Reed. We had reservations, after all.

“Come on Johnny.” My sister chides.

But this is a nice place! We’re all dressed up and spiffy… I can’t even pronounce half the food on this menu! How am I supposed to know it well enough to guess what he’d like??

“I don’t know.” I glance down at my empty plate. “How about the steak?”

“Alright.” The waiter beside me writes that down. I can almost feel his judgmental gaze doubling through his somewhat tiny glasses. I have the undying urge to grab him by his bleached blond hair and shove his face into the table for insinuating that my love is not real on some level because my boyfriend refuses to tell me anything. “And how do you think he’d like that cooked?”

“Uh… rare?”

“Johnny are you sure? Undercooked meat can be disgusting.” Sue says carefully.

Groaning I pass the man my menu. “I’ll have the same. If it’s not done well enough, I’ll just torch it at the table.”

The man stammers. “..S..sir?”

“He’s kidding!” Sue says with an over exaggerated laugh. “Of course he would never create an open flame in the middle of crowded restaurant.” She glares at me pointedly.

“Of course.” The man seems to settle. I should do it anyway. I can feel the tips of my fingers getting hot. A tiny flame. Just a tiny one.

Blondie directs his attention to the other member of our party- the one who’s been completely silent since she got here.

“I’ll have a water, please.” She says when she notices his gaze.

“Anything else?” He prompts.

Laura shakes her head. “I had ‘McDonalds’ today and it doesn’t seem to be agreeable with me.”

Of course.

“Well, if that’s all,” The man takes the menus, “I’ll go and put these orders in and alert you the second the rest of your party arrives.

“Thank you,” Sue says brightly. As soon as he’s out of sight she glares at me. “Johnny, you know better than to threaten to use your powers at the table.”

“Do I?” I grouse, moving my fork around on its place setting.

“Yes, you do.” She says snidely.

“Oh, good. Then I can bring my total sum of knowledge up to one item for the night and call it done.”

“Don’t be a baby.” Sue says heatedly.

“A baby? I’m not being a baby! I’m just asserting that I know nothing since it seems to be what you want to hear!”

“When did I say I wanted to hear that??” She whisper-yells. Sue doesn’t want a scene. She’s out here with her understated makeup, hair piled up nicely on her head, elegant dress with sensible shoes… she’s being the perfect role model.

You can dress me up however you like. It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t do ‘role model’ well.

Our waiter makes a quick, rushed, stride to our table. “Your party is here,” He says quickly. “And they’re making quite a commotion.”

God.

Sue nods, eyes wide. “I’ll go handle it.” She stands from the table, giving me one last glare. “No fires, Johnny. I mean it. You’ve got that look that you’re about to do something stupid- so don’t.”

“Fine.” I snap . 

“Fine.” She repeats, going off towards the front door.

The table sits in complete silence. “You know…” Laura finally says, looking up from her plate. “If you want to know more about Daken, you’ll have to trade him something.”

Okay… “What?”

“A trade. Information comes with a cost for him. Information on him, if you want it to be true, comes at a very high cost.”

I lean over a little more. “What should I trade?”

“What do you have?”

“…. Nothing much.”

What would he possibly want? 

What's a worthy trade for something as simple as 'what's your favroite food?' 

She nods. “Well is there something he wants from you? Some kind of… ‘action’ that you could perform to loosen his grip on his secrets?”

“What?”

“He wants something from you.” She says again. “He told me… and yet hasn’t seemed to have gotten around to talking to you.” Laura raises an eyebrow. “Odd.”

“Odd.” I repeat. “SO you know what he wants?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll tell me?”

She raises her eyebrow. “It’s not something we should discuss in public.”

Oh god. It’s bad. He wants something illegal. He wants me to help him overthrow some small country or some shit. I knew this streak of not doing anything dastardly had to be a sham. He’s been too good for too long. What will this mean for us? How can I possibly reign him in if-

“It’s nothing bad, if that’s what you’re thinking.” She interrupts. “Your scent grew very panicked.”

I have to level with her. “Look, I’m going to level with you- I’ll do anything to get to know him better. What does he want? You have to tell me.”

She looks around the room before leaning in closer to me, “Alright. He wants for your roles to be ‘reversed’.”

“Revers- what?”

“He wants you to do what he usually does.” She tries again.

“What? Take care of him? He wants to be the one calling the shots?” I laugh. “that’s not going to happen.”

“Not reversed in every aspect. Just one.” She says pointedly.

“And what would that be?” I grouse. He wants to be the one to do the caring. He wants to make sure that I’m behaving? What does that mean? What does that-

“The bedroom, Johnny.” She sighs. “He wants the roles reversed in the bedroom. Trade that, for knowledge. Sex works wonders with him, so I’ve been told. Trade your willingness for information.”

Ah… okay? He wants… he wants.. me? I mean I love him. I like to look at him. I’m not minding being with another man in the slightest. But… me? Where he usually is? He wants… me? Inside of me? Oh god. The room is starting to get hot. It’s not like I haven’t toyed with the idea… he seems to like it well enough. You hit that one spot and he’s as good as gone. But… me? Taking and not giving? How does that work? What’s the point of having sex if I don’t get to come? Can I come if I’m on the bottom? I mean he obviously does, but what if I don’t? what if I don’t like it?

“Me… on the bottom?” I try to be quiet.

“Yes.” She nods. “I’m sure he has no problem with how things usually are… but he mentioned something about being able to get more satisfaction.”

I go to answer her, but Sue’s come back with Reed and Daken in tow.

“Daken,” She says lowly, trying to sound pleasant, “Got into a fight with the coat check.”

“AH.”

“He started it.” Daken growls.

“I assure you,” Reed says from behind him, “He didn’t.”

“You shouldn’t just grab things.” Daken says heatedly.

Reed nods. “I know your stance on what’s happened. Let’s just sit down and enjoy dinner.”

“Fine.”

The meal is brought out soon after Daken sits down. The waiter seems more pleased with his silence than he was with his other actions.

I’ll give it to Daken, he’s trying to behave.

We all start eating and ease back into normal conversations, my own earlier panic completely forgotten.

“It’s not a rocket, per say.” Reed goes on to explain something that Franklin has been working on. “It’s more of jet pack.” At Sue’s exasperated look he quickly adds, “But I’ve told him, of course, about the dangers of using it indoors.”

“Of course you did, dear.” Sue says with an eye roll.

“I am happy to hear of a story involving your children that does not involve dinosaurs,” Laura smirks. “I had a very odd evening when I babysat for you.”

Sue chuckles. “No, I think we’ve moved past dinosaurs. Val insists that it was just a phase.”

This feels nice… but odd.

Mainly because we haven’t heard from Daken. Surely he’s not still stewing on his interrupted battle with the coat check….

“Are you alright?” I ask, leaning over towards him. He’s yet to touch his food. “I can heat the steak up for you if you’d like.”

“I’m fine.” He says somewhat heatedly, not sounding ‘fine’ in the slightest.

“Okay… well, are you not hungry or something?” I continue to push.

“Starving.” He snaps.

“Okay….” I look down at his plate. “Well, I’m told this place has really good food.”

“That’s just wonderful to hear.”

Why the hell is he getting so angry at me? I got him food! This place is supposed to have killer steak! Portions so thick that they have to give you nice knives. Not those dinky little… I look down at his plate. His utensils. And.. shit.

“Shit.”

He doesn’t look at me.

“I’m sorry.” I try to smooth over my faux pos. “Look- I can get that for you.”

“Not necessary.”

The table has gone quiet, all of them looking on in uncomfortable silence.

I try to pull his plate over, but he draws his claws, embedding them in front of it. “Stop.” He growls.

“What seems to be the problem here?” Of course our waiter shows up at this moment, eyes wide as he stares at the razors coming from my boyfriend’s knuckles.

“The problem…” Daken drawls. “Is that my boyfriend can’t seem to retain a single fact about me.”

He withdraws the claws, gets up from the table, and then leaves.

“…” The waiter is speechless. “Did he not care for the food? Can we get him something else?”

I cover my mouth with my hand, stifling a scream. “No. I just ordered him something he couldn’t eat.” I get up quickly and follow… what? How do I know where he went?

I’m half tempted to check the coat check person. I almost head in that direction when I hear commotion issuing from the men’s bathroom.

There. That’s him.

There are people standing outside the door, some even have their phones out.

“People, I’m going to need everyone to step back and go about their evenings.” I say as politely as I can to rubber neckers.

This one woman turns to say something snotty but then realizes who I am. “That’s… oh, my god. It’s a fantastic four issue! In the restaurant! We could be on the news!” She scampers away happily.

The crowd disperses just as a manger comes storming up.

“This situation is under hand.” I say in my most grown-up voice.

He falters when he sees me. “Is this… should we call you some backup? They’re saying that the man in there is armed and dangerous.”

I flash him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine. Keep everyone out of the bathroom until I come back out.”

The man nods quickly.

“And no news crews.” I add.

He stares at me with wide eyes. “OF course… I wouldn’t dream of it.” I catch him sliding his cell phone back into his pocket out of the corner of my eyes.

“Alright.” I open the door to find the room trashed. Several of the stall doors have been demolished, one of the sinks have been toppled, and the walls are all carrying very deep slashes.

“Daken?” He’s on the other side of the room, staring at himself in the mirror that sets just above a counter.

“What?”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“It was an accident.” I try to explain.

“You don’t know anything about me.” He says in a low tone. “You can’t even seem to remember what I can and can’t do.”

“Nothing is stopping you from eating here.” I say quickly. “I could have easily cut that up for you.”

“Like I’m some kind of child?” He sneers. “No thank you.”

He’s quiet for a second before releasing his claws again and stabbing the counter with a loud yell. “Why don’t you know anything about me?” He demands.

“Uh… you don’t tell me.” I say quickly. “You don’t tell me anything.”

“You’re supposed to notice!” He berates.

“You’re not that obvious.” I try to defend.

“Having one arm is pretty fucking obvious, Johnny!”

“okay… ya. That was a lapse in judgment on my part.” I soothe, trying to make my way over to him. I can see him visibly bristle at my movements.

“Don’t come over here.” He warns.

“I know you’re mad…”

“I’m furious.”

…. I look at him in the mirror. His eye locks on to mine and he does indeed seem really mad. “I’m going to come over there.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am. I’m going to come over there…and then I’m going to calm you down. Because this level of upset should not be unleashed on the general public,” I say all of this soothingly, “And you know how your powers are acting up lately. We don’t need this to turn into a blood bath.”

He sighs. “How?”  
“I’m just going to do what I always do.” I take a step forward, getting hit in the face by a wall of fury and… shame? He doesn’t like how he’s acting either. “Here we go.” I’m behind him now. “Can I?”

He looks at me in disdain.

“Daken?”

….

“Daken this feeling is growing. Let me talk you down. We don’t need it to spread.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

He’s dressed nicely. It looks good… they didn’t manage to get the blazer off of him. Which is probably what led to this bumpy night in the first place.

I put a hand on his shoulder… letting my other drop to his waist. “Touch helps you.” I explain.

“I know what helps me.” He snaps.

“Not going to argue with you.” I’m trying to sound soothing. I hope it doesn’t come off patronizing.

My hand slips under the collar of the jacket. “I’m gonna take this off.” I explain.

“No.”

“Daken-“

“NO!” His claws are in the counter again.

“Yes. We’re going to get skin contact because then you’ll have something to focus on. We don’t need this to spread.”

“….”

There’s noise outside. Angry noises.

He looks startled.

“Can I?”

Spreading. It’s already started. If he can get it outside this door, he can get it through the entire restaurant. He’ll have them at each other’s throats in minutes.

“…”

“Just gonna… take this off.” I start to remove it from him and he doesn’t stop me. “Awesome.” He’s standing in his white undershirt now. “That one too.”

“Really?”

“Really. Come on. Let me-“ Removing this one is a lot easier than the last. When he’s shirtless, I start to run my hands on his back, hoping that will be enough.

More angry noises from outside.

“I’m going to have to take mine off too- huh?”

He just glares at me in the mirror.

Having only one eye makes it that much more intense. 

“That’s alright.” In a few minutes, I’m shirtless too and I’ve moved forward and am holding him against me.

“It’s not working.” He sneers.

“Yes, it is. Just give it time. Focus.”

“Focus.” He mocks. “Focus on what? I’m angry with you! Why would I want you to come calm me down??”

“Would you rather Reed do it?” I tease.

“… no.”

“Didn’t think so.”

The air in here is cold. Though it does make his nipples nice and perky. I run a hand over his chest, fingers stopping over his heart. I know this is probably a brain thing. The thing that controls his powers… but they’re tied so deeply to his emotions here lately. Emotions don’t come from your brain…. So I like to think it’s got something to do with his chest. I trace the looping lines of his tattoo with my fingers, watching him exhale slowly as he reigns in some of his personal anger towards me.

“’kay. You’re going to draw back all that feeling you’ve pushed outside the door.” I order.

“NO.”  
Angers back. It lashes out in the front of my brain in red hot flashes.

I swallow spit and grit through it. “Yes. You’re going to stop emoting, draw it back, and leave it in here.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Of course you do. You don’t want to be in charge of all those people out there. That exhausts you. You hate doing more than one person at a time.”

“Fine.”

The noises from outside shift from angry to confused.

“Good.”

He’s trembling now. “Now what?” The anger in the room seems to be dissipating. There’s a good sense of shame now. He doesn’t like losing control. No one likes it when he loses control. Especially now that he’s revealed that he can drag people along for the ride.

“Now… what do you want? What will make you feel better, Daken? Anything.” I wince. “Legal- that is. No murder , no drugs, no running half way around the world.”

He’s silent.

The feeling continues to shift. So heavy… it’s like you can see it. It’s like it’s alive.

“What will help?” I repeat.

“…”

“Come on. What do you want? What will make you feel better? At least for long enough for us to get you home.”

“For you to know something about me.” He says quietly.

“I can’t know anything unless you tell me. You keep your secrets locked down tight. Tell me one. What’s something about you that I don’t know?”

“…”

“Daken?”

“That’s not my real name.” He blurts.

“Oh? There’s a place to start. What’s your real name?”

“….”

“See? You can’t expect me to know if you don’t tell me.”

“I don’t use my real name. It’s… painful.”

“I bet it’s a nice name.” I try to coax. “Something exotic sounding. Tell me. I’d like to hear it.”

“… If we’re going out, I’d prefer to eat fish.” He says randomly.

“Not beef. Fish. Got it.”

“I don’t like storms.”

“Ok-“

“Or the cold.”

All that anger is dissipating. I pull him in tighter. “Why not storms?” It’s working. The emotion is dialing back. I take one hand and run it over his scalp, brushing it through his somewhat tangled… did he even brush this today? Did he shower at all?

“Japan is an island. Storms were somewhat frightening.”

“Of course. Why not the cold?” The motion has turned into petting. This is bound to be the most odd situation someone could walk in on. Two men standing half naked in a bathroom, one petting the other, playing 20 questions, while the air in the room itself could drive someone into a blind rage. This is my life. This is my crazy, odd, ever shifting life.

This is the life of someone involved with a previous shadow dweller. I wanted him to be real. He’s become real for me. Too real sometimes. The pheromones get stronger the higher his emotion gets. His emotions are getting stronger because he’s actually trying to use them.

“Training.” He says simply. “Endurance.”

“Alright.” I’ll pretend to know what that means.

“I … dream of someone else.”

“Oh?”

“Not like sexually… but sometimes he’s there.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“More so after I lost my arm and the eye. He would have said I was undesirable.”

“Well…” I drawl. “You’re not.”

Out of nowhere he turns around and grabs me, crushing his lips to mine. A surprise that’s not completely unexpected.

“mm.” I try to break it off, but he’s not having it. Eventually I end up pushing him off of me for a bit. “I think… I think that does it for the anger.”

He nods, trying to move closer.

“But this is also something we don’t need to spread.” I say carefully.

He looks somewhat hurt.

“Hey…” I soothe. “You know that you can’t control it when we fuck. It’s just a fact. We agreed not to do it in public anymore.”

“Please.” He… begs? Why is he begging?

“No, honey. Not right now.” I pull him against me again, his face ending up on my neck. “Just breathe.”

“I want to go home.” He sighs.

“Alright.” I agree. "We'll take you home." 

“And I want you to come with me.”

I can’t help but smile. “Sure, Daken anything-“

“And we’re going to fuck.” He interrupts.

So that settles that. Another odd power display. Another diversion from our nightly plans.

“Alright.”

“And I get to emote all I want.” He continues.

Wonderful…. That always leads to some interesting sex to say the least. “Emote away.”

“Also you’re going to buy me something else to eat.”  
“I can do that.”I smile. "I can do definitely do that." 

He nods, offering his hand to me. “Don’t let the manager bother me. I swear I’ll gut him.”

“Ya, ya.” I sigh. 


	5. Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight smut... nothing too graphic though. :P

My little meltdown the other day has resulted in my not leaving the apartment in a few days. 

I was sure everyone (Including my Significant other) would realize that this meant I didn't want to be bothered.

“Hey.”

Apparently- no surprise- I was wrong. 

The room is somewhat cold, again. I watch the air current move the curtains concealing the sun glare that’s coming from the window. Everything is in slow motion. I’m so undeniably tired.

“Daken.”

It’s hot outside. New York city hot. I don’t know which I find more uncomfortable.. the cold in here or the heat out there.

“Daken.” He calls in a sing-song tone, walking his fingers over my shoulder. “You still mad?”

Mad. Ha. That’s laughable.

“You’re still mad.” He teases. “Don’t be mad.”

“Get your hand off of me.” I snap.

His fingers continue to walk over to my neck, and can see him grinning. “Don’t be mad.” It’s said again in a song like fashion.

“Stop touching me.”

“Grumpy.”He continues to sing. 

He pulls his hand off for a second and then restarts his actions. “Johnny, I’m really warning you.”

“What? You’re going to hurt me because I’m interfering?”

Argh. This man is so frustrating! I should get rid of him… but I can’t. Part of me really enjoys the torture.

“I’m going to hurt you because you won’t leave me alone.”

“Let’s take a shower.” He suggests. “It’ll be relaxing.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

"I told you everything was worked out from the other night." He says happily. "There's no consequences! You don't have to hide out like a criminal!" 

"That has nothing to do with the situation at hand and you  _know_ it." I hiss. 

“Surly.” He says randomly. “You’re not mad, you’re surly.”

“Johnny!” I snap.

“Surly because I wanted to help him.” He says in altogether different voice to the creature sitting at his feet. “Isn’t that right boy?” The thing makes a small ‘woof’.

“I don’t want that creature in my house.” I glare murder at it…. but it doesn’t seem to care.

Johnny keeps grinning. “Ah, he’s not a creature. He’s ‘King’. Isn’t that right King?” The dog perks up at his name.

“ ‘King’ isn’t allowed in my house,” I repeat. “I don’t like animals.”

“Sure you do.” He insists. “Come on Daken. He’s cute. Look at his paws!” he picks the puppy up and shoves it in my direction, raising on of said paws and waving it at me. “Such floppy paws. Do you want to pet him? You know you want to pet him. Pet him.”

'King' is a large German Shepherd puppy. Pointed ears at the alert. Tail wagging.  

Johnny is very much reminding me of a puppy himself right now. I don’t like puppies. I don’t like kittens. I don’t like anything covered in fur. And I especially don’t like them in my home.

“If that thing pisses on my couch…”

“He’s potty trained.” Johnny shushes before directing his attention to the ball of fluff in his arms. “Aren’t you King? Such a good boy. Daken’s just being grumpy.”

“Johnny- why do you have that thing with you?” I ask for what I'm sure isn't the first time. 

“I already told you. I thought-“

“I’m not blind, Johnny.” I snap. “Dogs are for the blind. I can see.”

“Ya…. Okay. But then you could use him as some company when I’m not around.”

“I’m not keeping a dog for company.” I growl.

King perks up and starts to growl.

“Aw, he likes you!” Johnny teases.

“Take it back to whoever you bought it from and get your money back.”

“Nope.” He raises the paw again. “Look how big your paws are, King! You’re going to be a big boy aren’t you?”

“I’m serious.” I growl again. 

“He’s serious now.” Johnny mocks to the dog in another voice. “We should be scared.”

“You should be scared.” I agree.

“I think he just needs a nap. He hasn’t slept in a.. week now. Ya, it’s been a week. He needs a few hours of rest. He’s so paranoid right now- ya know? That’s where you’re going to help. Daken needs some help. So he can sleep. ” He says in that ‘cutesy’ voice people use when talking to animals.

“Stop-“

“What?” Johnny laughs. “Telling your secrets? He’s a dog.”

I can remember Romulus' attitude towards animals. I think, begrudgingly, that it's rubbed off. 

I vaguely recall an incident when I brought an animal into the compound. It did not end well for either of us. 

I've not liked them since.  

“Stop.” I repeat.

“No sleep.” He continues, getting up from the couch and carrying the dog around the apartment. “No sleep at all. We should put him to bed.”

“You… Johnny, you’re really pissing me off.”

“Now he’s pissed.” Johnny continues. “Come on Daken. Go lay down. Me and King will watch the house for you.”

Argh. “I don’t’ need you to ‘watch the house’ for me! Take the dog and leave!”

“Nope.”

I go to react, but he’s suddenly on my bad side, hoisting me to my feet with one hand. “Johnny don’t you dare.” I threaten.

“You need to sleep.” He repeats from earlier, still smiling.

“Get your hand off of me!” I cry. 

He starts to pull me towards the bed room. “Johnny, stop!” I warn.

My heart is frozen in fear. I can't even begin to explain to him why this is setting me off. 

He doesn't know that side of me. 

Johnny laughs. “It’s just sleep. You’ve been so worked up recently. Reed told me that it was sleep deprivation 101.”

"Johnny please!" I beg. 

The dog in his other hand makes a small noise again. Pathetic.

Too desperate. 

“I don’t need sleep!” I try to fix my blunder in giving too much away. 

Reasoning with him is pointless. I’m going to have to stab him. He’s going to make me stab him. He thinks just because I… that word… I don’t have the balls to stab him.

I try to get a good angle to do so but he’s already backed me up to the mattress. “Lay down.” He says with a push before setting the dog on the floor, and pinning me to the mattress.

This leads to some wrestling where he obviously has the advantage on me. He flips me onto my back in the dead center of the bed…. which we’ve already established is bothersome for me.

“Johnny!” I snap, breathless."Johnny stop!" 

He smiles all the while. “What? Bed too big? You said you didn’t have a problem when you laid here.”

“Why are you doing this?” This is a whine. I should have stabbed him… but I didn’t.

“Because YOU need the sleep.” He goes to step away from the bed. 

“Don’t you dare leave this room.” I growl. 

“You can’t sleep with me in here.” He laughs. “Here.” He adjusts the blankets over me. “Go to sleep. I’ll be on the couch.”

“Johnny I sear to god-“

“Good night, dear.” He leans over and kisses me. I bite him before he can pull away.

“OW!”

“Help me up.” I hiss

“It’s sleep- Daken.” He fusses. “You need it. Go to sleep.”

“I am not a child!” I berate. “I will decide when I do or don’t sleep.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.” I say with a nod.

“You remember fixing your coffee this morning?” He presses.

Ah… “Yes.”

“And you liked it?”

“Yes.” I say stubbornly 

“Really.”

“Yes!”

“Orange juice and all?”

…. So I’m a little sleep-deprived. That’s hardly my fault. I’ve had such horrible- no. He doesn’t get that explanation. I’ll not use it as an excuse.

Like I said, he doesn't get to see that side of me. 

I don't care if Romulus was trying to speak through the dreams to me directly- I still wouldn't tell Johnny. Johnny and he have to be kept completely separate at all times. Least I pick up old habits I've tried to rid myself of and end up accidently hurting him. 

The last thing in this world I want to do is hurt Johnny. 

I realize that. That's why I couldn't stab him. 

The idea of him being in pain makes me.... uncomfortable at best. Upset at worse. 

“Yes.” I say a little more quietly. 

“Really?” He smiles as he exits the room.

“Johnny!”

There’s movement in the kitchen, the microwave door is opened and shut, and the buttons make the annoying beeping noise they make when pressed.

… “Johnny?”

A god awful stench fills the room. 

He comes back about thirty seconds later holding the mug from earlier. “If you like it so much - drink it.”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you!” I cry. 

“If it wasn’t a sleep loss addled mistake and you’re known to drink it that way- then prove it.” He repeats.

… “I’m not thirsty.”

“You don’t drink coffee because you’re thirsty.” He says, singing again. “Here.”

“I’m not drinking that!” I feel like my head is going to explode from the sheer amount of frustration that he’s causing me.

“Because..” he prompts.

“Because I don’t want to.” I try to reign in my frustration and make good argument points. The ball is most definitely in his court due to my own negligence in keeping up with my surroundings.

“Because...?” he continues.

“I don’t want to.” I hiss. 

“No.” he smiles. “Because...”

“It was a mistake!” I admit finally. “Are you happy? Yes, I admit it, it was a mistake!”

“Good.” He puts the mug down on the side table beside the bed. “See? Was that hard? You need sleep, babe. You’re driving yourself crazy by not doing it.”

“I… I am not.” I’m stunned.

“You ordered take out last night.” He says carefully.

“And?”

“And I had to go and reorder it because you called the wrong number.”

…”what?”

“You called my phone.” He insists. “You thought someone was actually talking back to you. You’re tired. You need rest.”

“Fuck you.”

“Later.” He never misses a beat. “It’ll be awesome, I swear.”

…”I’m not tired, Johnny.”

I complain even as I feel my eyes grow heavy. 

"You have awful nightmares." He says gently. "It's keeping you up." 

He.... 

"How-"   
  
"You don't always wake up from them." He says. "And you talk in your sleep." 

"Johnny, I can do without sleep. I can. You don't understand how well my healing factor works-"   
  
"We just learned that it was working again." he says. "This has nothing to do with your healing factor." 

"I'm not tired." I say quietly. 

“Sure you are.” He strokes my hair. “You’re barely keeping your eyes open as is.”

That’s… not completely untrue. But again- that’s not my fault. The bed just happens to be somewhat comfortable.

“See?”

“Why are you doing this?” I repeat from earlier.

He smiles again. “Because I care about you and want you to be healthy. Sleep is an important part of that.”

Things are getting a little fuzzy. I blink for a second too long.. and don’t reopen my eyes.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He’s sleeping.” Someone says from the living room.

“Really?” The person they’re talking to sounds surprised.

“Really.”

“I was going to force him to take a sedative. This is a very pleasant turn of events.” The voice admits. “How long has he been asleep?”

The first voice pauses. “About six hours.”

“That is good news.” This voice pauses for a long second. “Why do you have a puppy?”

The first voice laughs. “I thought he’d sleep more easily if he had something around to help keep an eye on the house.”

… “You got him a guard dog?”

“Well after what you told me…”

“Ah.” There’s another laugh. “I wish I had thought of that. The company won’t kill him.”

“That’s what I was saying!”

“You are very… cute.” I’m guessing she’s talking to the dog.

She… yes, that’s Laura. She was going to make me take a sedative? Has my behavior really been that off?

“I’m going to go check on him.” Johnny, that's the first voice, says. 

There's a sound I don't place as Johnny opens the door. It may have been another door opening in the apartment. I go to try to figure out exactly what she's doing in there but decide I don't really care at the moment. 

I have mere seconds to decide how to react to Johnny's presence. I’m not angry. I feel a lot better after having slept… but at the same time, I don’t want him to think it was okay to bully me into doing what he wants.

“Hey.” Johnny says quietly. “You awake?”

“What time is it?” My voice sounds hoarse from sleep.

“Seven. I’ve got some food on the table for you.” He sits on the edge of the bed. “You still mad?”

“…no.” I sigh.

“Good.” he smiles brilliantly. “Laura came over to check on you. She said something about receiving a confusing voice mail??”

“I.. don’t remember calling her.”

Johnny chuckles. “Ya. She figured you didn’t.”

“What kind of food did you get?” I change the topic entirely.

“Pizza.”

I groan. “Please tell me you went and picked it up… I don’t like-“

“You’re slipping.” He teases. “You had takeout delivered just yesterday. You’ve already broken your own rule. Now it’s safe for all of us to do it.”

Well… he’s not wrong. “Is it at least good pizza?” I sigh.

“The best.” Johnny smiles.

He leans over me a second before climbing up in the bed. “Hi?” I’m kinda stunned by how fast he’s moving.

“Hey.” He chuckles, kissing my shoulders through my t-shirt. “Ah. Cloth in the way.”

“What are you doing?”

He continues to kiss his way down my still clothed body. “You’re so sexy when you wake up…. let me have this.”

“Have-“ I stop. He’s down to my sweats and seems to be very determined for me to feel him there.

“Yes?” he teases, running his hand over my rapidly hardening dick. “I’m sorry, have I distracted you?” He mouths the appendages through the cloth. “You want my mouth baby?”

“Laura’s in the next room.” I whisper. “She can hear us.”

“Then you’ll have to be quiet- won’t you?”

“She’ll… smell us. Johnny, we can’t. She’ll know.”

“Never bothered you before.” He mouths me again, looking up the line of my body with shining blue eyes. There’s a wet spot on my pants from his sucking. If I go out now she’ll know anyway. And she’s probably heard this conversation….. so why get all the dirty looks and not do anything? If I’m going to be judging I should at least do what I’m being judged for- right?

“… Fine.”

“We’ll be super quiet.” He promises with a wink.

There’s something … dirty about the way he removes my clothing. It just seems obscene.

I have to admit- I love it. I love it a lot. 

I'm hard as a rock by the time he's done. 

  
He settles between my legs propping himself on his elbows and looking at me with a heated gaze. “Now… you’re going to be quiet…. And I’m going to make sure you can’t be.” He grins. “If I get you to shout- you have to keep the dog.”

“Johnny.” I hiss. “that’s not the deal you JUST Said-“

“It’s the game.” Johnny insists. “That’s why I’m doing it with Laura here…. you have a chance to win.”

He takes me into his mouth suddenly, making me jolt. I bite down on my tongue to contain the noise I was going to make.

He’s good. Very good. He takes me all the way into his throat before sliding back and.. Jesus. Does he have no gag reflex? He used to gag. This is so... smooth.

He sucks really hard at one point and I can’t help but buck up into his mouth.

He swats my ass at that but keeps up his momentum.

“Johnny.” I groan quietly.

I thought it was quiet enough for him to ignore it, but of course, he heard. And it encouraged him to slide a hand down my dick and sack. He starts to play with my opening in a most distracting manner.

“You said blow job.” I whisper. “That’s cheating!”

He takes his mouth off of me. “But you’re such a slut for being fingered.” He doesn’t bother to whisper.

“Johnny!” My voice is almost hoarse.

“What?” He pushes his finger in deep. “Ride my hand babe.”

“Stop talking.” I try to reason. “Lower your voice!”

He winks at me. “You want me to be quiet?”

“Yes!”

He adds another finger. “Holy fuck you’re tight!” That… was the loudest of all his statements. “Take it in, baby. That’s right.”

… “What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Ya.” He continues, looking over his shoulder at the cracked door. “Fuck ya. Ride me. You want this cock? Huh? Ask for it. Tell me you how bad you want it.”

“…”

His fingers massage my prostate repeatedly. As in, he hits it and then goes at it like a dog with a bone.

“You’re evil.” I groan.

“Can’t hear you.” he says much quieter than he his previous statements. “Feel that?” He’s back to being loud. “God… what’s that? You want it deeper? Ah, such a little slut!”

“Johnny!” I snap.

He smiles wickedly. “Was that.. shouting?”

“No!”

“Then that was.”

Oh god. He… but…

“Easy there.” He takes me back in his mouth, sucking leisurely now.

“You cheated!”

He continues to suck.

“I’m not keeping that thing in my house!”

His other hand cups my sac and he looks at me pointedly.

“No. I’m not giving you the satisfaction of-“

His fingers get more steady, faster and harder.

“You’re cheating.” I whine.

He sucks harder than before.

“I’m not keeping the damn dog!”

Steady.. hard. He’s milking me for it.

“What? You think making me come will make me keep the dog? What are you thinking??”

His fingers increase their power yet again and he locks eyes with me.

“I don’t care. I’m not going to-“

His fingers keep up their steady motion and he works me over into coming in a matter of seconds- before I can finish my statement

He takes a few seconds to recollect himself before laying his head on my inner thigh and glancing up at me. “ Did you like that, Daken? You like me making you come- don’t you?”

“You cheated.” I grouse.

“Hey, you got an adorable puppy and an awesome blow job. I think you’re coming out pretty well in this situation.”

“Why the hell did you have to be so loud?”

He smiles. “You have a humiliation kink. God forbid I indulge you once and a while.”

A… what? What? “Johnny.” I growl.

“What? That’s why you like doing it in public. You love the thought of someone knowing what you’re up to.”

“Why her though?”

He chuckles. “She’s not here Daken. She left. I thought you’d hear the door closing.”

Wait… so- “Then you knew I didn’t have a chance of winning.”

“That’s right.” He smiles wickedly. “Wanna get that shower now? Maybe return a few of those favors?”

…. “Fine.”

“Awesome.” He pulls me into a sitting position. “You’ve done a good job in not emoting.” He comments.

“Well, I thought Laura was in the next room.” I grouse again.

“Then… now that we’re alone-“

“I’ll ‘return a few of those favors’.” My turn to be the boss.

“Oh.” He looks surprised.

“What’s wrong Johnny? Afraid of something?”

“Nah.” He smiles. “I just didn’t plan on spending a whole afternoon on this.”

I capture his lips in a kiss. “Then you shouldn’t have started it.”

He nods. “Yea, yea. Daken the bad ass. Got ya.”


	6. The Slap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating a sadist's submissive. (i thought that was clever.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's dark. Very angsty. (Had to get a big one in there) 
> 
> But basically it's about the boys learning more about each other.

Today’s a big day. Slightly.

For us anyway.

I had some kind of interview shit to take care of so I missed the first part… but I’m here none the less.

I tried to go in, but Sue quickly pulled me aside into one of the waiting rooms where Reed’s sitting at one of the small tables with a cup in one hand and his other pressed against his brow. 

“…..How’s he taken to it?” I try to sound excited, but this doesn’t seem to be that kind of conversation.

I wanted this to be a surprise for him. 

Judging from the looks on their faces, I can see that was probably a bad idea. 

Reed doesn’t glance up from his coffee.

He's wearing his 'frustrated' face. I'd know it anywhere. It feels weird to not be the one making him wear it. 

I wait for a second before apprehensively turning to my sister. “Sue?”

She smiles a tight-lipped smile and motions to Reed.

“Well?”

“He,” Reed motions with the hand not holding the coffee… “I’m not sure how to put it. He was Daken.” He says sourly. “He’s behaving very much like Daken.”

“Reed.” Sue scolds before turning to me. “Daken didn’t like us being there.” She says carefully, walking over to where I’m standing and putting her hand on my shoulder. “It made him more frustrated than usual.”

Alright….

“He didn’t seem very determined to… ya know. Try?” She tries to explain.

Reed huffs. “He was determined alright.”

I look closer at him… and he doesn’t look happy.

“He didn’t seem off this morning…”

Besides his nightly routine of nightmares, that is . He woke up in a mood that I wouldn't describe as 'bad'. But then, come to think of it, it wasn't necessarily 'good' either. 

I shouldn't have sprung this on him. 

But... he seemed fine last night when I talked to him about it. 

I offered to let him help them design the arm. He seemed to be okay with the idea. 

“Well it was a little more stressful than he thought it would be, I think.”

There’s more silence as the two of them exchange some kind of look.

“Sue… did something happen?”

Sue does that smile again. “Well… the physical therapist, the one who’s with him now, was asking him some questions about things he wants to do in his average day…. And Reed kept butting in. He seemed to get more and more… embarrassed as the conversation went on…”

“Daken doesn’t do ‘embarrassed’.” I scoff.

Sue holds a finger up. “Well.. ya. He does. Very well.” She hisses. “Well, not ‘very well’. I mean… I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” She groans. “Look- yes there was a small altercation.”

“And…?”

Sue nods a little to herself, chewing on her lip. “The therapist asked a rather personal question…. Reed commented and Daken managed to do the wonderful feat of getting the arm to move…. by punching him in the face.”

“That wasn’t a punch.” The man grouses. “It was more like a slap.”

“Ah-“

“The prosthetic we’re crafting is very much metal at this point,” Sue says in explanation. “It was a forceful slap.”

“What did he ask?” I try not to smirk.  I’m not amused- I swear. Daken’s had a trying day, I’m sure. I’ve asked him to avoid hitting, slapping, clawing, punching or damaging my family member unless the need is called for.

But.... Reed getting punched in the face for interfering?? That's comedy gold. 

I have to remind myself to be a good boyfriend AND a good brother-in-law. 

“Oh, it was sex question.” Sue sighs. “Apparently Daken’s more private- as he should be- than Reed thought he was.”

“And… he slapped him?”

Sex question? When did Daken become a prude?   
  
We've fucked in the bathroom with my entire family on the floor. He didn't break a sweat. 

Now he's punching Reed over a simple question? 

“Forcefully,” Sue says with a nod.

“Very forcefully.” Reed agrees, finally looking up from his coffee and towards me. He does at a distinct reddish mark across his face. "It wasn't graphic or anything. I can't see where he would have deemed me stepping over the line." The man frowns. "His behavior has gotten increasingly more difficult to predict." He turns his calculating gaze to me. "Johnny, is something bothering him perhaps?" 

Oh, yeah. 

There is. 

And I'll bet it has everything to do with whoever he's talking to in his sleep. 

But he probably wouldn't want me to tell Reed that. So I shrug. "I don't know." 

A small, roundish, dark skinned man enters the room with a friendly smile on his face. “Any more coffee?”

Reed indicates to the coffee pot as the man nods. “Thanks.”

Reed sits up straighter. “How’s the patient Dr.-“

“Ben is fine.” The man interrupts. “I’m not a ‘doctor’, per se.”

“Any progress?” Sue says cheerfully.

Ben walks to the coffee pot and goes about making himself a cup. “Well…” he drawls. “We haven’t really moved past the violent aspects of the prosthetic yet… I think he wants some kind of blade embedded into it?” He looks nervously between Reed and Sue. “Balance issues aside, I don’t think it wise to indulge him.”

“We won’t,” Reed says quickly. “Has he… mastered anything else?”

“Mastery will take some time. We’re trying to work on the more basic things at the moment.” The man shakes his head. “Or we were. He won’t work with me anymore. He won’t even look at me when I’m talking to him. Complete shut down.”

I feel eyes turning on me. “What?” I grouse. “I’m not going in there to fix it. Maybe he’s right to be angry.”

“He wants to go home.” The therapist says in affirmation. “And he says he doesn’t want me to come back tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t mean that.” Reed says quickly. 

“Oh, he does.” The man says with a nervous laugh. “Did you know he had claws in the other hand?”

“Oh my god.” Sue gasps. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry-“

“I’ve worked with mutants before.” Ben says dismissively. “I’m not suing or anything. However, he really doesn’t want me to come back and I don’t think I should force him to… function, when he doesn’t want to.”

Reed sighs. “No, no. Come back tomorrow. We’ll get him here.”

The chubby man in front of us sighs. “Some people require a little time in these situations. Maybe he’s not ready.”

“That makes no sense. He has a problem. I’m providing him with a solution. An expensive solution.”

“He’s a very proud man.” Sue says quietly. “Maybe today was too much. We should have gone slower.”

“Give him time.” The therapist assures. “Maybe a setting that isn’t so medical. We want him to be acclimated to this in a comfortable way.”

“How much control would you say he could have of the arm?” Reed keeps pressing. 

"Reed-" Sue snaps. "He doesn't want to work with the arm. You're not going to force him to." 

There’s a cough from the door. “I want a ride home.”

He sounds so distant.

“Alright.” I smile. “I’ll take you back to your place.”

Daken's whole demeanor has changed.   
  
He looks distraught. But being Daken, it's not just distraught. It's him trying to cover up being distraught. He's upset. And he's going to pretend that he isn't for the sake of saving face. 

“Thank you.”

We’re silent for a moment. I’m glancing at him and can’t help but notice-

“Where’s the arm?” Reed asks bluntly.

 Daken sighs but it sounds more like a growl. “In the room.”

Ben nods a little. “You should take it with you. Just in case.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Okay… well, just in case you change your min-“

“I won’t.” He growls before adding in a softer tone, “Johnny, I’d like to go home.”

This was a bad idea. The last thing I wanted with this was to humiliate him.

“I’ll get my keys.” I look between the three of them pointedly when my backs to him. they look back with the ‘fix it’ looks.

Some things can’t be fixed. It sounds like Reed overstepped his bounds and embarrassed him. He won’t go back once that’s happened.

He says nothing when we leave. It’s a ten-minute drive to his place, and he says not a word. There’s no music, there’s no sound. Just this tingling feeling creeping up my spine. He’s holding it back as best he can… but some of that runoff is starting to fill up the car.

It's a weird feeling. Very much unlike any of his other emoting. This... I don't know. It's making me feel... almost powerful. In charge.   
  
But... that's not what he looks like. How can he be emoting that when his own demeanor looks absolutely crushed.   
  
Small. Daken looks small. Like a beat dog. 

I hate to use that comparison, but it sticks. 

I stop in front of his place. “Can I come up?” I ask into the silence.

He looks at me for a second before nodding.

“Okay. I’ll park the car and-“

He’s already out of the car and closing the door.

And whoa. This level of quiet is never reserved for me.

I feel a sweat break over me as I head up to his room. Every room I pass has someone yelling or crying in it. That feeling going up my spine is somewhat stronger now.

His door is slashed open. Deep notches around the handle.

There's low groaning coming from inside. 

Walking in I feel almost predatory. 

And... that's not right. He's hurting. Why do I feel like I'm... so large. So powerful. So..... this is so odd. 

 Okay. Know what you’re going into.

“Daken?” I try to close the door as best I can behind me. “Honey, are you okay?”

There’s a sound I don’t really place immediately. It sounded like an answer, though.

“Daken?”

The sound persists. That chill going down my spine is a down right shiver now.

I push through it and go into his bedroom. The lights are off and I don’t see-

There. On the floor.

“Hey..” I soothe. “Oh my god.” He’s… upset? That much I can tell. But the feeling is so intense the closer I get to him. “Daken... it’s alright.”

That noise is a toss up between a growl and a groan. He’s not crying but he’s not not crying at the same time. He seems… god, I don’t know what this is. Maybe it’s new. Maybe he’s found an emotion that didn’t previously exist.

The resonating feeling through me feels directly linked to it. Like I can feel the inside of his mind. 

Mind?   
  
That's not right. 

It's emotions.   
  
I can feel his emotions.   
  
But this... this feels different. 

I feel so.... 

Powerful. 

Like I'm responsible for him. 

Like I'm..... unstoppable. 

“Okay… that’s enough.” I try. Bending down to his level is like doing a polar ice plunge. It’s all shivers and intensity. “Cry or don’t cry. I know how to handle those two.” I try to laugh it off.

No words.

"Daken, whatever you're doing," I say carefully, "Could you stop? I don't like this feeling." 

He shakes his head. 

"Please?"   
  
I feel an intense surge of panic. 

"Daken?" 

"I can't stop it." He whispers. 

“Alright.” I sit on the floor in front of him and he pointedly turns away from me. I don’t know what else to do. He obviously needs me here but I can’t tell what he needs.

I take in his appearance. Jeans… tank… shoes- he’s fine. He looks like he should be fine. I don’t have a fucking clue what to do… so I’m going to get him comfortable.

My fingers are numb as I start to unlace one of the sneakers. He tenses but doesn’t stop me.

It’s relaxing in the mechanicalness of it. Lace through the loop, lace through hole, loosen it up, pull it off. Fine. done. I do the other one a little quicker.

This strange feeling in my chest doesn't lessen. 

That noise has settled into more of a whimper.

“It’s alright.” I try again. I want to try to get him into something to sleep in… but I don’t want him to think I’m trying to fuck him. I can’t start taking off clothing with him like this and have him think I’m just trying to get laid….

I pull at his shirt. It could probably stay on, but he sleeps better with it off. “Let me.” I don’t even finish. ‘Let me’ what? Let me strip you because I don’t know what else to do?

He complies partly, still not looking directly at me. I get to pulling it off and he won’t move anymore.

“Daken,” I soothe. “Honey, you need to tell me-“

He slides down the bed until he’s flat on the floor.

I take him in. He’s giving me so much to go on.. and then nothing. “… you want to talk about it?”

The whimpering stops momentarily. “No.”

“No? Because you kinda look upset.”

“No.”

“ ‘No’ you’re not upset?” I laugh a little nervously. “Cause I’m going to have a disagree.”

"Johnny," he whispers. "Johnny, Johnny, Johnny." Again and again. 

"Daken, whatever this is- I can help you." I try. "Like I usually do?" 

“No.”

“Honey,” I take his hand in my mine, “I know you’re embarrassed. That’s fine. You can’t just shut down, though. Okay? Embarrassed happens. It’s life.”

He shakes his head violently.

God. Sometimes, with his powers and the whole ‘wasn’t allowed to feel emotions for sixty odd years’ it’s like dealing with a teenager.

“Yes.” I nod. “Here.” I tug at his shirt again.

“Oh leave it!” He whimpers. "Please.. don't undress me." 

I hold my hands up. “Just trying to get you comfortable.”

“Comfortable?” He laughs and it sounds a little hysterical. “How can I possibly be comfortable??”

“If we changed your clothes … got you into bed… maybe put something on in the background-“

He makes that odd noise again.

“Daken, I don’t know what that is.” I try to reason.

“Neither do I!” he snaps, more in a frightened way than an angry one.

“Okay. Then we’re on the same page here.” I try not to snap back at him. “Let me get you into something comfy. It’s been a hard day, you’ll feel better if you can relax.” I wish I could just order him to stop. Part of me actually wants to try... but that's not logical. "Daken.... what are you making me feel?" I ask finally. 

He looks at me with a slightly helpless look.

"Please... I don't like it. It doesn't feel like... me. Please." I beg with him. "Stop it." 

He has tears in his eyes. "I can't." 

"What do you mean you can't?" 

He shakes his head. "Johnny...  I can't." 

I look him over. He's spooked. Downright.... 

"Daken what is this?" 

I reach out to touch him, feeling some kind of electricity race between the two of us. 

“Get up.” I try to offer a hand but he turns away again. “Daken, get up off the floor.”

That noise persists.

I end up on my knees over top of him. “Hey,” I try to get his attention as he violently pulls away from me. “Hey!”

"Don't!" He yells. "Please!" 

"Daken," I soothe, "Daken, honey, please. Just tell me-"   
  
He struggles underneath me. 

"Stop." I try. 

His body goes limp. 

He stops his motions and stares at me. “Come here.” He finally takes my hand. “Lean forward.” I pull him off the floor into a seated position. “Good. Give me your shirt.” He passively lets me remove it from him.

… this has happened in the past. I can tell by his actions that he’s used to someone stepping in and ordering. The way he sits so passively…. It's like he’s waiting for something.

I get the feeling... that I'm supposed to do something. 

That this is some kind of... 

Ritual. 

"Daken," I whisper. "What are you doing?" 

A single tear finds it's way down his face. "I'm so sorry." He whispers.

When I pull the shirt off, my hand brushes a little closely to his throat, making him flinch and tip his head all the way back. Exposing it to me. Not in a kinky way- either. More in the ‘this is the part where you..’ wait. Does he expect me to… is he being submissive to me? IS he waiting for me too-

“What are you doing?” I ask again, more gently. 

His eyes are clamped shut. “Daken.” I put a hand on his face and reposition him until he’s looking me in the eyes. “Hey. What are you doing?”

“I’m weak.” He says eye glossed over, like that explains this whole fucking thing. He tries to put his head back but I stop him.

“No… let’s keep our heads in the upright position… okay?”

He looks at me, and I swear to god he looks pale.

“What are you doing?” I ask for the third time. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" 

“Do it.” He whispers. "I'm ready." 

“Do what?” I stare at him hopelessly. "What are you ready for?" 

“Just do it.” He begs. "I won't fight you." 

“Daken- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I try to soothe. “Listen… calm down and listen. You’re fine. Okay? You’re fine. Don’t show me your throat, I don’t know what to do with it.”

He closes his eye again. I realize it’s because my hand is at his throat.

My body is having the strangest... reaction. I feel so... in control.   
  
Which makes no sense.   
  
I don't have a clue what's going on. This whole thing is totally out of character for me. 

it's like I've slipped into a darker version of my bedroom persona without my consent. 

Power.... dominance. 

He's being my submissive. 

In actual life. 

He's... 

Does he… am I supposed to hurt him? What does he want me to do? Who would do this to him in the first place?

I tentatively run my forefinger over his exposed flesh. He jolts.

It sends a shiver down my spine. 

I feel a million things at once. 

On top of all of it is a need. 

A... almost predatorial need. 

To make him mine. 

To make him... 

NO. 

I want him to be happy. I want him to be healthy. I don't want him to be 'mine' like that. 

This is over the top. 

“Daken…” I try softly. "Honey, please, whatever you're making me feel- I don't like it. I don't want to hurt you." I feel a tear running down my cheek, "Please don't make me want to hurt you." 

He doesn’t seem to care.

“Daken… are you listening?”

No response.

“Daken!” That one shakes him. He starts again, the air in the room getting unbelievably panicked.

Fuck. Damn. Shit. Fuck!

Okay. Soothing. He needs soothing. Soothing or panic is going to spread.

I can do soothing.

“Calm voice.” I say gently. “What do you want me to say in this calm voice?”

No response.

I add another finger to the slow caress of his neck.

“You’re not even listening to my words.” I gather. “You’re listening to my tone. Like… a dog?” I cringe, knowing he’d be angry. But he’s not. Because he’s not hearing my words. This is some fear based reaction. This is… oh my god it’s like some kind of default. Like a regression or some shit. Something someone needs to know about.

“I have no clue what you’re doing right now.” I say soothingly. “And that kind of scares me.”

He makes a small helpless noise. “Okay,” I continue. “I’m going to help you up..” I keep one hand at his throat and the other around his waist, pulling him to his feet. “Good. And now we’re going to move back here…” I lower him to the bed. “Excellent. Oh, my god. I have to call Reed. I have no fucking clue what you’re doing.”

His breathing hitches, making me realize that I’ve added another, firmer finger to his neck. “Something about your throat. Okay…. So that’s submission. Right?” I wait. “Right. You’re not going to answer. Okay… so submission. A lot a fear and submission. Also, you’re being realllllly compliant.”

He whimpers.

“Stop.” Why.. .why would I say that? 

 He stops.

It freaks the hell outta me, almost to the point of making me want to leave the room.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” I try in a move of sheer brilliance.

He makes a small strangled noise.

… okay, we’re not there yet.

Maybe that was too broad of a statement. “What happened today?”

This feels so.... natural. 

I'm never like this outside of the bedroom. 

He shakes his head.

I stroke his throat more firmly. “What happened with Reed, today?”

“Questions.” He says finally. 

“Questions?”

He nods.

“Okay. What kind?”

He makes that noise again. “ Okay. Not ready for that… Sue said it was a sex question. Did he ask something about our sex life?”

"Johnny." He mumbles

“Yes?”

“Johnny.” he insists.

“Yes?”

“Questions about Johnny.” He repeats.

…. “Alright?”

“Are you angry?”

…… “No?”

He whimpers again. “Please..”

And then it hits me. He… doesn’t think I’m me. He thinks I’m someone else. “Who am I?”

He groans.

“Daken?”

Now it’s a whimper.

I stroke some more. “Okay…. What did Reed ask about Johnny?”

“A question.”

“Yes… we’ve covered that. What kind of question?”

My phone’s in my pocket. I move my free hand to it and pull it out. He’s got his eyes closed…. As long as my voice stays soft and my hand stays at his throat, he’s fine. As long as he’s fine, there are no rampant emotions pouring into his neighbors. I text Sue a simple “Help?”

“A secret question.”

“A…”

“Johnny’s secrets.”

“I don’t have any secrets.” I laugh. But then... I’m not me? What the hell is he doing??? I mean I know he’s had a troubled past- but god damn.

“Please…”

The begging… he’s worried I’m going to hurt him… but then begging me to hurt him?

My phone buzzes.

‘what’s up?’

I type, ‘weird shit. What do you know about dominance and submission?’

Her response is an immediate ‘eww.’

‘not like that. Like in… animals?”

‘…..why?’

‘I think Daken is trying to make me hurt him. I think he’s trying to be submissive or some shit. He’s got me handling his throat…. If I stop he freaks out and it starts to spread. and.. I feel really weird. Like really, really weird. I think it's coming from him.’

‘ah… hold on.’

“I’m not going to hurt you.” I say gently. “No one is going to hurt you.”

Buzz. ‘I’m bringing Laura.’

‘Quickly.’

“No one is going to hurt you.” I repeat. I feel like it’s a safe mantra for tonight. I feel… protective. More so than usual. Someone has hurt him. Someone has hurt him so badly that this level of raw emotion for something as simple as being embarrassed has sent him spiraling down into this almost animalistic state.

I mean Logan would get mad- right? He’d go ‘berserk’? Feral is more like it.

But Daken isn’t mad. He’s not raging. He’s cringing. He’s… hiding.

“I’m going to keep you safe.” I try.

That makes more sense than any other emotion I've felt since this started. 

I don't want to hurt him. I want to keep him from being hurt. 

I don't want to scare him, I want to keep him from being scared. 

I don't want to own him...I want to keep him from being owned. 

“Are you angry?” He repeats.

“No.” I continue to stroke him. “No one is angry. You haven’t done anything to warrant anger.”

“Don’t hurt me.” He begs this time. "Please, Master." 

“I won’t.” I promise. “… can I take my hand off your throat?” Why did he call me Master? We don't have a master/slave scene. At most, he calls me 'sir'. He's never done this before. 

“I want Johnny.” he whispers. "Please. Please. Please. I want Johnny." 

… “I am Johnny.”

“Don’t hurt me.” He repeats.

“Daken… I’m going to need you to listen to me. You’ve done a lot recently… you’ve done very well and learning how to actually use your emotions. I think… maybe… it’s been a little stressful on you. You got a little upset today and it’s triggered this really weird behavior… kinda like PTSD almost? Can you tell me what you’re scared of?”

“Don’t hurt me. I'll give you everything.”

I move my hand from his neck and to his face, stroking his trembling cheek. “What are you scared of? Tell me and I’ll help you.”

“I can’t.” It’s almost a whisper. 

“You can tell me anything.”

“I’m weak. You'd know if I wasn't so weak.”

“No… you’re confused. There’s a difference.”

“They’re going to hurt me. They’re going to make it go away.”

“Who?”

His eyes are wide and his voice is trembling. “I can’t tell you.”

I move my hand from his face only to get hit by a wall of emotion again. There’s someone in the hall outside who screams…. And that worries me more.

“Alright, alright.” I shush. “Here’s my hand. Right here.” The feeling lessens as soon as I touch him.

“Johnny.” He groans.

“Ya?”

“I need him.” His neck starts to go back… but the mattress stops him. “Please.”

“More…. throat bearing. I thought we moved past that.” I try to soothe. “You can’t beg me not to hurt you while exposing one of your most vulnerable spots…. That doesn’t make sense. Right baby? That doesn’t make sense. You know I won’t hurt you. Right? You know that. And you know that I don’t expect you to be this crazy submissive, either.”

He shakes his head a few times and another whimper escapes.

“Alright.” I soothe. “Hey…. It’s getting darker. Would you feel better if we turned on a light?”

“No. No. I can’t see. Not until it's done.”

“You… can’t see? Right. Neither can I. We need to turn on the light.” I don't want to know what's being 'done' at the moment, so I ignore it. 

“I don’t want to see.” He repeats. "Please." 

“See what?”

“I can’t.”

He… what? He can’t what? This is like talking to someone suffering from shock. Nothing he’s saying makes any fucking sense.

He thinks I’m going to hurt him… shows me his throat whilst begging me not to… and maybe at the beginning begging me to altogether.

And what the fuck does any of this have to do with what happened earlier? What ‘secret’ of mine did he get so upset over??

When I'm distracted he puts his hand to his mouth, taking his thumb and biting it harshly, bringing blood. 

  
"Hey!" I yelp. "Baby, baby, what are you doing?" Wordlessly, he takes his bloody finger and presses it to my forehead. 

He closes his eyes tight. 

A wave of emotion I can't begin to process filters between us. I don't even know how to describe it. 

I feel everything. 

His fear. His panic. His wants and desires. 

And my own. My desire for his safety. My will for him to be happy. 

Everything mingles together. 

I have to remind myself to exhale.   
  
"Daken," I whisper. "What did you do?" 

He swallows. "I had to. There was no other option." 

He whimpers after that. 

There’s a soft knock at the door. “That’s Sue and Laura.” I announce softly. “I’m going to go let them in.”

I remove my hand for just a brief second and the panic drowns out everything. “OH shit.”

 

"I gave you everything." He says before saying something in another language. It's not English. And it sure as hell isn't Japanese.

"I'll give you everything." I try. "I'll give you so much, baby. Everything I have to offer. Everything. Just... tell me what's going on." 

"I need you." He says quietly. "My powers... my powers..."   
  
"What about your powers?" I ask urgently.   
There's another knock at the door. 

"They need a cap. I need a cap." 

"A.. cap?" 

  
he nods, eyes closed. 

"What kind of cap?" 

"They..." he swallows. "They'll keep growing." 

"Okay.. .okay.. we can  work with that." 

"If I don't have a cap." 

"Where do we get one?" 

He shakes his head. 

"Daken-"   
  
"Don't let me go." He begs. "Please, please don't let me go." 

There's a third knock, louder than the others.

‘come in. we’re in the bedroom. Turn the light on please, he’s got me stuck on the bed.’ I text Sue.

There’s a following knock at the bedroom door within the next thirty seconds.

“Johnny?” It’s Laura’s voice.

“Come in?” I sound as confused as I feel.

She walks in and flips on the light. It’s blinding for a second as my eyes adjust. It must be for him too because there’s a small trace of panic again. “This is not pleasant.”

“No shit.” I laugh. “Can you shed some light?”

“Barely. I’ve heard Logan talk some about Daken and some of his… past.”

“Right. The one where apparently someone ripped his throat out???” I stare back at her. "He was trying to get me to do that." 

She’s quiet, walking over further. I see her black jeans when I turn around slightly. “It seems likely given the character Logan mentioned.”

“Character?”

“Someone made Daken, Johnny.” She explains. “He wasn’t born like this. They took a lot of steps to make him.”

I stutter a little. “Like… a lab? A government program? A-“

“A person.” Laura interrupts. “Daken was made by a person, solely for that person.”

“Who?”

Laura looks past me to Daken. “I don’t think talking about them will make this better.”

“Who? IS he still around? Is that why Daken’s scared? I’ll take him out myself! Who? Tell me where to punch. Give me something I can do to make this better!”

“Why do you assume it’s a man?” Sue asks carefully.

I sigh. “He said sometimes that he dreams of another man. He told me that once… but I haven’t been able to get him to talk about it since.”

Sue walks closer. “We felt some run off when we entered the building… was that him?”

A dark chuckle escapes me. “Unless there’s someone else with high leveled emotion controlling mutant powers who’s having a breakdown.” I pause. "he's talking about a 'cap'. A 'power cap'. What is that?" 

Sue frowns. "I remember Reed talking about something like that once..... it was a tribe of mutants in Australia. Mostly Telepaths. They had certain people over others so their powers were managed. It's an ancient practice of control. Certain mutants around the world have been using them for years." 

"A power cap is another person?" 

"I've never heard of this." Laura says quietly, looking over Daken. "He's not a telepath. Why would he need one?" 

"His powers... he said they weren't controlled." 

Sue looks him over cautiously. "Do you think.... he had one before?" 

The nightmares.. .the other person. Could that.... 

"He called me 'Master'," I say. 

Laura's brow scrunches together. "That is very bad." She says quickly. "That is very, very bad." 

"Why??" 

Daken whimpers when my voice rises. 

"Daken was made for a person, Johnny." She repeats. "He might have worked himself over and thought that you were that person." 

What? 

"He knows I"m not, though- right?" 

"Daken," Laura steps froward, "Do you know where you are?" 

He whimpers. 

"I had to." He says. "Please, I had to. Don't take me away. I did what I was supposed to." 

I stroke him again. "What did you do, sweetie?" I try softly. "Just tell me what you did." 

"Why is there blood on your forehead?" Laura asks, taking another step forward. 

"He, uh... put it there." 

Sue crosses her arms. "Is it his?" 

I nod. "Why?" 

"A lot of rituals involve blood, Johnny. It's something power can flow through." 

Okay... 

"Daken.... what did you do, honey?" I ask gently. "With your blood?" 

I can feel his emotions, all of them. I'm more in tune with him than I ever have been. And not just with him. This is the most insane empathy I've had with another person in my life. 

"I did what I was told to." He whimpers.  

I look back as well as I can to Laura. “Where is this person? What can I do to stop this from happening?” I don't know what's happening, but I feel like it's going to be damaging. Damaging in a way that I need to do everything in my power to prevent. 

She sighs, coming to the foot of the bed and sitting. “The person is gone and the damage is already done.” She cocks her head to the side. “His hearts racing.”

“Ya… if I take my hand off of him, he completely freaks out.” I think back to Sue’s question. “Thus the emotional runoff you felt.”

“Okay… so you’re… what? Daken’s mate? Daken’s alpha? What is he trying to do here?”

“No.” Laura says firmly. “Daken is not an animal. Johnny just happens to be someone he cares very deeply for. He’s… protecting your secrets Johnny. You know how important those are to him…. he did that for one other person. Just one. Secrets so deep and dark that he still hasn’t told anyone. Doctor Richards wanted one of your secrets…. Daken did his best to keep it. And it…. reminded him of another situation.” She turns to me. “You’re all that’s tethering him right now. With his power fluxes, he could take several of his neighbors with him if he loses it.”

“MY secrets? What secrets? What was so important?” I let them hear my frustration.

Sue sighs. “It wasn’t that bad. They were talking about ‘activities’ that would require two hands. Sex was brought up and they tried to inquire as to whether you were… the ‘pitcher’ or the ‘catcher’.” She winces. “As crude as that is.”

“That’s what he’s so upset about?”

“Unfortunately the conversation got very scientific and very uncomfortable for him. Hell, I was uncomfortable with it.”

Laura runs a hand over Daken’s foot before tugging at his sock. “We have to put him to sleep. If he stays awake, this will go on all night.”

He closes his eyes. "Johnny." He barely whispers it. I don't know how I heard him. 

 “What do I do?” I ask her. "What do I do to help him?" 

She smiles. “Stay calm. He needs you to stay calm.”

“Right.” I don’t feel calm.

“That’s not calm.” She says simply. “Breathe.”

I look back at him and try to steady myself. “Alright….” His focus is solely on me. “Hey, baby. You can relax alright? Just relax.” I move my other hand up and stroke it through his hair. “Close your eyes.”

“Jo-“

“That’s right. Close your eyes. I’ve got you.”

“They’re going to take it away.”

“No, they’re not. No one’s going to take anything from you. You’re going to go to sleep and this will all be behind you.”

“Stay.” He pleads. “This whole thing is crazy. It’s completely crazy. Please stay.”

“There.” I soothe. “You sound a lot better already.”

“Please-“

“You’re fine.” I lean down and shush him with a kiss. “No one is going anywhere…” I stop and chuckle a little. “Except for them. They’re going to go home in a few minutes once we’re sure you’re going to be okay.”

Laura inches closer on the bed. “Try moving your hand away from him.”

I take my hands off, only to get hit by the panic again.

“Don’t do that!” Sue gasps.

Laura makes a small noise. “He really needs you tonight.”

“Why… didn’t you just say so?” I ask, for some reason feeling like I’m about to start tearing up.

“He probably tried.” She says with a shrug. “Hold him in here with you. I’ll sleep on the couch in case you need coaching.”

“Okay…”

“Also, the dog is in its kennel…. I thought you should know.”

Shit. I forgot about him. “Would you mind letting him out once the bedroom door is shut?” It’s such a normal conversation to have whilst this is going on.

“Don’t go.” He pleads again.

“I’m not.” I assure. “We’re going to get undressed, though. I’m going to… kick off my shoes.” I do so very awkwardly. “And pull off my jeans… I need a hand here babe. Can I have my hand?”

He shakes his head violently. “Daken, I need my hand for just a second.”

I struggle through the panic of letting him go and shimmy outta the jeans. Everyone in the room relaxes the second I touch his skin again. “Alright. Now your jeans.” I use one hand to awkwardly disrobe him. “Do you have to watch?” I grouse at the others.

“Just until he’s asleep.”

“Fine.” I guide him under the blankets, pulling him towards me and putting his head on my chest. Complete skin contact in a way that frees up my hands. “Over here please.” I motion for the two of them. “I need information on this.”

“Secrets.” Laura insists as she moves towards me. “He’s been someone’s secret keeper. That’s probably the only other person he’s ever loved- ever. He loves you and assumed the position as your secret keeper. There’s no telling what he knows about you.”

“Kinda… romantic?” Sue says unsurely.

Laura shrugs. “Very practical.”

“So… he’s not ‘mating’ with Johnny?”

X shakes her head. “No.”

"But he might have tried to make him his power cap." Sue says more than asks. 

"Yes." Laura says. "I suppose. I know nothing about that." 

"A power cap?"   
  
"A top." Sue tries again. 

“Like… Fifty Shades of Grey here or what?” I ask nervously.

"I... don't know." Laura says. "If he's calling you master..." 

"Okay- yeah, but he called that man 'master', I'm assuming, because he worked with him for so long. He wouldn't call me master. There's no way I could take the place of the man who made him." I stare at her. "Especially not over something as silly as-"   
  
"Tell me this," Laura interrupts, "Does he follow your orders?" 

"What kind of orders?" I ask helplessly. 

"Any at all." 

"If I make him, I guess." 

Sue nods, watching Laura. "Do you think-" 

Laura nods. "I think there's something Daken hasn't told us.... I think the tie that bound him to his master may have been a little more complicated than Logan thought." 

"So it wasn't just the man he worked for?" 

“No… I don’t think it worked like that.” Laura says carefully. “It was… how did Logan put it? All encompassing. That person owned him. They controlled every aspect of his life from the time he was a small child. He belonged to them.”

“….like a slave?”

“Almost, but not quite. He’ll never see it that way.”

"You probably shouldn't bring it up to him like that- either." Sue chimes in. 

“This person ripped his throat out?”

“That person tortured him for years.”

I turn my attention to him, his dozing in and out. I hope he doesn’t feel me pull him closer.

“Alright… so my boyfriend has only ever ‘dated’ one other person…. And apparently, it was a sadist or some shit?”

Laura shrugs. “I know very little. Logan rarely talked about him.”

“This dude run in the family… or…. What?”

“Hmm…. yes and no. He had a great involvement in many of Logan’s families lives. More so in their ends…. He’s responsible for many things in this complicated web we have. In a sense, he’s a driving force behind Logan becoming weapon x. So in a sense, he was also involved with my creation. Daken was marked from the time he was conceived. There was never any other option for him.”

“Shit.”

Sue nods. “That’s… interesting. Very much so. What’s the likelihood that I’ll get him to talk about it when he snaps out of this?”

“There isn’t any.” I answer before X can. “He hasn’t really talked about it as is. He’s said ‘they’ were going to take ‘something’ from him. There was no out right mention of a ‘he’ or a name…. the dude had a name right?”

“Yes.”

“… and you’re not going to give it to me?”

“If you said it, or asked about it, I fear he’d run from you. You wouldn’t see him for a long time.”

“Oh.”

“He’s out.” Laura says softly. “Keep a hold on him. The sleep will help the with the power flux.”

He feels so solid right now. So real.

“How… do I behave when he wakes up? He’ll be humiliated.”

“Play it by ear.” Sue advises.

“Eh- Wait. How much of this will he remember?”

Sue coughs. “It looks like some kind of trauma thing. IF he remembers and wants to talk about it- good. But there’s a chance he’ll only remember bits and pieces.”

“I’ll be on the couch.” X says gently, as she’s by the light switch. “And I’m ordering food…. Which I will use your credit card to pay for.”

“Alright.” I smile at her.

“Also, I will feed and play with the puppy….”

She finds that dog cute. It’s adorable.

"Are you going to be okay, Johnny?" Sue asks gently. 

I have to shrug. "I don't know." 

"Do you need me to stay with you?" 

I shake my head, watching him intently. "I don't think he'd want you involved anymore at this point. I think he'd want some privacy."

"Understood." Sue says with a nod. "I'll keep my phone on me tonight so you can text anytime you need me- okay?"

  
I nod.  

A silence falls over the three of us.  

Eventually, I just close my eyes and wait for sleep.  

The two of them leave and I’m left in a cold sweat about how he’ll act tomorrow. Sleep comes and goes and when I wake, to my surprise, he’s still here.

He draws closer to my chest.

“You alright?” I question sleepily.

I feel slightly hungover. Which is the worst way to feel when you've had absolutely nothing to drink the night before. 

“Yes.” He sounds a little tired as well. “I am.”

“You… want to talk?”

His runoff is amazing this morning. He feels so... content. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t need to.”

… “You sure?”

“Last night… today. All the time-“ he stutters. “I need you. I’ve never needed anyone so badly in my life. Not since him.”

I smile a little. “I know.”

“I know it was crazy. I’m sorry. Please don’t go.”

“You’re fine.” I kiss his head while looking at the clock. “I’ve… just got a lot to learn about you is all. I forget that you’ve got a few decades on me.”

He chuckles tiredly.

“It’s only seven. Wanna catch a few more hours of sleep?”

He nods.

I nod.

It’s the weirdest thing I’ve done in a while… but weird and Daken seems to go hand in hand. If having him means accepting some of the weird… I guess I’m just going to have to deal with it.

And, let the record show, that even when he’s gone completely crazy submissive- I am okay with that. Granted, I’m going to be doing a lot of research and digging… but I’m okay with it.


	7. Dominance is State of Mind.... unless you have mutant powers that could possibly make it more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken's little 'melt down' had some interesting side effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out that this isn't a story of one shots.... it's more like a loosely connected story of on going events. Totally not what I intended but I noticed that all the chapters have been building on top of each other anyway. 
> 
> Anyway I kinda have this head thing for the dynamics of Daken's powers and to the extent of what control they might actually have over him. 
> 
> Aka.... I thought of something i kinda thought was different, did some research that I'd rather not talk about, and brought you this. 
> 
> Just keep in mind that this is AU. So.... not cannon.  
> At any rate Enojy!

Johnny woke me up fuck ass early this morning with a phone call that made no sense. The only thing I could discern was that he was on his way over.

I know it's about last night. It has to be about last night. 

I remember him leaving this morning- after seven. He snuck out while I was dozing. 

I figured he had a reason and left it alone. 

That's when everything got fuzzy. Like a daze almost. Like being high. 

Then he called me. 

So I got up and sat in the kitchen and waited. I even went through the forethought of making him some coffee- which is harder than it sounds for me. Rather domestic of me, come to think of it.

He seemed freaked out… I, however, feel calmer than I have in weeks. I slept so well… bed was comfy too. I wish I could just crawl back in. He has a key to the place. Surely it wouldn’t kill him to wait a few more minutes.

“Uh… hey, baby.” He stammers from the door, actually making me jump as it swings in. “Can I… talk to you for a second?”

I’m sitting at the kitchen table a little fuzzy headed. He’s dressed like he did so in the dark- not a usual look for him. I’m one to talk, though. I vaguely toyed with the notion of actually getting dressed, but settled for just wrapping the blanket around my waist and using that.

“Is something wrong?” I get up and walk over to him, but he holds up a hand to stop me.

Johnny walks in and closes the apartment door behind him. “I’m uh… not sure. I think, you need to stay put… I uh… I mean- Honey, I…” he stops and looks at me carefully. “Are you feeling alright?” He pauses. "After last night?" 

I’m standing halfway from where I started and halfway to him… not very happy that he stopped me trying to touch him.“…yes?”

“Are you sure?” His blue eyes are wide.

“…yes? Johnny, are you okay?”

"Do you remember last night?" He asks in a spooked sort of way. 

Do I... 

Oh, fuck.   
  
"Johnny," I am full of dread. "Maybe you should sit down." 

He runs a hand through his hair. “I fell back asleep this morning back at my place and uh... I… had a dream about you. It was… really real. It’s like I could feel what you were feeling. Uh..-“

 So it did happen. 

It wasn't a dream. 

I didn't make it up. 

“That’s… odd.” I try to look reassuring.

The truth will spook him. Maybe it's best to ease him into it over the next few days. 

He won't know what's going on at first, I could easily pass it off as something else until I figure out what the fuck I'm going to tell him. 

“Ya.” He nods. “And… I’ve been kinda feeling run off like I do when I’m standing next to you and you’re really upset…. Only obviously we haven’t been in the same place.”

“Uh-“

“Like right now? You’re really stressing about something… but you don’t want to talk about it…. and also I can feel that you haven’t eaten yet????”

Fuck. That’s unmistakable.

God damn it.

I did it. Again.   
  
Probably in full.

“I’m sure you’ve just spent too much time around me.” I try to lie.

He shakes his head. “And… I’m not trying to blame you, of course, but I can kinda feel that you’re lying right now?” He sounds so lost.

“I’m… not lying.” I try.

“But you are.” He holds up a finger. “Right there- what you just said. I can feel it.”

………..

fuck.

This is impossible.

This can’t be possible.

“Johnny-“

“There’s something you need to tell me?” He finishes.

“Well…”

“And you’re really scared about how I’m going to take it.”

“Ah…”

“And it has something to do with that other guy that we don’t we talk about? And maybe a 'power cap'. ”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I did do the whole thing. 

"Last night.... something happened." 

"I see." He crosses his arms. 

Fuck. 

"Look- you should sit down." I offer him a chair, pulling it out for him. 

"I'm standing." He sounds shaky. "What happened last night?" 

"Well....." 

"Honest answers only." 

Fuck. he's got me in a hole now. I couldn't lie if I wanted to.   
And to protect him? To protect this relationship? I really want to. 

"My powers have a tendency to be..... unlimited." I wince as I say it. "They... grow." 

"They.. .grow." He repeats with a nod. "Okay." 

"When they get to a certain point... I've kinda been taught in the past to stop them. To stunt their growth, as it were." 

"With a power cap." He says with a nod. "Which is a person." 

"Right." I point to him. "A person. It goes a little further than that. The person gets a few... benefits from being my power cap." 

"Okay.... Like...?"

"Like.... a bond." I have to stammer my way through this. "A really close one." 

"Okay..." 

"My power cap and I share emotions. Memories. I can take emotions they don't want to feel themselves... they gain some power they didn't previously have... and they get..." I have to stop. 

"They get what?" He asks gently, finally taking a step forward. 

"They get me," I say, looking down. "They get me." 

"Like...."   
  
"Me," I repeat. "All of me." 

"Like..." he keeps prompting. 

"Like..." I have to pause. How to explain this?? 

"A marriage?" He tries. 

I shake my head. "No." 

"Like....  ane employee?" 

I shake my head again. 

"Like... a slave?" He asks gently. 

To that, I nod, barely. 

"A... slave." He puts a hand to his head. "Oh.. wow. Baby- that's terrible! Why would you do that?? Who made you do that?" 

Well... 

"That's a little more complicated." 

Him. The him you don't know about. 

My dreams. 

My.... 

"My nightmares...." I stop again. 

How the hell am I going to tell him this?   
  
Johnny takes a baby step forward. "About the man." He says. "I... saw one." 

 “Uh-“

"You dreamed last night. About the first time, you did this.... it's uh... kinda why I left so early. I've been out in the city... flying around a bit, trying to calm down." 

"You saw him." 

"He talked to you." 

I nod. 

"Does he... do that often?" 

Well.... 

"I don't know... how much of it is real. It may be residual parts of our bond left over. It may be him enlisting another person to help him." 

"I thought he was dead." 

I groan. "Logan said it was 'handled'. I'm not sure what he meant." 

"And I'm... he," He points to himself. "I'm your cap." 

"The term is actually 'dominant'." I offer a small smile. 

"Oh." he runs his finger through his disheveled hair. "Oh. Right. It's good to have the correct term. It makes it so much better to know that my boyfriend is now my metaphysical supernatural, whatever the fuck you want to call it, slave. I can't wait to tell people. Like oh, you got married? We're bonded together by some kind of freaky magic power shit that makes-" 

I could cry at how weak I feel right now. 

I feel him in my mind, the closer he gets.   
  
His fear. His panic. His... anger. 

"I know you're angry." I try to head it off. "I know- but please, please just listen." 

"Why would you do this? Daken- why? Why would you do this to me? To us? Did you not think of how bad this would make me feel? Did you not-"   
  
"My powers put me in great danger." I hiss. "When they're strong and growing, people seek me out to use me. I can sway thousands. I trust you. I guess I just.... made the connection without really thinking about it. I don't even remember doing it." 

"You're.. in danger?" he says much more softly. 

I nod. "It's happened before... when I was young. I was kidnapped." 

"He saved you." 

"I owe him that one act kindness, yes." 

"I.... you want me to save you?" 

"It's beneficial for you." I try. "You get so much out of it, and it really was an accident and-"   
  
"You're my slave. Becuase of an accident?" There goes his anger again. 

"Johnny-"   
  
"How do we break this?" He demands. 

"Johnny please," I beg. "Don't be angry. Please. I couldn't help it." 

"You.. couldn't help it?"   
  
His emotions are like fire in my mind. 

"You couldn't help it???" 

I wince. "You're hurting me," I whisper. 

He looks like he's been kicked in the gut. "I'm... Oh, baby." He's over to me in flash. "Baby," He kisses my forehead. He knew exactly where I was hurting without me having to say a word. 

He holds my hand to his lips and kisses it. “That was harsh. I can feel that that was too harsh…. Tell me, how did this go the other time you did it? What exactly did you do?”

I sigh, looking down at the table. “I… don’t remember?”

“You… don’t remember.”

“No.”  
He puts his hand to his head. “Daken, honey, I’m going to need you to think very hard.”

“I was eleven!” I snap.

“So the power fluxes.. and the nightmares... and the wave of emotions...." 

"My powers grow very slow at first and then very fast. I have maybe a week before someone else figures it out." 

"Fuck." He exhales. "If you didn't have me?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Would they find you if you didn't have me?" 

I nod.

"How many people have done this?" He asks. 

"In the past," I recall the scroll I once read, "It's been done by a few people." 

"Why only a few?" 

I glance into his worried face. "How did you feel last night?" 

He looks down. "You can tell if I lie?" 

I nod. 

"Powerful." He admits. "In charge. Unstoppable. I-"   
  
"You thought about hurting me." 

"I..' He freezes. "Baby it was for like maybe three seconds- I swear." 

"You're supposed to think about hurting me." I try to soothe his damaged feelings. "That's why people don't survive. Their dominants kill them either during or right after." 

I don't mention that it's not over. 

To finally seal our bond, I need his blood. I'm guessing I already gave him mine judging by how well it's working. 

I'll save that. 

He'll never know the true taste of this. I won't let it corrupt him. 

“Are you-“

“I’m not mad.” He finishes quickly. “I’m freaked out- but I’m not mad.” He walks in a circle around the kitchen tapping his finger to his lip. “Can you… feel me in your head?”

“Yes."

“Are you supposed to?”

“Yes.”

“.. what do you get out of this?”

I could swear that if I had shame, I’d be blushing. “… security? Saftey. A promise of protection.”

“Security.” He repeats.

“Yes.”

“You… pushed all of your psychological well-being onto me basically… for safety.”

"Not my entire 'psychological well-being'." I try to correct. "Just some of it. You don't control how I think. You have minor control over how I feel- minor. And.... my actions are ... sorta under your control." 

"Your..." he stops. "Your actions?" 

"Orders." It's like pulling teeth for me. "You can give me orders." 

"Why would you do this??" He repeats. "I don't want to own you Daken! That's not love. I don't want you doing everything I say! What if someone finds that out? What if they get ahold of me and make you do these awful things? What if they make you hurt yourself- or me? What if-" 

"I'm sorry!" I snap. "I'm sorry! I don't know how many times I can say it! I didn't mean to!

“Right.” He groans. “Right. So it was an accident…. What undoes it?”

That hurts a little… in an odd way. He… doesn’t want this with me? Why wouldn’t he? It has several advantages. I won’t have to tell him about these odd emotions anymore. He can…. why doesn’t he want this with me?

He freezes. “Daken… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was way too harsh.” He sighs and comes over to me. “Look… I love you. I do. I’m just freaking out a little bit at the whole ‘bonding’ thing. I mean… it’s a little much for… me. I mean- you were raised in it. You know what to do. I don’t know how to be someone’s dominant. I don’t want to dominate you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to keep you happy. And healthy. And this whole thing is fucking screaming “UNHEALTHY!”.”

“I’m... I’m sorry. But the other one ended… when Logan killed me.”

“Kill…” he stops and puts his hand other his mouth. “Death. It ends in death. Of course, it ends in death.”

I feel like I’m going to be sick. This could ruin us. I’ll be bonded to him and he’ll want nothing to do with me and-

“It’s okay.” He soothes. “Hey..” he locks eyes with me. “Calm down, it'll be okay. It's fine. Just an adjustment period." 

An utter feeling of contentment washes over me.

It must show because his expression completely changes. “Did you just-“

“What?”

“You calmed down.”

“…Yes?”

“That quickly?”

“..Yes?”

Johnny walks away before coming back. “That was freaky fast.”

“…And?”

“Did you do that because I told you to?”

“… Uh… yes.”

“Yes?” he sighs. “Yes. You did it because I ordered you to.”

“That goes away,” I say quickly. “It’s not always that strong.”

“Ah. good to know.” He sighs again. “How long?”

“Ah…. fifty years?”

“Fifty… years? It took fifty years?”

“Well… I mean it’s more emotion based. It doesn’t control how I think or really feel… it’s just my emotional state really. See? Not that… odd.”

“No- no. Very odd.” He corrects. “Very, very odd.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel like I need to go sob or something.

“Are you- honey you look like you’re about to cry.”

“You’re upset with me.” I growl.

“So???”

“I don’t know!? That’s just how it works!”

"You," He looks me up and down. "Sweetie... Daken... I mean." he stops. "Please don't cry. Please don't be upset. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to be cool headed. I really am." 

I exhale slowly. "That's all of it.  No nasty surprises." 

He frowns. "You just lied." 

Fuck. 

"What else is there?" 

I sigh. "The process... isn't done. You're not fully my dominant yet." 

"I... I'm not?" 

I shake my head. "I need your blood." 

He frowns. "How much?" 

"You're considering it?" 

"If I'm not your power cap- I don't like the word 'dominant'- will people still be able to sense you?" 

I nod. 

He frowns again. "How much blood?" 

"You would do that for me?" 

he smiles a little. "Of course. If it keeps you safe." 

"I thought you hated this." 

"I do." He says. "But I don't hate you. I want you to be safe. If my capping you means you'll stay safe- why wouldn't I do it?" 

"It only takes a little blood." I was given the bare minimum of Romulus's blood. He tore my throat out to get mine. 

I was so... scared. 

I don't remember much. 

But I remember being scared. 

I almost died.

Johnny bends down and picks up my hand. "Give me your claw." 

I extend the one at my wrist the smallest of fractions. 

Johnny hisses as he knicks himself on his right-hand finger. 

"Where do I put it?" He asks softly. 

"Anywhere." I can't believe he's doing this.   
  
I can't believe either of us is doing this.

He looks me over before leaning down lower and placing his bleeding forefinger to my chest. 

He pulls back like he's been zapped. "Ouch!" 

"That means it worked." I say quietly. 

A surge of emotion passes between us. I can feel how worried he is.... 

And I know he can feel how worried I am.   
  
It's a moment of complete understanding without a single word being passed. 

Usually, this is how I did my missions with Romulus. His orders were never given verbally. I just knew. 

That rush after I was done, the feeling he gave me- better than any praise I had ever received in my life. 

I wonder.... if Johnny will be able to do something similar. 

He looks at me with a look of kindness that I don't necessarily think I deserve. Not after this.  

"Daken," he says gently. "How long have you needed me to do this?" 

I sigh. "Since the nightmares started." 

"Were you ever going to tell me?" 

"No." 

"Can we call someone to get some tests on this? Figure out how it works?”

“And show them what a freak I am?" This is said softly. 

Johnny runs his hand through his hair again. “Baby- this is very freaky. You have to admit- it’s freaky. We’ll find a way through it, but we need help. If we don’t get help it’s probably going to drive me insane. I just can't be put in charge of another person.”

“…Okay.” I sigh. 

“Good. Good. Sanity is good.” he pulls out his phone and starts texting. After a few minutes, he looks over at me. “You should eat something.”

“…Why?”

“Because you’re starving. I can feel it.”

Right… he can feel when I’m in certain states. Pain and hunger are always really strong. It won’t hurt him, but he’s tuned into it none the less.

I try to make this easier on him by centering myself…. But it doesn’t seem to be working. Finally, I settle on just sitting down, eating, and doing nothing.

 "You like grapefruit a lot." He says randomly. "I didn't know that." 

I look down at the fruit in question on my plate. "Yea." I ponder. "I guess I do." 

"Is it just grapefruit? Do you like the juice too?" 

I nod. 

"Cool." He says. "That was actually pretty cool." 

I have to smile at him. 

"Do you like grapes?"  

I nod. "I guess." 

He goes to the fridge and pulls some out. "Can you eat some?" 

He offers me the small clear container of green grapes and I indulge him by popping one into my mouth. 

"Hmm." He smiles wide. "Not as much as the grapefruit." 

"Try it." I pass the container to him. 

He pops one in his mouth, and I focus. Feeling his mind turning. "You'd rather have something else." 

He smiles. "Bacon." 

"Of course." 

This is.... kind of interesting. Definitely not something Romulus sat around trying to figure out.

"I have some sausage in the refrigerator." I offer. "It's not bacon but..." 

"Ohhhh." He walks over to the fridge and pulls the meat out. Removing it from its casing and holding a link in his bare hand. 

By the time he walks back to the table, the meat is sizzling and the room smells delicious. 

"Oh yes." I laugh. "You like that much more than the fruit." 

"Oh yeah." He says with a full mouth. 

It brings a feeling of ease to the room. 

So much so that he sighs in almost contentment. "You're... relaxed?" He asks. 

"Relieved." I correct. 

"Ah." He frowns a little. "How long will it take for me to be able to tell exactly what you're feeling?" 

I shrug. 

He looks at his phone a few times. "Reed must still be sleeping." He mumbles. 

That brings a twinge of fear in me. 

What am I going to tell this man of science? 

How much 'metaphysical magic shit' does he know? 

"I won't let him make you a lab rat." Johnny says quietly. 

I exhale. "I know."  

"I'm going to need you to be honest with him."  

"I"ll be as honest as I can." I offer. "He probably won't believe us without a demonstration."  

"A... how would we do that?"  

I have to smirk. "I'll handle that."  

His phone buzzes several times before he picks it up.  “Reed is on his way… I’ll warn you, he’s more excited than he should be.”

“He's going to think I'm a freak.” I have fears that I have never faced before. My powers are going to be scrutinized. My actions are going to be observed.

Johnny’s gaze softens. “No one is going to think you’re a freak.” He soothes.

“You do.” It's got no bite behind it, but I feel like I ought to voice it. 

“No.” He soothes. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I think this is freaky, but that does not make you a freak…. It’s just an ability that got a little out of hand. That’s all.”

At least he gets to be the dominant…. He can leave. I’ll always feel this yearning for him. Not just because I love him- though that’s what prompts the bond in the first place- but because I’ve placed my entire well-being in his hands. 

"Johnny, if it's too much for you- You… can leave.” I offer. “I won’t make you stay if you’re-“

“No, no, no.” He shushes. “Oh no. Daken, no- no. Don’t think like that. Alright? I’m not going to go.”

“I need to lay down.” I’m tired. I need all of this to be put on hold for at least an hour.

“Me too.” He admits. He looks around the kitchen. “Come lay with me on the couch until Reed gets here.”

“…alright.”

I stand up and move into the living room. The only sound in the apartment is the air conditioning and the slight snoring of the dog that’s sleeping in its kennel.

“You… wearing anything under that blanket?” He questions with a raised eyebrow, gently giving it a tug.

“No.”

“Maybe you should put something on.”He smirks. 

But he doesn't make it an order. I wonder if he did that on purpose. 

“Later.”

“Uh… okay. You wanna flash Reed, I’m not going to stop you.”

He lays down first and then allows me to lay in front of him so that his chest is pressed against my back. He’s guarding and he doesn’t even realize it.

“You like it when we lay like this.” he states. “You like it because I’m protecting your back.”

“Right.”

“That’s a dominant thing.” He assesses.

“Yes.”

 He runs a hand over my shoulder and side. “Baby, I don’t want you to have to do this. I’m worried for you.”

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me.” I recall from the other night.

“Right…”

“So there’s no way I’ll be hurt.”

He sighs. “Daken-“ And he stops and kisses the side of my face. “I love you.”

“And?”

“And….” He drawls. “If you want me to be bonded with you, I accept that. But we’re going to have to set up some rules.”

“That’s usually how it works.”

He chuckles a little bit. “The first one being- I will not hurt you. I will not play hurt you. I will not seriously hurt you. I will NOT hurt you.”

“…alright.”

His hand is back to soothing. “The second one… you will come to me with your problems. If you don’t like something I’m doing- tell me. We’ll talk about it.”

I’m silent for a bit.

The coffee table in front of us has become extremely interesting.

“You don’t like that but it’s how it has to be.” He asserts. “We’ll set up a third party to determine whether I’m being unfair or not.”

“Okay…. And how do we explain this to said third party?”

“With a lot of stammering and some alcohol.” He teases.  
That draws a small laugh from me. “Okay.”

“Third rule- I don’t want you doing anything that screams ‘submissive’. Not in public, not in private- never…. Which means you’re going to have to tell me how submissives behave.”

“…. Johnny I can’t do that. I can’t explain it.”

“…. Okay. Well, then I’ll correct as I see fit.”

We lay still for a bit. I can hear his heart slowing into a more soothing rhythm than it has had so far this morning.

“Touching you is calming.” He observes.

“Yes.”

“You feel that too?”

I nod.

“Well… that’s weird. A nice little perk, though, I guess. You’re like a human… I don’t know. Stress ball? No! I got it. Like a cat. Cat’s calm people down.”

“…”

He winces behind me. “It’s probably not a good idea to be comparing you to animals- is it?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

He kisses me again. “Alright… tell me. Is this how it worked last time? Did he…calm you down like this? Am I doing what he did?”

I laugh so hard that I almost choke.

“What?”

“No.” I gasp. “No. This is completely different.”

“How so?”

I shrug. “He beat the shit out of me and then fucked me until I passed out.”

“… why?” He sounds horrified.

"He didn't have the control you did..... when he thought about hurting me- it wasn't for a 'second'. He put a lot of thought into it. He drew it out." 

"Why??" He asks again. "Why would he do that?" 

“Because he could.”

“But why??”

“Because I couldn’t stop him.” I lean back heavier onto Johnny’s chest.

He pauses. I can feel his question weighing down his tongue. “Wait. I thought you said you were eleven when this happened last.”

“I was.”

He sits in silence digesting the things I’ve said. It’s a lot to take in.

After a few minutes, he kisses the back of my head gently and asks, “Are you going to tell me about him… so I know what to do differently?”

I pause for a second, attention back on the coffee table. “If you make me.”

“I.. don’t want to ‘make’ you. I want you to do it on your own.”

“I don’t talk about him on my own.”

“Will you?” he pleads.

“I-“

Someone –Reed presumably- knocks on the door so hard it rattles.

“You’ll?”

The knocking persists.

“Johnny- the door.”

“You’ll?” He prompts.

“I’ll try.” I offer. “I’ll give you what you need to know.”

He smiles and nods. “Sit up.” He encourages, sliding out from behind me and rolling to his feet clumsily.

I gather the blanket and toy with the notion of getting dressed again. But I’m so comfortable. I don’t really-

“You… don’t look like yourself today Johnny.” Reed says from the door.

“I… uh dressed in a hurry.”

“You don’t match.”

“I’m aware.”

“Also, I’m pretty sure that shirt is backward.”

Johnny laughs uncomfortably. “Enough with the clothes- ‘kay? Come in.”

Reed smells like his lab. Clean and sterile.

“Daken.” He greets. “I hear you’ve done something very… interesting. Monumentally interesting.”

“Well…”

“And you did it on accident?”

“Ah-“

“And when you weren’t in the right state of mind.”

“…”

“Let him talk.” Johnny sighs. “You’re talking over him.”

“Ah…” he turns to Johnny. “You know that because-“

“Because I’m hearing you do it!” he snaps. “Daken, please explain what’s going on.”

“…no?”

“NO?” The say in unison.

“No.” I state more firmly.

This… needs a demonstration. They need to see. I can’t explain with words. Johnny needs to…

He raises an eyebrow at me . “Daken, please tell us what’s going on.”

“No.”

“Fine.” Johnny looks between Reed and me. “Daken, I’m ordering you to tell us what’s going on.”

Ah…. “I bonded with Johnny. It’s only ever happened once. He’s not in any pain and seems to be completely fine. Happy?”

“When you say bonded….”

I groan. “It’s similar to what some telepaths do."

"A power cap." He says. "Sue was talking about it last night. I  have a friend who was doing research on mutants who practiced-"   
  
"It goes beyond that." I interrupt. "It's more of a ... master/slave kind of bond." 

"Oh." Reed opens his mouth and then shuts it. 

"Can we go back to calling it 'dominant and submissive'?" Johnny asks into the quiet. "Master/slave makes my skin crawl." 

"I agree." Reed says with a nod. "So Johnny... is your dominant?" 

I nod. 

"And you're his submissive?" 

I nod again. 

"And you can share emotions?"   
  
Again I nod. 

I'm glad Johnny's already laid the metaphorical ground work. 

"And do you now of anyone else who's ever done this sort of bonding? Besides yourself, of course." 

" I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone else who could do it. I’ve heard of them- when I did the first time, it was an experiment to see if I could because of someone else who was known to have done it.”

“…What happened to that person?”

Sighing doesn’t cover this noise. “I’d rather not say.”

“Daken, please.” Johnny encourages.

“Can they heal? Are they still around? Can we read up on this?”

“Yes, no, and no.”

“If they can heal… why aren’t they around?”

I stare at them. “They angered my dominant when they said they wouldn’t teach me so he ripped them in half and buried the pieces under about sixteen feet of concrete…. They’re not coming back from that.”

“…”

“What? You wanted to know.” I roll my eye.

“So.. no one taught you?”

“No.”

“You just… did it yourself?” Reed asks in an impressed fashion. "At that young age?" 

“I had a great motivation.” I say quietly. 

Johnny holds a hand up to stop Reed’s oncoming question. “No one taught you… but they taught you to control your emotions so you wouldn’t have the problem.”

“Control? No. They brainwashed me.”

“They- what?” He sounds so shocked.

“My Master- my dominant- had telepaths. They made me ... I mean they gave me a code. And then they set traps to where other telepaths can’t get in my head- there’s too much damage.” Wait- “Actually no, a few can. Professor Xavier did when there was that deal with Logan.”

They look at each other curiously.

“What?”

“Has anyone tried-“Reed starts.

“No.” I growl.

This I won't entertain. 

He won't know.   
He will never know. 

Imagine the look of pity and 'concern' on his face when he realizes that Romulus and I had this sort of connection. That look when he realizes that I was not always in control of my emotions.  

That look when he figures out that maybe some of my hatred for him came directly from that. 

No thank you. 

“Maybe he would know-“Reed tries.

“No!”

“Why not?” Johnny asks gently.

“Because.”

“Because why?” Reed asks in his own version of 'gentle'. 

“It’s weird, okay!? It’s weird. I don’t want him involved. God only knows what he’s doing since he got topside.”

“Topside?” The scientist doesn't quit. 

“Reincarnated. Rebirthed. Resurrected. Healed.” I ramble. “Pick one.”

“Does he know anything that’s gone on with you?” Johnny asks gently.

“He knows more than he should.” I grouse.

“Because-“

“Fucking Laura.” I growl. “She talks to him. I don’t- she does. Occasionally they talk about me. I don’t ask details because I don’t care.”

Reed nods here and there. “But… he’s older than you. Maybe he has better contact-“

“I don’t want his contacts!!”

“Daken,” Johnny says firmly, “if you’re not going to be helpful, I’m going to make you be. That’s how this works- right?”

“Johnny-“

“Right?”

“Right.” I sigh. 

“Good. Now, where was his last known location?”

“Not telling.” I turn my head away from them.

Consider this demonstration part two. 

I look at Johnny, and he raises his eyebrow.   
  
A feeling of understanding shifts through our bond. 

“Daken.”

“I’m not telling you!”

The table. Look at the table. Don’t look at him. Don’t-

There’s motion in front me as he bends down. “Where?”

We’re inches apart… and there’s just something about his eyes… like Master’s. That look. That…

“I don’t know.” I breathe. “Laura does.”

“Good.” Reed nods. “We can get her input and possibly-“

“If you bring him to my house I will move.” I threaten.

“You won’t.” Reed says with a glint in his eye. “You’ll want to stay with Johnny- won’t you?"

“Uh- I… I mean-“

“Reed stop.” Johnny says firmly.

“This needs testing.” The man insists. “Johnny can control your emotional state- correct?”

“Johnny,” I plead.

“Don’t worry.” He assures. “Calm down, I got this.”

Things get calm again.

“Ah.” Reed nods.

Wait… what?

Johnny’s eyes are wide. “No, no. I didn’t mean that as an order!” he turns to me “Daken, that wasn’t an order.” He says quickly. “You understand that right? I wasn’t purposefully telling you how to feel.”

I… want Reed gone. I want it more than anything.

“I think you should go.” I say to the man.

“Well, Johnny thinks I should stay.”

“I don’t care!” I snap. “I’m not going to be made a lab rat in my own home!”

“Hey,” Johnny sits on the couch beside me and puts an arm around me. “No one is going to make you be a lab rat. We’re just… testing it.”

That peaceful feeling is coming back in waves. Like a monsoon. Tidal waves.

“Is he… alright?”

“We calm each other down when we touch?” Johnny offers.

“Ah… okay?”

The man shrugs. “I think… I could get him to sleep like this if I wanted.”

“Could you… test it?”

“No.” I growl. “He cannot.”

“Easy.” Johnny shoots a look at Reed. “He’s not happy with you. Don’t push your luck.”

The calm is back again. I let it flow through me. I mean- I don’t really have a choice in the matter. He’s here, he’s touching me, he wants it… what choice do I have? I’ve bonded myself to him. Who knows how strong this one is? It took years for me to be able to openly disagree with a master. Years.

Years of me pining for his approval. Look what I’ve done. I’ve done this for you. I love you. Please love me back. Please care for me.

It’s pathetic.

“You’re thinking about him.” Johnny says soothingly. “Let’s not right now- okay? Think of something else.”

“Are you going to call him?”

“Which him? We’ve really gotta start using names here.”

“You know which him.”

Johnny sighs. “Maybe.”

“Are you going to try to undo it?”

He shakes his head. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, let’s just figure out a way to work with it.”

"I can dig up those articles on power caps- though I know it's not exactly what's going on here, it seems to have at least some similarities." 

I exhale slowly. "Thank you." 

Reed nods. "We're going to have to run some tests." He says. "I'm sure you understand." 

I shakily nod my head. 

"And you'll need to tell us exactly what the last bond entailed." He continues. 

Johnny adds in, "Yea. I'm all for that one." 

That brings a well of panic to my mind. 

"Baby," Johnny soothes, "What's wrong?" 

“Don’t… don’t do what he did. I can’t live with it if you do.”

Johnny nods a little. “Honey, I don’t know how he acted. You won’t tell me. You won’t tell anyone.”

“…”

“I know that look.” He ponders. “You don’t tell anyone… or you won’t. I’ve tried to get you to and you won’t tell anyone anything… unless that look is because you have already. Does someone know more than me on this? Is there-“ he stops. “Laura.”

“No!”

“Yes. You tell her things. Things you don’t tell anyone. You’re my secret keeper… and she’s yours.”

“She doesn’t know.” I stammer. "I didn't tell her on purpose!" 

“She knows more than we do.” Reed mumbles. 

“Please- don’t. Don’t pry.” I beg Johnny. 

He kisses me gently on the side of the head. “If I’m going to do this- I’m going to do it right. If I’m going to do it right then I need to learn how it can be done wrong.”

“There are things you don’t need to know.” I beg. I can think of about twenty off the top of my head. Things that would make him cringe. Things that would make him not want to see me. Things that would make him afraid to touch me. Things that would make him pity me so greatly that he would never see me as anything other than a victim ever again. 

“And she did?” He asks quietly. 

“I was drugged!” I try. “She was in my hospital room. I’m not sure if she even remembers.”

“I’ll bet she does.” He soothes. “Let me talk to her baby. Please? Let me talk to her. If you need me to do this, let me do it right. Let me do it so that you don’t get hurt.”

He can’t. This is too much. He…

“Alright.”

Johnny nods. “Okay. I’m going to go call her. You wait right here.”

“Don’t… do it with me in the room.”

He looks at me for a second. “I’ll go outside in the hall.”

“To the end of it?” I offer. “Please.”

“Of course.” He squeezes my shoulder and stands up. “Stay right here.”

Something important is on the other end of that phone call. Something that will send him digging.

Do… do I want him to?

Have I really held these secrets for too long?

Is there a point of keeping a dead man’s secrets?

Any bond that I might have still had is gone now. I’ve killed it with the new one. I know enough to know that you can’t have two dominants at the same time.

Why him, though? I love him- that’s true. But why dominant? Why did my powers make me the submissive?

And where the fuck does the old man tie into this? What if they go digging him up?

What am I supposed to do? Sit there and smile and act civil because I have no options?

There are a lot of questions. A lot. A shit ton.

Maybe he’ll find the answers. Maybe- just maybe- it won’t kill me in the process. Maybe I’m over reacting.

I hope… his cell phone dies. Just cuts off. That he hasn’t paid the bill. That he gets bad service. That she doesn’t answer in the first place.

But… that’s not how this works. It’s never how this works. I made this bond. I made it. I made it strong. It’s always strong.

“I’m going to go lay down.” I mutter to the man still staring at me.

“Alright.”

“Please don’t bother me.”

He nods. “I wouldn’t dream of it. I understand if you need your space.”

Yea… a nosey scientist dealing with something that’s been done so rarely that there are no physical records of it…. he’ll leave that alone.

The bed isn’t as comfy as it was and I’m not near as calm. But it’s warm.

I can lay here for an hour or two wishing evil things onto all the cell phone service providers…. I mean there’s not much else I can do. Everything now pends on how Johnny digs. How much information he can manage to find.

I’ll not stop him. I can’t.

But I won’t make it easy.

I’ll hide things.

I’ll sabotage in ways that he doesn’t know. I’ll go back to all my-

“You’re so tense.” He says from the doorway. “Rigid even.”

“I thought-“

He shakes his head. “She said it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have on the phone.”

“Oh.”

Johnny smiles. “Want me to rub your back?”

“Do you want to?”

He nods. “Yea. It’ll help.”

“You know that huh?”

“My mom used to do it. It’s one of the memories I have of her.”

“… Fine.”

He sinks to the bed behind me. “Relax, okay? I’m going to do all of this in a way that you don’t know what’s going on. I won’t tell you when I’m going to meet her and I won’t tell you that’s she told me anything unless it’s absolutely necessary. You won’t know.”

“…That makes it so much better.”

He chuckles. “You’re going to be happy. I promise.”

“… Really?”

“Really.” His hand makes a smoothing motion down my back. “Heh.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” It moves a little lower and he starts to hum to himself.

“What?”

“It’s just… you’re still naked.”

“And? I’m almost always naked in bed.”

“I know. It’s one of the perks of staying over here.”

“… You can’t possibly be horny.”

“You’re not?” He questions with a raised eyebrow, reaching a hand around and grazing my dick. “You feel a little horny.”

“When are you meeting her?”

He shakes his head. “Not telling you.”

“Well, do you at least have… an hour you could spare?”

He whistles. “For you, I’d spare three or four.”

“Just one is fine.”

“Heh. We’ll see how you feel about that later.”

I chuckle a little. “Send Reed away.”

He kisses my shoulder. “Yes, sir.”  
Eh. Perks. He’s going to enjoy the hell out of this. It’s better when you’re bonded. Plus…. It’s not that bad for me, either.


	8. Computers, sexts, and  a lecture about consent and assault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken breaks his lap top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda long, kinda heavy, and a bit of tease.  
> Thanks for reading!

It's been three days since Daken's little.... 'mishap'. 

The whole 'put Johnny in charge of everything' mishap. 

Things aren't exactly normal- like will the ever be normal again, though?- but they've definitely calmed down. 

He's accepted his role with all the grace I would expect from him. 

I"ve flopped around pretty much like a fish on land trying to figure out what to do. 

He gently pushes small emotions to put me on the right track. Mainly in front of other people. Daken doesn't want anyone to use this as a weakness. So he's actually doing a good majority of the work. As long as I keep my mouth shut and try not to answer any questions wrong- people could actually assume that we had a handle on this. 

“Soooo… leather and whips or… what?” Comes a grumble from across the large table. 

I spit coffee onto the white surface. “What?”

Ben doesn’t look up from his paper. “What? You doin’ this whole ‘dominatrix’ thing with Wolvie junior. Leather and whips or what? How’s it go?” he pauses.

“Ah- that’s really not what this is. I mean…” I stammer a bit. “Shut up, Ben.”

“Hey, I’m just making conversation.” he smiles his odd smile. His 'giving Johnny shit' smile. 

“It’s not your business.” I think back over his statement. “Wait a second- I’m not a ‘dominatrix’!”

“So you don’t an unhealthy amount of control over your little boy toy?”

Dammit Reed.

I specifically asked him not to talk about this to anyone. Let alone Ben… who I knew will blow it way out of proportion.

Yet another wonderful fail on my brother in laws behalf.

“I wouldn’t say ‘unhealthy’. He’s fine. He just used his mutant powers to bind us together in a semi-dominant/ submissive relationship. It’s nothing weird.”

Though the sex… god. That can be seen as ‘weird’…. Weird in all the right ways though. I’ve done so many things I didn’t think possible. He’s sooooooooo extremely… flexible. In every sense of the word. If I bring it up- he’ll do it. I’ve asked him to tell me if he’s uncomfortable… and he just… isn’t. Not with anything. He’s on top of me letting me fuck him, he’s on bottom, he's on his side, upside down, against a wall- I can have him literally anyway I want him and he says nothing.

I’ve actually laid off on the sex for that very reason. I can feel in my head that it’s something he wants to do… I just don’t think I’m doing it like he wants all the time. He’s got a habit of not telling me things unless I make him.

“So… he… what? Gets off on you telling him what to do?”

“Why are you so obsessed with this??” I demand, looking up from my bowl of cold (because I’ve been lost in thought) soup.

I stick a finger in the bowl and warm it up again. All fire jokes aside, I really hate cold food.

“It’s the new gossip,” he says innocently. “One of us, the good guys, has complete control over one of the baddies. It’s interesting.”

“He’s not a ‘baddie’.” I grouse.

Ben chuckles that deep gravelly laugh. “Oh really.”

“Well… I mean he’s not as bad as he used to be. It’s been almost a year since he murdered or overthrew any governments. I think he’s doing quite well.”

“We’re all perfect angels if you go by those standards,” Ben says in a somewhat more serious tone. 

“He’s trying.” I growl.

To that the rocky man in front of me nods. “I’ll give you that.”

We’re quiet or a second before he inhales to ask another question.

“I’m not going to answer if it’s about sex or domination.” I cut in.

“This one’s serious.” he puts down his paper, blue eyes locking onto mine. “Can you… ‘feel’ him? From here. Reed said you could. Like get in his head and stuff…. You can feel what he’s feeling.”

Well… “Yea. I can.”

“Like right now?”

“Yea.”

“…So?”

“So what?”

“Prove it.”

That makes me laugh. “You want me.. to prove it.”

“Yea.”

“How?”

“I dunno. What’s he feeling?”

I think about it.

Frustration and panic. Much better than the blind anger that was about thirty minutes ago.  
“He’s… doing something. Something frustrating. Kinda stressing over it.” I close my eyes and focus. I can almost see him. I think that's the weirdest part. If I put too much effort into it, it's like I get a picture in the back of my head. "I think he's broken something." I frown. "Yea."

The man chuckles. “So you can spy on him- just like that.”

“Eh-“

“Ya that’s not ‘weird’ at all.” The paper goes back up. Communication over… unless it’s about sports. And I’ve fallen behind in that category as of late. “Tell me how that one works out kiddo.”

Weird is an understatement here.

We have had a few little mishaps. Mainly the fact that if he’s doing something in private… like the things guys do in private…. I kinda get a show.

Not that I mind exactly, but his sex drive is a lot higher than mine. I'm not always in private when it happens and I 'like it' a little too much for it to happen in public. 

This is also how I know he’s not fucking eating like he should and that drives me crazy.

I swear that today, I’m going over there with groceries so he doesn’t have anymore excuses.

The hunger and the nightmares are what gets me. Everything else can almost be seen as comical.

Our text messages went from the mundane to  
‘please stop whatever it is you’re doing. It’s making you angry and it’s giving me a head ache.’

Or

‘fucking eat already!’

That one gets sent about three times a day. I get this gnawing feeling in the back of my head… I can only imagine what it feels like for him.

Speaking of him, my phone buzzes.

‘I need to talk to you.’ Abrupt. To the point. He… needs something. I can feel it- hence the panic from earlier. He’s about to ask for something and he’s just the tiniest bit embarrassed by it.

Now the question is -what did he break? 

“That him? Asking about-“

“If you say ‘whips’ one more time….” I growl.

“I was gonna say our ‘mission’.” The man smirks. “You’ve told him- right?”

“Eh…” The mission. Oh god the mission. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do about the damn mission.

He’s fine with us being a little bit apart… sure. But I haven’t tested leaving the city yet. Let alone the state…. And oh say… the atmosphere? How’s he going to take that? He can’t come. With his powers malfunctioning we could end up with a massive swarm of rage filled monsters…. Or an orgy. It’s always a toss between the two. I don’t know which is worst, aliens tearing each other apart… or aliens tearing each other's clothes apart. And of course, he’d be in the middle of it. Which means I’d be in the middle of it… and I don’t want to go into a pheromone-fueled fuck fest in front of members of the superhero community. Like yes- this is Wolverine’s son. And just look at how flexible he is….

No. No, he can’t come. He’ll have to stay here.

Maybe I can call Laura and have her go stay with him… just until we know how this is going to work.

I mean he was apart from the ‘other guy’… right? He did missions for him. They couldn’t be in the same place all of the time.

God.

On another note- talking about the other man, who while being dead is becoming a major part of our relationship, I found out that he calls him ‘master’.  Or called him- I guess. Which is why he referred to me as 'Master' the other night. Back when this bonding happened. 

It’s not sexy.

I’ve tried to think of situations where it might be and it’s not.

And now I’m going to space. And now he’s going to be on his own. And now… god. Just god. I wish this hadn’t happened. I mean the closeness is a perk. The sex, god the sex, is a perk. Knowing what’s going on his head makes me feel like a telepath. It has its cool moments.

But him… he’s not healthy. I’m trying to make him… but I know next to nothing about this.

“You okay?”

Out loud I swallow. “Ya. Just thinking. I uh… haven’t told him about the mission yet.”

“Maybe… you should do that.”

“I’m waiting for the right time.”

Ben chuckles. “Make sure that ‘time’ isn’t going to be launch day.”

 To Daken, aside from all these worries, I type. ‘what’s up?” Very cool. No space business here. Just a normal day.

Immediate response ‘I need money.’

Pause. ‘…okay?’

I look around the kitchen for something interesting to distract myself with. He’s going to be begging for something. Always something. “I want’ or ‘can I have?’. He wants a fucking sword- on a list of things that are completely random. Why the fuck would someone with built in weapons want another weapon??? The sword I’m considering. He asked so sweetly and he wants it so badly….

Plus he kinda made me an offer that I already accepted.

I didn’t know at the time that he used to trade sex for favors. It wasn’t until after we were done that I found out that he’d been bargaining with his body.

Not even in the cute coupley kinda way. More so in the way that prostitutes do. Which really made me question some of what the other guy used him for.

And of course I’m in charge of the final say on his possessions. I get a say in what he can and can’t have. So we’re still on the fence about the sword. Or at least I’m pretending to be. I’ve already started pricing them for him. We want to reasonable- right? It’s his money after all. I really don’t feel right spending great amounts of it.

The kitchen- for the record, is completely dull. Even with the scorch marks from someone’s (probably the kids, on Reed’s watch no doubt) last ‘adventure’. I wonder where all of those in question are today. I’ve only seen Ben this morning.

‘…well?’

‘well what?’

‘ ‘well’ can I have the money?’

‘what?’

My face must show my confusion because Ben laughs. “Your face is fuckin’ priceless…. I’m guessing-”

“Don’t say it.” I growl.

“I’m guessing-“

“Ben, I’m serious.”

“…Whips.”

I flick a small fire ball at his stony surface. It does nothing but get a laugh from him and slightly singe the paper he’s holding.

‘money. I need money.’

‘what for?’

Right, right. I have the money now. That’s something that’s ‘my problem’.

‘… I broke the laptop.’

‘……’

I knew it. He broke something. 

The laptop, though? I hope he had everything backed up. 

‘well…. money?’

‘how’d you break it.’

‘it’s not as resistant as we thought.’ He replies after a few minutes of silence.

‘resistant to what?’

Embarrassment shifts through our connection.

…this ought to be good.

‘…. Sharp objects.’

That makes me chuckle. ‘did said objects happen to be attached to your person?’

‘maybe.’

‘so you got mad and clawed the computer.’

‘no!’ followed by an immediate. ‘I’m not a child. I wouldn’t throw a fit and break my things.’

‘I felt you get mad. You got mad and broke your computer and now you want to just go buy a new one.’

There’s a long stretch of silence. Thanks to the magic of iPhones I can see that he’s read and is replying… and thanks to the magic of – well Daken,- I can feel his frustration mounting.‘…and?’

‘and if you want things, you shouldn’t break them.’  
There’s a good minute of silence.

‘money?’

‘maybe.’

Immediate. ‘what do you mean ‘maybe’??’

‘my call- right? Maybe.’

‘Johnny, be reasonable.’

‘I’m not the one who fucking stabbed a computer. Lol.’

‘lol? What part of this is funny to you??’

‘the part where I can feel how frustrated you are with me.’

‘this is a necessity!’

‘that you’ll have to go without for the time being. I’m not coming over to give you cash.’

‘Johnny!’

‘ you’re just bored. You want something to do? Walk the dog. Watch Tv… or did you stab that too?’

‘I hate you.’

‘I know that’s not true.’

I put the phone down, realizing that I’m smiling.

“What’s so funny match stick?”

“I pissed him off. And I can feel it. It’s kinda funny.”

I don't mean to make him angry. But I don't know how else to act. I'm not doing it to be mean- I'm just acting like... well me. I hope he isn't comparing it to the other guy. I really do. I'm trying to be funny. I'm sure he would have done it to be mean. 

Buzz

‘I’ll give you something.’

A new emotion shifts through the line. Hope. He's hopeful about what he's about to do. 

‘lol. Getting desperate are we? Must have been something really interesting on that screen.’

‘it’s something you want.’

‘I’ll bet.’ The chair I'm in is uncomfortable. I wish I was sitting in the living room. I didn't mean to spend all morning sitting at this table. It just sorta... well.... originally Daken and I were running tests. We've run 'tests' in every room of our homes. Judging positions via cellphones. I send a feeling, he records how long it takes to register. From this spot in the kitchen, there's a delay of about five seconds. The highest delay we've recorded. If that's the highest, then this bond is hella strong. He's ten minutes away right now. Pretty much on the other side of the city. 

‘I need you to come over.’

‘nope.’

‘please.’

‘nope.’ Oh god. That hopeful feeling has definitely shifted. I follow this with, ‘you know I can feel that- right?’

‘oh?’

‘yes. it’s not going to work.’

‘mmm. we can do what we did yesterday.’

What we did yesterday should be outlawed. God. I’m not sure how the fuck he… well fucked like that. I’m pretty sure he has a pocket version of the Karma Sutra.

‘feels like you already are.’

‘come join me?’

‘I’m actually eating lunch right now. with company. so stop with the sexy time for a bit- ‘kay?’

‘ I could send pictures.’

‘I’m going to have to insist that you don’t. family dinner table. with company.’

‘go to your room?’

‘I thought you wanted me to come over?’

‘I thought you weren’t coming over.’

‘I’m not.’

‘aren’t you?”

‘no. no. and furthermore your not whoring yourself out for money.’

‘is it really ‘whoring’?’ We've had this discussion three times. He knows my opinion and he keeps pushing. 

‘yes.’

‘you never seem to mind.’

‘haha. Let me derail this little train of thought- I’m not going to sext you at my table.’

‘I’m wounded.’

‘you’re bored.’

‘which I wouldn’t’ be if you would give me money for a new computer.’

‘nope. The more you press it the more firmly I’m going to say ‘no’. you’ve got to behave. Be a good boy for once.’

‘that’s not what you said yesterday.’

‘oh haha. Get your mind out of the bed room. It’s not happening.’

There’s another shift in emotion. I can feel it get heavier over this invisible wire- that’s how I like to think of it- that links our minds together.

‘… you feel that?’

‘…yes. has someone found their materials?’

‘materials?’

‘you know what I mean.’

‘why don’t you come help me use them?’

‘so I’ll be more generous and give you the lap top money? I don’t think so.’

‘then I’ll just keep texting you.’

‘you do that.’

‘come over.’

‘that’s your next line? Weak. try again.’

‘please come over. I need you.’

‘oh I’m sure.’

‘come over and make me scream.’

Uh…… okay. The emotion shifts and I start to get a little less comfortable in my pants.

‘no… no. my little nympho. I’m staying here. If you’re so hell bent on fucking, use your other boyfriend.’

‘…really?’

‘what? I don’t mind. little guy takes the edge off and keeps you from dry humping me.’

‘it’s not the same.’

‘oh I’m sure. nothing can top my primal presence.’

‘exactly.’

‘clean up when you’re done.’ I tease. ‘change the sheets.’

Because truth be told, the way he’s been lately, he’ll probably go for a good two hours. Yesterday I had to take hydration breaks. Something about the bonding has made his sex drive jump through the fucking roof.  
‘I’ve got that one you like.’

Eh… there is a toy a like to use on him- that’s true. Just because it makes him twitch and I find that funny. Plus it has a remote. Remotes are fun.

‘oh? then enjoy.’

‘don’t you wanna come play with me?’

I look up from the screen and see that Ben is no longer alone. Sue’s sat down with a sandwich and a magazine of some sort.

‘not right now.’

‘mmm. feels so good. come play with me.’

‘Daken, play quietly- mkay? I’m eating.’

‘are you trying to talk to me like I’m child?”

‘are you acting like a child?’

‘I hope not.’

‘play quietly. you wanna fuck- do so. I’ll come by later and see what to do about the computer.’

‘and if I don’t?’

‘if you don’t what?’

‘ ‘play quietly’.’ Break and then another text. ‘what will you do?’

‘I feel like you’re trying to get me to say ‘spank you’ but that would play into the sexting thing which I’ve already said we’re not doing.’

‘even if I refuse to behave?’

‘do… you want me to spank you?’ I ask honestly.

‘do you want to?’

‘you just want me to come over there.’

‘but I’ve been so misbehaved.’

I can get down with a little bit of spanking. There’s something slightly erotic there, I agree. And I think he knows that.

‘not working, Daken. Try something else.’

‘I think it is working.’

‘you’re wrong.’

‘I think it’s working very well. I think your cock is so hard right now that it’s uncomfortable. I think you’re thinking about it very much.’

I look up and Sue is staring at me. “Everything alright?”

“He’s texting lover boy,” Ben grumbles. 

“You looked flushed. Has something happened?” She looks at me with concern and I’m torn. I’m kinda sporting wood at this point and I don’t want either of them to see… so I’m stuck here.

“I’m fine.” I smile. “He’s just having some computer trouble. Texting me about money.”

“How does that work?” she asks curiously.

“What- the money thing?” I chuckle. “He just gave it to me. Lots and lots of money, and he just handed it over.”

“Wow.”

“Yea.”

Buzz.

‘I think you really need to come over here.’

‘Daken, please. I’m having a conversation.’

‘ I found something you’ll like.’

That is somewhat tempting. But I’ve seen his ‘collection’. There’s nothing in there that would shock me.

‘unless it’s a way out of this conversation- I’m not interested.’

‘don’t you want me?’ There's a feeling of something I can't place through the connection. Sadness? Is he sad that I'm rejecting him? 

I sigh out loud before remembering that I probably shouldn’t do that. ‘of course I want you.’

‘don’t you want to force me down and take me?’

‘ah… maybe. or maybe something softer this time?’

‘oh?’

‘ya. maybe ease you up to it- ya know? work you over for a bit… do that thing you like with my finger.’

Wait.

“fuck it Daken, we’re not doing this. I said no sexting.’

‘and yet I did…. so I’ve misbehaved. now you have to come and deal with me.’

‘what do you mean ‘deal with you’?’

‘come make me pay for it. I’ll be very, very, sorry.’

‘no. no ‘paying for it’. just stop- okay?’

He’s quiet for a second and I can feel an amount of panic over our connection.

‘order?’

‘nah.’ I soothe. ‘just a polite request.’

‘come over?’ That’s not a sexy feeling anymore. Or even a playful one. There was a flash of true panic… which confuses me. He made this bond… but every time I go to actually use it, he completely freaks out like I’m about to take an ax to him or something. God. I need another talk with Laura. She’s explaining things in a slow need to know kind of pace.

So far we’ve covered that he’s going to give me financial control- which he did. That he’s going to base his entire schedule around mine…. Which I thought he wouldn’t do but then found out through some digging that he already did.

The biggest shocker is that he’s not just been doing it since we bonded. He’s been subconsciously doing it since we got serious. Methodically over the last four months.  
When he handed over his money, it took very little time to get it all put under my control. He did it legally.

I’m sitting with this complete stranger trying to explain why he’s just giving me complete and total control of his cash. Which… was a lot. Cash, bonds, stocks- he had a LOT of money. Laura said I was supposed to dole it out as I see fit…. That he doesn’t have a say in it anymore. Hence him asking about the computer.

I give myself a little credit. If he was as scared of me as he was the previous guy (which still hasn’t been named. I’d make a joke about it and call him something ridiculous…. If I hadn’t seen him in Daken’s dreams. He looks terrifying. Daken was legitimacy terrified of him) anyway, if he was as scared of me as he was him- he wouldn’t have asked twice about the computer. And he wouldn’t have pestered me.

He may have still tried to offer sex in return… but not in this playful manner.

Progress. This is what progress looks like.

‘…fine.’

I look around the table. “If you’ll excuse me…” I drawl. “I gotta go see about this computer thing.”

They don’t really say anything in parting, though they do exchange an odd look.

“So… is he a dominatrix or not? No one’s answered.” I hear Ben ask as I’m leaving.

I pause with a wince.

“No. A dominatrix is a woman who dominates someone… usually for sexual reasons.”

Ben laughs. “I’m gonna call him that anyway. Seems to rile him up.”

God. With that in mind, I find my way down to the garage where my own personal collection awaits me.

I.E. cars. I love cars. I’m good at working on them and I like the way they run.

I pick the SUV that Daken seems to like. No clue why. He just does.

Putting the key in the ignition brings a smile to my face. The engine roars pleasantly. A little louder than an SUV should- but hey… who’s going to stop me and check under the hood? If anything I can say it’s super hero related and they’ll back the fuck off.

The drive over is comfortable. Windows down, music up… the phone is quiet the whole way. He knows I’m on my way and he’s completely comfortable with it.

I can feel it. It feels like he’s slowed down. I can picture him stretching out somewhere and waiting.

 I unlock his door and find him on the couch, looking up like he was expecting me- like I knew he would be.

“Well?”

He smiles. “Well?”

“You wanna show me what you’ve done?” I encourage, motioning around his apartment.

“Which ‘what I’ve done’? I’ve done several today.” He smiles pleasantly.

I sigh. “Let’s start with the computer.”

He motions vaguely to the chair… where indeed there is a very expensive Mac book sitting open with two holes punched, very neat and precisely, through the screen and back.

“Well…”

“My wifi went down.”

“Ah.”

He nods before stretching his arm and leaning back against the couch. “Come lay with me?”

I sigh. “No, because it turns into an all day event. And… why aren’t you dressed?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Why are you?”

I stare at him for a long minute. The emotion shifted. It wasn't sexy when I left the Baxter Building. Why is he sexy now?  “Because I don’t make a habit of lounging around naked. You know that like three other people have keys to your apartment- right? What if one of them walks in and you’re just laying here naked?”

“Then they’ll get a very good surprise I suppose.” He stretches his arm again and lays back.

“Daken…”

He looks at me imploringly. Orders. He thinks this is going to be an order.

It’s not. It’s general frustration.

“You know Laura is one of those three people. Do you really want her to see you naked?”

“… She doesn’t care.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.” he shrugs.

“…Really?”

He nods. “You… don’t know a thing about her, do you?”

“And you do?” I grouse.

“I know several.”

“Like…?”

“Like that nudity doesn’t bother her. She was a baby hooker.”

Wow. That was fucking blunt as hell.

“…A- what?”

“A prostitute.”

“Really?” Fuck that’s messed up.

“Really. Nudity doesn’t bother her.”

“Okay…” That’s besides the point. “Okay. Wow. That’s heavy information.”

He shrugs again.

“Why… why are you naked again?”

“I was going to fuck you.” he says innocently.

“Oh. From the sound of that last text, I didn’t think you wanted to anymore.”

“I want what you want.” he says dismissively.

“No,” I correct, “Daken, no. You want what You want. Not what I want. If YOU don’t want to have sex then YOU don’t have to. YOU can say ‘no’. Got it?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Are you giving me a lesson in consent?”

“…Possibly.” I sigh. “I don’t really think you understand it that well.”

“Oh really now?” he chuckles.

“Really.” I press. “I think you have been forced to do things you didn’t want to and that now you don’t really have the ability to say when you don’t want something.”

“Bullshit.” He sneers.

“You don’t like it when people grab your hair during sex.” I state smartly. “You didn’t say anything to me at all. You know how I know? Laura told me. You told her. I did something you didn’t like and you said nothing.”

“That’s nothing.” he growls.

“You don’t like shower sex.” I continue. “Again, something YOU let me do.”

“What- now you’re implying that you’ve been what- raping me?” he chuckles. “You can’t rape the willing Johnny.”

“Consent is complicated.” I try again. “If you say ‘yes’ originally it does not mean ‘yes’ to everything. If I do something you don’t like, you can still say ‘no’.”

God I feel like an after school special.

He rolls his eye. “This is getting very tiresome Johnny.”

“Ya, well get used to it. From now on, you’re not getting any until I know it’s what you want, how you want it.”

“…What?” His voice is deadly quiet.

“You heard me.” It takes a lot not to stutter.

“You’re denying me because you think I’m not really consenting?”

“…Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I only want you when you want me 100%. Got it?”

He pauses. “Not really?”

“I can feel through our connection when I’m doing something you don’t like. I don’t want to feel that anymore. If we’re fucking, you’re going to tell me what you do and don’t like. You’ll tell me what your limits are. I don’t want to find them out through our bond.”

“I don’t have any limits!” he presses.

I hold up two fingers. “Hair pulling and shower sex. Two limits.”

“…. Those don’t count.”

I nod, crossing my arms over my chest. “They very much do count.”

“Johnny- please. This is stupid. I’m fine. You’re not hurting me.”

I sigh and bend down until I’m on his level. “I told you that I would not be like the other guy. In the slightest. I think… he taught you these habits. I think while he was your dominant you had no say in anything whatsoever so you never learned that it was okay to say ‘no’.”

“I say ‘no’ all the time. You’re not the only person who’s attracted to me.”

I’d set all those mother fuckers on fire- I swear. I’ve seen him hit on so restlessly before that it made me embarrassed for the guy and pissed off on Daken’s behalf.

And the girls… the girls are no better.

“Limits.” I restress. “Are fundamental for a healthy relationship.”

“Johnny…” he groans. “This is stupid. Just fuck me? I mean I got you over here. I’m already naked. What more do you want?”

I lean forward and kiss his cheek. “Get dressed babe. Let’s go look into new computers.”

“…What?”

“You heard me.”

“Johnny- please. This is stupid. You can’t withhold sex because it’s in my ‘best interest’. Who does that?”

I pull back. “Someone trying to care for someone who’s obviously been the victim of some kind of assault and-“

 “What?” he growls.

“You heard me.” I restate

“I… am not the ‘victim’ of anything.”

“Ah…”

“I… I’m not. My case was different. It’s more complicated than that.”

“Ah..”

Does he seriously not think that what happened to him was assault?

Laura shared a story. One so fucked up that she said he was completely doped outta his head to share.

“You…. Daken, I mean…”

“Laura.” He growls. “You’ve talked to her!”

“Well…. I said I would.”

“What did she say?”

“Daken-“

“What did she say??” he sounds pissed.

“Just that sometimes… sometimes you were hurt very badly. You told her you were hurt very badly. In your med wing. She said she sat by you for a long time and you shared things with her.”

“What things?”

“A certain story about claws?”

He sneers. “Claws?”

“Claws.”

“There are a lot of stories involving claws.” He holds his hand up and slides his for emphasis.

“And scalping?” I press gently.

“Johnny-“

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m not going to ask you about it any more than you’re comfortable with.”

He looks away. “I don’t like you knowing these things. I wish she hadn’t told you. I don’t know what you know now and it makes me nervous.”

“Well… if it makes you feel any better- I know a little more. I could tell you- if you want. And then you could talk about it. If you wanted to. You don’t have to.”

He sighs. “Fine. What do you know? I can clear up any misunderstandings that you’re sure to have after taking information from a second source.”

I smile. He’s going to try to reason his way out of this. He’s going to try to lie without lying. I can feel that as well though our little link. That’s my secret ,though. “Alright. I know that sometimes you were drugged up pretty bad…. which is why you kinda have a drug problem when it arises. Like… the ‘heat’. That’s why you got addicted so badly. And I know that sometimes you were beat up… and that most of the time you were ‘used’ until you passed out.”

“Tests,” he assures. “Those weren’t ‘assaults’ they were tests. The drugs were a gift to help with the pain. Nothing more. It’s not a problem. It’s got nothing to do with the heat, I promise. It was a misunderstanding. He gave me the drugs to help me- not hurt me. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Baby… you understand that you were hurt- right? You’re justifying your attacker. It doesn’t matter if he gave you the drugs to ‘help’. While you were under he attacked you. It goes back to the ‘consent’ thing we were talking about. You’ve just made excuses for your attacker.”

“My…” he laughs almost hysterically. “I don’t have an ‘attacker’. He was training me!”

I nod. “You dream about him… and what he did to you. Almost every time after we have sex.”

“I-“

“Honey he attacked you. That wasn’t a ‘test’. It was savage.”

He kind of curls in on himself. “What do you know?”

“I’ve seen it. I feel how it makes you feel.”

“Endurance is never easy- Johnny.”

“Endurance is running a marathon. Endurance is sitting through all of the Twilight movies. Being beaten, gutted, scalped and then fucked until you were raw- is not endurance. It’s torture.”

“I’m strong-“

“Do you really believe that? In light of everything that’s happened to you recently, do you really think it made you stronger?”

“…”

I sit on the couch, moving aside his legs in the process. He draws his knees to his chest. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to be honest with yourself. You were hurt. Admit that you were hurt. You were enslaved by someone.”

“I was not ‘enslaved’.” He scoffs.

“He had the money. He had the power. Where were you going to go? You were a child. Where could you go? Especially given when and where you were born. You had no options. He knew that.”

“How could you possibly know what he knew?”

“… Laura hears things.”

“She…”

“His last interactions weren’t only with you, Daken.”

“Him.” It’s spat like a curse.

I nod. “He knows things too. I’m sure he’d like to help if you’d let him.”

“Are you talking to him as well?” he growls.

“No.” I know he can smell that I’m not lying. “That’s a line I’m not going to cross. I haven’t reached out to him and he’s kept his distance from me.”

“For now.”

I have to give him that one. IF he wants to go looking- he will. And from what Laura’s been saying- he’s getting antsy.

“For now. If he reaches out, I will direct him to you, though. That’s really not my business unless you want it to be.”

“But what Laura’s telling you is??”

“…Yes?”

“Yes?” He demands.

“Yes.”

“Well then...” he stops and looks so damn frustrated. Focusing on it I can feel just how frustrated. It’s like he wants to slam his head into something. He has no clue what to do and feels like he’s backed up into a corner. “If that’s how it is… then so be it.”

…Not where I thought that train of conversation was going.

“With time, I’m sure you’ll get used to it baby. Me knowing things about you doesn’t make you weak. I’m not judging you at all. You’re incredibly strong for surviving through what’s-’

“See that? That’s why we don’t talk about this. Don’t talk to me with this victim praising ‘you’re so strong’ bullshit. I was strong because of it.”

“…That’s exactly what I just told you.”

He falters. “No- no it wasn’t.”

“Yes it was.”

“Johnny- please. I need you to listen.”

Panic. I know things. He knows I know them now and he’s freaking out because of it.

“I’m listening.” I encourage.

“I am not a victim.” He states quietly. “I’m not.”

The last part sounds like he was talking to himself.

“He trained me. He took care of me. I mean… I mean. I loved him. He wouldn’t hurt me. Why would he purposefully hurt me? I-“

I gently take his hand. “Are you alright?”

He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Daken?”

Our connection feels… odd. Like he’s about to over flood it with emotions. Anger, fear- grief. That’s the main one. He’s grieving.

“Why would he do that? Why would he make me a victim? He said he was training me. I’m supposed to be stronger because of this. Why am I weaker for it?”

“You were-“

“I’m not a victim!” he insists.

“How about ‘survivor’? Does that sound better?”

“…No.”

“Then lets just leave it there. You’re neither. You’re what you want to be.”

“I don’t ‘want to be’ anything.”

“Nothing?”

He shakes his head.

“Nothing at all?”

“… Just with you. That’s it. That’s as ‘coupley’ as I’m going to go. So drop it.”

I smile a little. “I wasn’t trying to get you to say that.”

He huffs. “Of course you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t.” I insist. “Just trying to make sure that ‘alive’ was something you wanted to be.”

“Sure. Alive.” He sighs. “Not much I can do about that now anyway- is there?”

Laura mentioned that he was borderline suicidal. Not just in passing either. She went out of her way to mention it. I know that if he gets bad I’ll probably feel it. But…

“Have you thought of talking to someone?”

“About what?”

“You know.”

“… I talk to Laura.”

I shrug. That’s a start. She’ll tell me if he gets too out of hand. “Alright.”

Daken rests his chin on his knees. “I don’t want a new computer anymore.”

I think he’s dismissing me.

“Alright.” I say cautiously.

“I… think I’d like to go lay down.” Definitely dismissing me. I’ve pushed the boundaries too much…

Wait. Can he even kick me out? Does he have that right anymore? Is it something we should bring up?

“Okay.”

He stands up and looks at me.  
I look back for a second.

“Well?” he prompts.

“ ‘Well’ what?”

“Are you coming with me?”

I can’t help but smile. “Of course.” Not dismissing. We’re going to go nest for a while. He’s had enough and needs to take it slow. I can spend a few hours curled up with him. It won’t kill me.

He walks to his bedroom with me close behind him.

I stop when we get into the room. “Your sheets.” I point.

“…”

“Daken what happened to your bed?”

“I… had a nightmare.”

“You… oh wow.” Guess that means that this whole ‘consent’ and ‘victim’ thing has been weighing on him more so than I realized.

His nice silk sheets have been absolutely murdered because of it. The second item like causality we’ve had today.

“Maybe…. We should stick to the cheap stuff for a while?” I offer.

He shrugs.

“I’ll pick you up some before bed tonight?”

“Are you staying over?” His voice is hard to interpret.

“… Do you want me to stay?”

He goes quiet for heartbeat. “Yes.” He inhales deeply while looking at his bed. “Please.”

I try not to grin too much. He’s obviously having some kind of bad day. I know my revelations to him haven’t helped any.

“Okay. Well how about this… we lay down for a few hours, get a shower, and head out for the evening. While we’re out we can eat, get you that new lap top, and pick up some sheets.” I smile at my own idea. “How’s that sound?”

“...Doable.”

“Enjoyable?” I tease.

He smiles for the first time in about an hour. “Maybe.”

Alright. Maybe is a great way to start the night.

Especially since I essentially slapped a chastity belt on him, called him a rape victim, and then brought up the fact that his estranged father might want to get involved with him again.

Three major blows right there.

But hey- I got a smile, an invitation to his bed, and no stab wounds. I’d say we’re off to a good start.


	9. Space talk... and a lesson in photography and cuteness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken learns about Johnny's upcoming mission and coupley stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i don't know. The scene at the end just kinda made me laugh when I thought it up. So ya. there. Coupley goodness. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And for all the support! It really helps me write knowing that y'all are enjoying it. :)

“You can’t do that.” he groans.

I don’t respond.

“No, really,” he whines this time. It’s a cute sound on him. "You can't do that." 

“It’s fine.”

“No- it’s not.” He corrects. “Reed is going to kick your ass.”

That makes me chuckle. “He’ll try to kick my ass- maybe.”

“He WILL kick your ass.”

“It’s just a tiny… little-“ The knife isn’t working properly. It’s quite frustrating. “Johnny?”

He glances over my shoulder. “What?”

“Could you weld this for me?”

“Wel- no! No. I’m not getting involved in this.” He stammers.

“The therapist said to take it home.” I try to reason.

Johnny runs a hand through his mused hair. He should still be sleeping. I did this at 3 AM so he’d be asleep. “To get used to it!” He groans. “Not to equip it with a… wait. Why is that knife split in two? How did you do that?”

“It’s not a knife,” I say calmly. “It’s a sword.”

“Why is the ‘sword’ split in two?”

“I have three claws- Johnny.” I grouse. “I need three replacements.”

“Yes… but you only have two.”

“Your point?”

“My point?” He leans over my shoulder. “I don’t want you to do this. That’s my point.”

I freeze here. We’re getting into territory that he’s just started exploring. He knows…

“Johnny?”

“It’s stupid- Daken. Your balance is going to be all kinds of fucked up with those knives in it. You’ll have to get used to it first.”

“I want the knives.” I insist. “It feels better to be armed.”

He sighs. “Daken, I don’t want you to do this,” he repeats. “I’m asking right now. Politely. Please don’t do this.”

I’ve been threading a sturdy wire into the prosthetic in front of me for the last hour. It feels weird to stop. My fingers tingle from the absence of the pain of the metal.

“The choice is yours.”

“No, it’s not.” I grouse.

Johnny chuckles. “It’s your rule babe. You did it and you function well under it. If you think I’m being unreasonable, we can call someone else in here.”

“Johnny-“

He shakes his head. “Don’t make me do it.” It sounds like a plea.

I growl at him and return to attaching the wire to the knife to the-

“Daken.” He warns.

He’ll do it… I know he will. But this is tiny. Surely he can’t really want to stop me. He doesn’t use the dominant thing lightly. It makes him nervous.

“Daken, please. I’m trying to make you feel like you have some control here.”

“I do. Hence, fixing the arm.”

“Stop,” he orders this time. “I am commanding you to stop.”

And…

“Johnny…” I groan.

“No back talk.”

I glare at him but say nothing for the moment. He’s gotten so sure of himself in this. I mean- that’s the point- isn’t it? That’s what was supposed to happen when I made him…

“I-“

“Unless it’s about something entirely different,” He says firmly, “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” He repeats. “Put down what you’re doing, give the knives to me, and come back to bed.”

“I… why?”

His expression falters. “Because I hate it when you make me do the dominant thing and I want to hold you for a while after I do it.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to hold me.”

“Maybe you don’t. Maybe you do. You’re going to bed either way.” He pauses. "If you don't want me to hold you, I'll sleep on the couch." 

I drop the wire and gather the knives, handing them to him gently.

“Thank you.”

I growl at him.  
“That’s not acceptable.” He chides. “None of this was acceptable.”

“Johnny… please.”

“No.” He puts his free hand on my shoulder. “No. No sweet talking. You will not equip this arm with weapons- alright? Later on, after you’ve gotten used to it- we’ll talk. Right now- it’s not to be weaponized. Do you understand?”

“…Yes.”

“Good.” He bends down and kisses me. “Come to bed.”

“Is that an order?”

“More like a plea.” He chuckles nervously.

“Fine.”

He leads the way back into the dark room with me following back about three steps.

He glances over his shoulder and frowns. “Daken…” he sighs. “Don’t do that. That’s the one thing I don’t like.”

“What?”

“The paces thing. Walk with me. Alright? With me- not behind me.”

“But-“

“That’s one of my conditions- remember? We don’t do the walking thing.”

… “Okay.”

“Good.” He offers his hand to me and pulls me in closer to him. It makes my body ache. That’s not how this goes. OR at least how it WENT. One was brutal with its savagery… this one… this one is cruel with its kindness. Two extremes.

“Come here.”

“More orders?”

“Another plea.” He corrects again. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

I oblige him and allow him to guide me to the bed.

“Are we going to fuck?” I ask a little cautiously.

He shakes his head. “No. I won’t fuck you after I’ve given you an order. I don’t know if you really want to or if you think you have to.” Johnny starts to kiss my bare shoulder. My bad one at that. “You’re tense.”

“You’re on my bad side.”

“Bad side?” He has a lilt to his voice. “I like this side.” He kisses the shoulder again. “It’s harder for you to stab me on this side.”

“Haha.”

He smiles that charming ‘I’m such a good guy’ smile.

“Really, though…. I don’t think you have a bad side.” His kisses move down what’s left of that arm. He stops when I flinch. “Does it hurt?” His voice is soft.

“…No.”

“No? Then you don’t mind if I…” He kisses again.

“I said that it didn’t hurt. I didn’t say that I didn’t mind.”

He smiles. “Sit on the bed.”

“Order?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

“… Sexy order?” he counter offers.

That draws an unexpected laugh from me.  
“Bed?” He motions with his hand like a show girl.

“Fine.” I sit on the bed and start to pull him in, but he stops me, still smiling. “What now?”

“Turn around.” Gentle voice again.

“I thought we weren’t fucking.” I grouse.

“We’re not.” He assures quickly. “I don’t like it when I can’t see your face anyway- you know that.”

Right. Right, I do know that. He likes to watch me. It’s… endearing in a way. He wants an actual connection when we’re fucking. Something that makes it… more.

I’m getting to the point where I don’t really mind ‘more’.

“Like this?” I ask while stupidly facing away from him.

“Yea, almost. Only sit up- alright? Indian style or something. Get comfortable.”

“What are you trying to do?” I’m back to grousing.

“You’re tense.” He explains as his hands find their way to my shoulder.

“So…”

“So…. I’m going to get you relaxed.”

“Really,” I state deadpan.

“Really.” He mocks. “You hold a lot of tension on this side.”

I sigh. “Because I’m missing pieces on that side.”

“Mm-hmm.” he hums.

It doesn’t feel bad, his hands massaging. I just… feel a little exposed.

“Relax,” he whispers into my ear. “Okay? Relax.”

“I have another shoulder.” I grouse despite my body’s automatic response to his command.

“I know.”

“… It’s probably tense too.”

“We’ll get there.”

“Johnny… please. I’m not in the mood for-“ His fingers dig into a certain muscle that makes me go lax. “Oh.”

“Tense.” He restates.

“Alright- yes. I’m tense. It feels very good. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Almost.” He teases. He moves one hand to my face, turning my head so that he can kiss me again.

It’s not obscene, but it’s deep.

If he’s trying not to fuck, he’s got a weird way of going about it.

When he stops I try to turn my head back, I can’t see him like this- again, because he’s on my bad side.

He holds my head there though and moves his lips down my neck. “Relax.” He soothes again. “I can feel you starting to freak out.”

“I can’t see you.”

“Okay?”

“Johnny please- I can’t see you like this.”

“Shh.” He massages the side of my face. “Close your eyes. Then you won’t have to worry about it.”

“… Fine.”

Now it’s completely dark. He smells a little like sweat. Underneath his body wash and deodorant- both of which he’s moved into my shower recently. There’s the slightest hint of arousal in there, but not enough to make me think he’s actually going to get to the fucking.

The fingers on my shoulder start to hold a little heat behind them. Not a painful amount- but enough to know that’s not completely natural.

“Are… you’re not setting yourself on fire are you?”

He chuckles. “No.”

“Your hand is getting hot.”

“I know.”

“But you’re not setting yourself on fire.”

“Nope.”

I hate it when he’s cryptic. I know he’s been talking to people about how to better do this relationship thing. It’s not fair really. He gets coaches. The only person I have on my side is Laura… who’s not very helpful. “I wish you would let me see what you are doing.”

Johnny’s hand is back on my face. “You can hear, smell, and feel me. You’ll be fine.”

His hand digs in deeper while his other hand’s finger traces along my face.

“Why are you on my bad side?” I complain. “If you switched shoulders we could do the exact same thing and I could see you doing it.”

“That side doesn’t need as much attention.” He soothes. “Relax, Daken. Please.”

I sigh. “I’m trying to.”

“Good.” He moves his hand from my shoulder and down the not-arm. “Are you going to help them decide on the final look of the arm?”

“I don’t care.” I hiss.

“Yes, you do.” He corrects, fingers running a skittering path across my skin… which is still slightly sensitive there. He starts to get to the end and it takes everything I’ve got not to pull away from him.

“You said it doesn’t hurt- right?” he asks gently.

“…Right.”

“Your teeth are clenched.”

“It… makes me uncomfortable.”

His fingers caress some more. “Your skin is so soft.” He comments.

“..Yes.”

“Ease up.” He repeats. “You’re alright.”  
I try to oblige him, but his finger is almost to the end of the arm. I don’t like people touching it. I barely let the doctors do so…. I had so much trouble getting the wound to close and-

“You’re shaking.” Now he sounds more concerned than before. “Honey does this hurt?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“…Yes.” I pause. “And no.”

“Oh?” He gently moves his hand across the abused flesh. “This is a head thing. There’s no open wound. It’s just… sensitive.”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t trust people over here.”

“…No.”

“Ah.” He kisses down the ruined appendage. “Well you trust me- don’t you?”

“What kind of question is that?” I snap.

“An honest one. Do you trust me?”

“Johnny-“

“Do you trust me?” he repeats.

“YES!” I snap again. “Yes?”

“Then you’ll let me make you feel better?”

“You can’t,” I whine. “Nothing makes that feel-“ His hand moves to the end of the arm and it’s very warm and very soft.

“Ya?” He sounds like he’d be smiling. “Heat can help the muscles relax.”

“I know.”

“I know that you know. Just stating the obvious.” He kisses my shoulder. “Why were you trying to put weapons in the prosthetic?” He questions.

“That’s… not fair. You can’t relax me and then question me.”

He chuckles. “Think I just did.”

“Well… don’t.”

“Answer?”

I grin. “Order?”

“Maybe.” His fingers continue to work into my flesh.

“Just getting it ready.”

He stops for a second. “For what?”

He knows what. He has to know I know. I mean… I guess I haven’t said anything about it… but he’s supposed to tell me. That’s what dominants do. They take care of things. If it affected me, he would be taking care of it.

“End of the world? Mutant terrorists…. Space?”

He freezes a little. “Oh.”

I know I’ve tipped my hand. “Oh.”

He kisses me sweetly. “You heard.”

“Ya…. I did. Sue said something about it when I was getting the arm from the lab.”

“It won’t be long.” He promises.

“OH… ?”

He shakes his head. “I was going to tell you.”

“I’m not mad. I would have told you before now if I was.”

He nods. “Tiny little inter galactic thing. It won’t take but a week.”

“Oh? And who’s going?”

“The team. Maybe Doctor Strange.”

… “And me?”

He shakes his head, taking his hands away from me and wrapping his arms around me from behind. “No, honey. I think… you need to stay on earth.”

“Why?”

“Because…. Well…. your powers haven’t been that steady…. And….” He stops. “I’ll have Laura over here. You won’t be by yourself.”

“You’re supposed to be over here.” I grouse.

“I know…”

“Johnny-“

“It’s just a mission, baby. Okay? You always come back from yours- and I always come back from mine.”

“It’s in space.”

“Ya… the Fantastic Four ones usually are.”

“Can’t I at least-“

“No. No, you stay here. I can’t stand the thought of you up there. Please- for now, stay on earth.”This is frustrating. Stay home.  He can’t do that. If something is going on, I want to be with him. He can’t-

“I… can feel you starting to tense up. I know what you’re thinking.”

“Johnny-“

“Daken, I’m ordering you, as your dominant, to stay here.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

He smiles at me. “Because you won’t listen any other way.”

“What if I don’t listen? What are you going to do?”

He pauses. “I will do what I have to, to keep you here.”

“And if I don’t stay?”

“Daken,” he says very carefully, “I will not physically dominate you. I will not hurt you to prove a point. That’s not how this works. Whatever this bond is that you’ve set up- is binding. I know that. I can feel it. We’re linked together. I know that you have to do what I say.”

“Please Johnny,” I begin.

“Shh,” He soothes. “Shh, baby. It’s alright. You just have to stay here, alright? I’m ordering you to stay here.”

“You can’t leave.” I try. “Please retract your order.”

Johnny sighs. “No.”

“Johnny- please.” My voice sounds ragged.

“… Did you have a hard time being separated from the other guy?”

“…” Honestly? “Yes.”

“I see.” He repositions us so that we’re both sitting face to face. “I can’t pull out, baby. I can’t. My team needs me. Without me, they’ll be down a man. I’m not going to see them in danger.”

“I… understand. But if you’d just take me with you-“

“Stay here. On earth.”

Why? Why is he doing this??

“No, really. It will hurt. It always hurts.”

“You’ll be fine.” He soothes. “Laura will be here for you every night I’m gone.”

“Please.” I feel… what. Tearful? Why? Why is that happening??

“You’re..” he pauses and thumbs my check. “Oh, Daken. I’m sorry honey. It’s a little mission. It will be fine.”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“… Daken.” He sighs. “Shh..” He pulls me closer. “If I had known you would be this upset, I would have told you sooner.”

It’s the bond. It’s making me feel everything.

“I… need you. I told you I needed you. And you’re leaving. Like him.”

“…No. No. He left because Logan made him. He maybe even killed him- we're not sure. Me?  I have no intention of leaving. Or dying.”

“…He didn’t either.”

“Ya well, I’m not going toe to toe with your old man. I think I’ll be fine.” He chuckles.

“When do you go?” I won't let this go. I will have answers. He can play coy and shy and all the things that make up Johnny trying not to answer- but I will have my answers. 

“Lay down with me.” he says instead of replying. 

“Johnny-“

“Come on.” he smiles. “Lay back.” He lets go of me and flops down on the pillows. New pillows. Cheap ones. Different from the ones I ruined whilst in a nightmare. Night panic is more like it. “Right here.” He spreads his arms wide. “Okay? Lay back.”

“When?” I move cautiously up the bed before laying back against him.

“Soon.” he breathes next to me.

“How soon?”

He looks at me for a second. “Friday.”

“It’s… Johnny, it’s Wednesday! When the fuck were you going to tell me??”

“I… I don’t know. You’ve been so upset-able these last couple of days. I meant to tell you when I came over about the lap top, but you were… well I mean I upset you.”

“Johnny…”

I’m not even mad. I’m panicked. Two days? Less. They’ll probably leave in the morning. A day. I’ve got him for a day.

“Are you mad?” He winces.

“…Not really.” I sigh. “I’m worried. You make me worry.”

“Well don’t.” he kisses my cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

I sigh. There’s no more fighting with him. He’s given like four orders at this point.

“I will obey you.”

“… I know.”

“But I’m not happy.” I falter for a second. “Please don’t make me be happy.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He says gently.

He starts to run his fingers over my scalp, all the while humming. The sensation, as well as the touch, is calming.

“I like space.” He says softly. “I got my powers there- you know. On a ship. Went up a scared teenager, came back down an even more scared teenager who could set himself on fire.”

I nod, curling up closer to him.

“It was amazing. All of the sudden being different. Feeling like I could actually be something out of the ordinary.” He looks over at me. “You understand. You were born with it. It’s in your genes to have these amazing gifts that other people couldn’t dream of…. Mine were just given to me. It’s one of the most amazing things that’s ever happened to me.”

“Sounds… amazing.”

He looks at me quizzically. “Have you ever been?”

“To space?”

“Ya.”

“No.”

He smiles. “One day, when it’s not some crazy mission, I’ll steal the ship and take you.”

“You’ll ‘steal a ship’.” I scoff. “To go to space.”

“Why not? I help do all the maintenance.”

That’s true. Underneath his young exterior, Johnny’s a brilliant mechanic. I didn't know he helped on some of the ships- but it doesn't exactly surprise me. 

“I’m holding you to that. When you get back, we’re going to go to space.”

He nods. “Space. The moon even. It’ll be romantic. I’ll bring liquor.”

“I can’t get drunk.” I chuckle.

“I can. I’mma get drunk and then fuck you orbiting the moon. It’s like a nerdy porno.”

“..Can you fuck in space? Zero gravity and all that.”

“Yes.” He says quickly. “Yes, you can fuck in space.”

“….Have you fucked in space?”

He grins sheepishly. “Once or twice with an Inhuman.”

“Wow.”

“Yup. My conquests reach far and wide.”

“And you settled for little ol’ me.” I tease.

“Well… you’re the first guy…” He inhales. “Well I mean the first serious guy. There was this guy in high school who I was kinda curious about in the shower room that one time and-“

“Johnny.” I ground him. “I don’t want to hear about your ex-lovers.”

“It was a hand job.” He scoffs. “We weren’t lovers.”

It's quiet for a minute. “I don’t like this,” I say finally.

He sighs. “I know.”

“Next time-“

“Baby, don’t.”

“Johnny-“

He shakes his head. “Come here.”

Sighing I roll over so that I’m leaning over him. “What?”

“Just let me look at you.” He says innocently. “So I’ll have something to..” he get a look on his face. “Here.” He starts to awkwardly shift through his belongings on the nightstand with one hand. “God this hard.”  
“Tell me about it.” I groan.

He raises an eyebrow and returns his hand with his cell phone.

“What are you doing?” I ask suspiciously.

He grins. “I’m going to take your picture.”

“…Why?”

“So I’ll have it in space.”

“… Can your phone even work up there?”

He shrugs. “It becomes more of an iPod. No calls or texts- but I can play music and look at it.”

“…And you want my picture.”

“Yes.” He affirms with a nod. “Smile.”

“I don’t like pictures, Johnny.”

“Afraid it will ‘steal your soul’, old timer?” He teases.

I chuckle. “No. pictures are proof.”

“You’re not a shadow dweller anymore,” he says gently. “It’s okay if people know you exist.”

“…”

“Smile.”

“I’m not smiling.”

He reaches his spare hand over and runs it over my side while wiggling his fingers oddly. “Come on, smile.”

“No.”

He.. what the hell is he doing. He moves his fingers lightly, moving them up towards my armpit.

“Stop.” I chuckle.

“What?” He smiles. He increases his movements. The feeling making me laugh in an almost uncontrollable manner.

“What you’re doing, stop it.” I yelp.

“Are… you ticklish, Daken?” he teases. “Surely not.”

He tickles harder, which brings actual giggles as I try to pull away from him. “Stop!” I breathe through laughter.

“There.” He chuckles to himself. “Note that for future reference.”

I stay over him, hand to his side. “Why did you do that?”

“So you’d smile. Duh.”

“Don’t do it again!”

He grins. “I’ll think about it.”

“Think really hard.” But I find myself smiling as well.

“Nah. That was adorable. I’m totally going to do it again.”

“… ‘Adorable’?” I scoff.

Johnny nods. “Yes. You did something cute. Deal with it.”

“I am not ‘cute’.” I scowl.

He laughs. “Oh yes you are. That was adorable. You act like you’ve never been…” he stops. “You haven’t, have you?”

“Haven’t what?”

“Been tickled.”

I honestly can’t say that I have. That was something new for me. “… I guess I haven’t.”

“Wow.” He smiles. “Guess I’m your first then.”

“Oh haha.”

He grins again. “So we’ve covered that I’m going to space, you’re ticklish and cute, and I’ve got your picture. What else is on the agenda for tonight?”

I glance at his phone. “I’ve got some ideas.”

“Really?” He says lowly.

“Involving the camera?” I offer.

“You want another picture?”

“… In case you run into any Inhumans and need reminding of certain things.”

He grins. “Then I’m all ears.”


	10. This Just In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny and Daken enjoy a last day together before the mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh... shameless, shameless smut. 
> 
> Really shameless. 
> 
> Can't stress that enough. 
> 
> Enjoy! Sorry it's so long. 
> 
> And (like I said) smut ahead.

“So….”

The woman across from me smiles, not looking up from her notepad. “So.” She repeats.

“Any chance we could wrap this up soon? I’ve got-“

“A commitment?” the reporter smiles like I imagine a shark would. “You’ve had a lot of those lately- haven’t you? Particularly involving another man.”

Ah. “I thought I made it clear that I wouldn’t be discussing my love life.”

The smile grows.

I repeat my statement in my head. Didn’t sound wrong to me…

“Love life,” she repeats, and I’m pretty sure she wrote it down. “So you’re seeing this person?”

“I- ah-“

“Then can we assume the tabloids were right in confirming that you’ve ‘switched teams’ as it were?”

“Ah-“

“How old is your boy toy? He looks about your age. Maybe a little younger.”

“Younger?” I try not to laugh.

“Older, then?”

“You could say that.”

She goes back to writing. “What is he- 28? 29? Surely not 30 yet.”

“Ha. That’s a little secret of his.”

“I mean… let me just say- yummy. He seems to have this bad boy appeal down to an act.”

“Ah-“

“And it was him who trashed that restaurant the other night? A fellow reporter saw you leave the ‘crime scene’ with him on your arm.”

“This is getting very personal.” I try to reign her back in. “I thought this interview was going to be about how the Future Foundation was trying to make steps forward in the form of diplomatic missions with ambassadors of other planets.”

She pauses, looking up at me through her shiny glasses. “They tell you to say that?”

Well… yea. That’s exactly how Sue told me to put it. “It may have been in a memo,” I admit quietly.

“Alien diplomacy has been done. We’ve already interviewed Mr. And Mrs. Richards on the matter. Pardon my saying this, but you don’t really interview Johnny Storm for a mission statement.”

Okay… “I don’t know whether to be offended by that or not.”

“Take it as a compliment. You’re not boring.”

“….thanks?”

She nods. “Now about your boy toy…”

“Could you stop calling him that?” I sound a little aggravated.

“Would you prefer ‘lover’?”

“How about ‘boyfriend’. ‘Significant other’ would probably be better come to think of it.”

“Oh really?” She pushes some of the long blonde hair back from her face. “So you admit that you’re seeing him.”

“Well…”

“So you’re gay.”

“I really thought this was going to be about the alien thing.”

She waves my worries away. “How’s the sex? How do things work with someone so obviously handicapped?”

Wow. “He’s not ‘handicapped’.”

“So he was born with the arm?”

“Well… no. That was recent.”

Shark smile again. “Oh wow. That most have been tragic for the two of you.”

“We weren’t actually together when it happened.”

“Ah.” Scribble, scribble, scribble. “So how is the sex?”

“I’m not going to talk about that with you. This is supposed to be a magazine interview. You’re making it sound like you’re interviewing for ‘Cosmo’.”

She nods. I think she’s getting the hint… “So do you top or bottom?”

… I could be wrong, though.

“That’s extremely personal.”

She pauses. “So… bottom?”

“No. And it’s not your business.”

“Really?” Her blue eyes glint. “He doesn’t seem like a bottom to me.”

What….? And I do? “You can’t tell from looking at someone- that’s extremely insensitive.”

“Tracing back all the hints, we’re estimating that the two of you have been together for about a year now…. it’s a long relationship for you.”

“Yes… your point?”

“No point. Just conversating.” She scribbles something else. “So does mystery guy have a name?”

“He’s a private person. He wouldn’t like me giving that information to you.”

“Code name?” She tries again.

“Ah-“

“He’s obviously super human. The damage in the restaurant seems to elude to him having some sort of built-in weapon. A lot like… oh, say- Wolverine?”

“How about that?” I laugh uncomfortably. “Crazy coincidence.”

“I’m sure. He’s also been seen hanging around someone else attached quite closely to Wolverine. A charge of sorts. Pretty young lady. Any thoughts on that?”

“More coincidences.”

“I’m sure.” She pauses for a second. “So the claws are just random then? I mean I’ve dug around and it seems to me that such mutations so closely related to another usually means that it’s passed down from a parent to an offspring.”

“Again- he really wouldn’t like me divulging any information about him.”

“So… you’re dating Wolverines love child? Bastard? What?”

“He’s… not going to like any of those titles.”

She smiles again. “That being said, I’ve seen the actual Wolverine unmasked on one rare occasion. He didn’t seem to look a lot like your specimen.”

“Ya well-“

“So it obviously must have come from the mother.” She presses. “Is she still around? Do the two of you get along?”

That one I do know. “No.”

“No you don’t get along or no she’s not around?”

“She died.”

The woman nods again and scribbles something. “That must have been hard on him.”

“Well, he never got to actually meet her… so.”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” I repeat.

“So… were his parents actually wed or was this some crazy superhero groupie?” She chuckles. “There’s a lot of those going around… I’m sure you’ve noticed, though.”

“I’m not comfortable with this conversation.” I try to reign her in-again.

She’s quiet again. “Is there any way I could get an interview with him- then?”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Well, why not? He’s with you- isn’t he? Is this serious? Do you plan on making him a more permanent part of your life….? Because that would suggest that he would be in some fashion joining your little family. That would make him very open to the public.”

“He’s private. My family and I respect his need for privacy and don’t push him into anything he is uncomfortable with.”

“Very thoughtful of you.”

I clearly see her scribble ‘Very defensive’.

“Well, when you care about someone… that tends to happen.”

“So you two are exclusive then? Because if it’s not that serious I’d be more than willing- off the record of course- to take you out tonight. Try to sway you back to the other team? You’d make a lot of fans very happy. Once they confirm that you’re not interested in them…”

“Whoa. Wait. I didn’t say I wasn’t interested in women. It’s just, right now- and preferably for very long into the future- I happen to enjoy being with him. It’s not about ‘switching teams’ or anything like that. I just happen to have made a very deep connection with him until I didn’t really see the problem with the two of us being together. Male or not- he’s a very intriguing person.”

“That destroys public restrooms.”

I glare at her. “He had a bad night.”

“Oh really? So he’s…” She waves her hand a little in front of her. “Unstable?”

“He’s been dealing with a lot.”

She nods- yet again. “I’ve seen his father- excuse me ‘not father’- in action before. He wasn’t the most stable person either. Do you think that’s genetic? Are you not worried that one day he’ll just up and stab you?”

“No, I’m not. He’s not a savage. He likes to talk to me before he does anything… so if it did come to that- I’d know exactly why it was coming and that it was actually going to happen.”

“What’s he like?” She presses. “Favorite things? How does he function? Is he going to attempt to get a prosthetic? And the eye! He has such lovely eyes- well eye. How hard is it for you to date someone so… damaged?”

My blood is boiling as I look at her. “He’s not ‘damaged’. He’s not going to do anything he’s not comfortable with and furthermore I’ve already told you that this has gotten way too personal.”

“I’m so sorry.” She doesn’t sound it at all. “These are just things the fans want to know.”

“Well, they can live without knowing. It’s my private business.”

“I’ll bet. And what ‘business’ goes down in private- I wonder?”

… I swear my eye is twitching. “Ma'am, you can go back to talking about aliens or we can call this interview off.”

She stares at me for a second with a cold, calculating gaze. “Alright…. So aliens? What exactly is your mission?”

“We’re fostering better communication to help resolve interstellar problems before they reach earth.”

“Right, right.” She isn’t scribbling. Why isn’t she scribbling? “And…will your ‘significant other’ be there?”

I sigh… count backwards from ten. “No.”

“No? You’re just going to leave him behind then?”

“He’s not really up for the mission at this point and time. I’m sure in the future, he’d been more than willing to accompany me, though.”

Very sure. As of right now, Daken is very, very unhappy that I’m going. I mean.. this is our last day together. And I’m taking an interview and the team’s insistence.

It’s safe to say that Daken is not a very happy man at the moment.

I plan on making up to him with a few of his favorite things. Kinda like a gift of things to say ‘sorry I’m going on a dangerous mission to space without you babe. Here’s some stuff to do while I’m gone’. He’ll hate the sentiment… but so far I’ve got him a nice computer, an x-box- so he can kill things without going out and actually killing things, and I’m picking up a variety of things from an Asian market. Things Laura said he’d most likely not turn down. Oh and lunch. So food, goodies, expensive electronics- he can’t complain too much.

“Does he fight well?”

That seems safe to answer. Safer than all the other questions she’s asked, anyway. “Yes, he’s quite talented at fighting.”

“Seems like everyone attached to Wolverine is in some fashion.”

“Well…”

“How about the girl he’s with all the time? the two of them look like they could be some sort of half siblings.”

“They’re not.”

“But they’re related in some sense- right? You’re obviously not worried about the two of them spending that much time together.”

… “Yes, they are related in some fashion.”

Not safe. Definitely not safe. Now not only is Daken dragged into it, Laura is as well. And who the hell knows why people are noting the two of them together in the first place??? Why is my family constantly being hounded by these people? It’s not like we’re Tony Stark. We’re a lot more low key than that. Yet I don’t see any of his interviews popping up all over the place. Tony dates around more than anyone I know… and he’s not being asked personal questions about his love life.

Not that he’d mind, knowing Tony, that is. Then I don’t really think he cares much for the privacy of any of his ‘lovers’. I mean, I guess that’s what you get when you date Iron Man anyway. Maybe they all sign some sort of release contract before things get serious….

“Ah. See I knew it. It’s the claws. They’re a dead giveaway.”

“Well….”

“She’s cute too. If things didn’t work out between the two of you would you possibly move on to her?”

“What kind of question is that!?” I snap.

She holds her hand up. “Sorry. Sorry. We’re getting ‘personal’ again.”

“Damn right you are.”

“Are you angry with me?” She asks carefully. “Going to use your powers in an adverse way?”

“… What?”

“Well… how well do you control yourself? The waiter at the restaurant said you threatened to use them at the table.”

“…Excuse me?”

She looks at me with that same glint in her eyes. “You have the ability to turn yourself into a ‘Human Torch”. Do you ever get a little ‘upset’ and slip up?”

“No.”

“Not even a little? Someone cuts you off in traffic… you throw a fireball or two? How in control of these ‘gifts’ are you?”

I sigh. “I’ve had my powers since I was a teenager. I have all but mastered them.”

“Good to know.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. We’re sitting outside so I can’t really complain. “Damn.” She groans. “I don’t have a lighter.” She raises an eyebrow. “Can you help a girl out?”

I don’t know if I should. She seems awfully interested in my powers. “Uh-“

“You have control of them- right? Show me. Just a tiny flame.”

Fine. “Alright.” I bend over the table in front of her and ignite my forefinger. She looks at me like it’s the weirdest thing she’s ever seen before leaning the rest of the way and lighting the cigarette.

“Much obliged.” She says with her lips clamped around it.

“Ya. No problem.” It’s quiet for a second. “So.. .are we done?”

“We still have about thirty minutes left.”

“Well, I want to be done.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Are you always such a hot head?”

“Hot- that was horrible. I’ve heard a lot of horrible puns- but that was just awful.”

She shrugs. “Tell me more about your ‘friend’.”

“My friend?”

“Lover. Boy toy. Whatever you want to call him. People really want to know these things.

This is going to be a loooong interview.

“Ya… I think we’re done.”

“Wait!” She laughs. “Wait. God,you’re closed off. I guess I’m more used to you being… ya know. The playboy of the team. It seems to me that you’ve become quite domesticated.”

“Ya… well, I’m happy.”

“Happy?”

“Yes, happy. I don’t need to be a playboy anymore.”

“Wow.” She exhales some smoke. “Wow. And all for this mystery guy.”

…”Yes.”

“So… I’m guessing the sex is amazing then.”

“Done.” I stand up from the chair and start to leave.

The garage is still dark when I find the car. I'm sure it's cold as well... but me being me- that's never really an issue. I’m about to get in when I hear the clack of heels.

I’m about to get in when I hear the clack of heels.

“Mr. Storm?” She calls.

I exhale roughly. “What?”

She raises an eyebrow, catching up with me and holding out her hand. “Your phone.”

Oh. That was… nice of her? “Thanks.”

“You got a call.”

“..okay?”

“Someone named “Daken”?”

Shit. “You looked at my phone??”

“Just the name.” She says quickly. “Is that… that’s him, isn’t it? That’s his name.”

“Ah-“

“Well, code name I guess.” She blabbers. “I can’t imagine someone actually naming their child that.”

“Well…”

“I mean my Japanese is rusty, but that seems like a stinging insult.”  
“What?” She’s totally lost me.

“It’s Japanese for ‘mongrel’. Ya know. A dog. A mixed breed dog.”

Oh. Wow. I mean… “Thanks.”

“Does he… call himself that? IT seems to indicate a level of self-loathing-“

“That doesn’t go in your story,” I growl. “Leave him out of it. Understood?”

She smiles. “Let me talk to him. I want an interview.”

I go to say something, but the phone rings again. She looks at me expectantly. I know I shouldn’t answer in front of her, but if he’s called twice, then maybe it’s important.

Sighing, I slide my finger to answer. “Hey.”

“When are you done with your interview?” He sounds okay. Focusing, he feels okay too.

“Just wrapping up.”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

I look at the reporter. “I left my phone with the reporter on accident. She just brought it to me.”

“Oh. Well, how did it go?”

“Annoying. She was really interested in you.”

The woman looks a little happy.

“Tell her to go fuck herself.”

I smile, holding the phone aside from my ear. “He told me to tell you to go fuck yourself.”

Her smile never fades. “Oh really?”

“She’s still there?” He chuckles.

“Ya. It’s been a tiring morning.”

“Well lose her.” He orders. “You’ve been gone too long.”

“Yes, sir.” I say with a grin. “Oh, hey. I’m going to get you lunch. What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Just get something and hurry back.”

“…Why so eager?”

“You’ll see.”

At that moment there’s a flash through our connection. I can almost see him and what he’s doing. I know it involves lube in some fashion.

“Alright. I’ll be there soon.”

I hang up the phone and stare at the reporter. “Thanks, miss. I think I’ll go-“

“Sounds like you have a fun afternoon planned.” She smirks.

“Yes.”

“Sure he can’t be persuaded for an interview?”

God. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll just have to tell the world how Johnny Storm, playboy of the superhuman community, stopped his interview on galactic diplomacy to go have gay sex with his very much male lover.”

She’s… oh, my god. I smile brightly. “You do that,” I say pleasantly. “And I’ll be sure to tell pretty much everyone in my particular circle of friends, not to grant you an interview.”

She looks shocked. “Uh…”

“So you can pretty much kiss any superhuman story you want to do ‘good-bye’.”

“Uh..”

“And of course I’ll be calling your publisher to tell them how completely unprofessional you were…. And I’m the star of this- aren’t I? They’re willing to believe the star. So you’ll be out of stories and out of work. How’s that sound?”

“Now- wait.” She chuckles uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean that. Of course, I didn’t mean that.” She backs up. “Have a wonderful day, Mr. Storm. And thank you so much for your time.”

…. I think Daken’s rubbed off on me. That’s totally something he would have done.

“Damn right,” I say to myself, getting in the car.  
I run by this nice Japanese restaurant and get him his favorite Sushi. It seems clichéd, I know. But you can’t beat the classics.

The Asian market is a bit easier. It turns out all the items X gave me were candy of some sort. Which… I wasn’t really expecting. But hey- it kinda goes along with the semi valentines day thing I’m trying to accomplish.

I get to his place in about thirty minutes.

The doors unlocked, which is unusual.

“You-“ I open the door and stop mid-sentence. “Oh wow.”

He grins. “Come join me?”

“Is that… what is that?”

It’s a box filled with.. oh god. He’s been shopping.

“I figured I’d get lonely.”

“I’m gone for a week.” I laugh. “You’ve… wow.” I put down what I’ve got and look into the new additions to his collection. “That’s… massive.”

"Close the door?" 

I do so quickly. 

"Set the food on the counter in the kitchen." He orders. 

I nod and follow his directions. 

I can feel how incredibly turned on he is through our link. It feels good. Way too good. 

I walk back into the living room and stare at the toy.  “How… you won’t be able to move if we use that.”

“I’ll heal.”

“Wow.”

Massive… in both length and width. I don’t think he has enough lube. And that’s saying something.

“I thought… we could break them in before you leave.”

I gulp a little looking at them all. Beads, things with switches, something that looks very much like a cock ring…. “That’ll take all afternoon.”

He grins. “That’s the point.”

“I… wow.”

He gasps a little, and I look over at him. “You’re… oh god.” He’s already enjoying one of his silicone friends.

“Join me?”  
“Alright.” I walk into the living room to where he’s situated on the couch. This feeling of pure pleasure shifts through our link. “Feel good baby?” I tease.

He nods.

“Why don’t you play with yourself?” I order, slipping into this role very easily. “While I’m getting ready.”

He slips his hand to his cock. “Like this?”

“Yea.” I praise and I start to undo my belt. “Nice and slow, though.”

He moves agonizingly slow.

“Hmmm.” I lift my shirt off. “You look a little flushed baby.”

“Oh?”

I nod. “Would you like me to help you out?”

He nods, watching me with fascination.

I get on my knees in front of him, making a show of taking him into my mouth.

When I get to the root, I have the small problem of his current favorite toy getting in the way. It’s not as massive as the new one, but he likes it because of its speed. I nudge it little and he hisses.

I slide back up, and then down… and he gasps when I touch it again. Curious.

When I slide down again, I quickly take my hand and push the toy a little more firmly into him, causing him to buck up into my mouth.

“Yes.” He groans. I let him go.

“Look at you.” I breathe.

He raises an eyebrow.

“You want it deeper, dear?”

“…deeper?” He moans. “Yes. Do deeper.”

I push a little harder. “Is it as good as me?”

He shakes his head violently.  
“Jerk yourself,” I order as I stand back to my feet and remove my sneakers and jeans.

He complies with half-closed eyelids.

“Now… take it out.”

He slowly removes the device.

“Good… “ I praise. “Let me see you stretch yourself. Give me a show.”

He slides his fingers down and starts to toy with himself.

“Slowly,” I instruct. “Move nice and slow for me. I wanna watch you. Start with one.”

“Mmm.” He slowly works into himself, not bothering to look at me as he does so. He’s such a sap for this. He really, really gets off on penetration. Especially if I’m watching. He likes it more when I watch.

“Ya? Now let’s see….” I start to sort through the box. “I see you got more lube.” I set the bottle aside on the couch. “Good… I’m thinking I’m going to need a lot of it if I’m going to get you as wet as you should be.”

He nods with a shudder.

“Add another finger,” I order, looking up at him. “You up for some trash talk- babe?”

He nods again.

“Good… then I can tell you what a little slut you are. And how I wish you could see yourself… knuckle deep… move your hips. Take it all in.”

“Anything else?” he teases.

“Can you hit your own prostate?”

“…Yes.”

“Do it.”

He’s quiet for a second and then gasps.

“Again.”

He’s twitching now and watching me.

“Again.”  
“Johnny.” he moans.

“Mm… feel how tight you are? You’ve got such a tight ass. I can’t wait to sink into you. Put this throbbing cock inside of you. Would you like that? Me fucking you into the couch… Like the good little slut that you are? Maybe you’d like for me to lean you over it- how’s that sound?”

“Wonderful.”

“Ya? Is that what you were hoping for when you bought all of this?”

“Yes. god yes.”

“I’d hate for you to be disappointed.”

I push aside more toys. A few more vibrators… those aren’t really fun, though. Well not for me, anyway. Some rope- which always has possibilities- a plug or two, strings of beads in varying sizes, a cock ring… “So is the cock ring for me, darling?”

“Eh… either or.”

“Because I know how much you love coming.” I chuckle darkly. “Again, and again, and again…. are you close to coming baby?”

“Yes.” He moans.

“So… obviously the cock ring is for me. So now you’re doubting my stamina?”

“….of course not.” He stammers.

“Speed up little,” I order. “Let me see you come.”

“So close.” He breathes.

“I’ll bet.” I abandon the toy chest and lean between his legs again, watching as he impales himself with abandon. “Hit it again.”

He complies eagerly.

“Just feel how tight you are.” I continue. “Make some noise baby. You’re doing such a good job. Give me some vocalization.”

He raises an eyebrow and moans loudly. “Next?”

I run my fingers up the inside of his thighs. “Ride your hand babe. Like a good little bitch. Show me how well you can take it and I may give you a treat.”

“Ngh..”

“Deep enough for you? Hit it again.” he complies and it drags a mile from me. “I can feel how close you are,” I whisper. “Ready to blow at any second. Are you going to come for me Daken?”

“I love it when you’re dirty.” He admits.

“ya? You like me bossing you around? Telling you how wonderfully naughty you are?”

“Yes.” He groans.

“But we weren’t talking about me- were we? We were talking about the cock ring.” His breathing shifts a little and I can feel how good he’s feeling. “I’m a little hurt, Daken.” I tease. “So I think we’re going to put it on you…. until you’re ready to beg me for it to be removed.”

“…uh-“

“Mmm. Yes. I’ll give you this one, and then you’ve got to wear the ring.” I watch his fingers. “Ready to come yet?”

“Yes…” he moans.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Then you’ll have to ask for it.”

he locks eyes with me. “Please let me come.”

I grin a little, rubbing his thigh some more. “That wasn’t very convincing.” I pout.

“Please, please, please let me come.” He tries again.

“Are you close?” His body seems to be trembling with pleasure. The after taste of it on my mind is delicious. “I can feel it. You’re being such a good boy in waiting…. Hit your prostate again and don’t stop until you finish.”

His breathing goes insanely labored. It lasts for all of thirty seconds.  
He comes over his stomach in violent spurts.

“Nice.” I praise. “Now put the ring on.”

“Give… me a second.” He chuckles.

I pick up the black circle and hand it to him. “Go on.”

He grins and does as he’s told. “Now what?”

“Lean back,” I instruct. “And spread your legs.”

I position myself back on my knees. “Put your calves on my shoulders.”

He does so hesitantly. “Good boy.”

“What are you-“

I lick at his hole demonstratively. “Oh god.”

It’s a weakness of his.

I lick him in a slow, long, flick of my tongue. I can feel his legs tighten on my shoulders. “Ya? Right there… that’s what you like. Gonna get you nice and hard again…. just so we can make you sorry about the cock ring insult.”

He laughs and looks down at me heatedly. “Then you’d better get to work.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to regret saying that.”

Without much further ado, I plunge my tongue into him. He laughs loudly, very much with pleasure.

“Oh god.” He breathes. “Right there. Right… oh god, don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

I take a moment to introduce a finger as well as my tongue. He hisses.

I pull back. “You like it, babe?”

He nods.

“You want me to tongue fuck you?”

“Yes.”

“Ask me to tongue fuck you.”

He swallows. “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please tongue fuck me.”

I nod. A little more dominance in the bedroom turns him the fuck on. So I kind of make him ask for things. Repeat what I’ve said. DO as I tell him…. honestly, it was in a documentary I saw on Netflix. I found it very informational and Daken really fucking loves what I’ve learned.

I go back to drilling my tongue into him until he’s groaning with pleasure. All gasps and shudders.

“More.” He moans. “Harder.”

I grab him by the hips and push deeper. His breathing starts to shallow again and I myself am getting very hard.

“God…” he groans. “Right there. Right there!”

He’s sweating now. I can see his erection straining with the ring around it.

I pull back again. “You seem to be wet enough.”

He nods. “Soaked.”

“Yup… now let's see….” I stand up and ruffle through the box. “What’s this one do?” I pick up a small device that looks egg shaped.

“It’s-“

“Don’t tell me.” I shush. “Lemme see… oh, look. It comes with a remote.”

He smiles lazily, propping himself up against the back of the couch.

“Lemme see…” I ponder. “If this is the remote… then the switch… “I turn the device over in my hand. “Ah.” There’s a small button on the underside. “There it is.” I experimentally push the button, causing the device to jump to life with strong, pulsing, vibrations. With the remote in one hand, I push the varying buttons for… different speeds. Yes, that’s what they do. Okay. We could have fun with this.

“Lay back.”

“I’m already laying back.”

“Head back too. Put your feet up on the couch, legs spread.”

“… like this.”

“Like… I don’t know. Like a gyno set up.”

He laughs loudly. “How would you know what that is? How do you expect me to know what that is?”

“I’ve seen shows.” I defend. “Here.” I grab his right foot, making him startle. “Put this… “I bend it to where his foot is on the edge of the couch. “Right here.” I’m trying to mimic a girly doctor set up. I think he’s catching on.

“Alright.”

“Good. Now the other one.”

“Like this?” He asks in faux innocence.

“Exactly like that.” I loom over him. “You look good like this…. waiting. Waiting for me to take mercy on you.” I place the toy at his entrance. “Like a good little patient.” Yes… I like this turn of events. It leaves it open for a bit of role play…. Which is somewhat of a weakness of mine.

“Oh, are we playing doctor now?” He teases a pang of arousal shifts through the air.

“Why yes. And you seem to have a chronic case.” I say in a 'doctor' voice.

“Of what, doctor?” He asks with feigned innocence, eyes wide.

“Hmm… nymphomania?” I question before nodding. “ Yes. Nymphomania. A severe case, at that. To which there is only one cure.”

He laughs.

“It is no laughing matter, young man.” I chide. “Now… let me give you your medication.”

“Please do.” He sighs. “I’d hate for it to get any worse.”

“Yes indeed. In some cases, it seems to spread.” I smile, pushing the device in slowly and turning it on. “Such a serious case. I’ve not seen one like it in years.”

He gasps. He feels the wonderful mixture of pleasure and humor. It’s endearing. And sexy. I’m more turned on than I have been in a while. It might be because I’m leaving. Or because I’ve got his undivided attention. Either way, it feels amazing.

“And how do you hope to cure me?”

“Well…” I drawl. “It will take several severe, dare I say- invasive- treatments.”

“How ‘invasive’?”

“Well… if the patient cannot be reached by ordinary measures, I may have to take matters into my own hands.” I nod after this. “It’s my duty, after all, as a medical professional to see that my patient is well cared for.”

“I think..” he groans. “I think I’m getting worse.”

I laugh. “Then I shall have to employ more extreme measures.” I take his dick in my hand and start pumping. He twitches and raises up. “I think… we should amp this up.”

I go through three or four minutes of jerking him whilst slowly turning the device to it’s highest setting. Once there, he’s all gasps and shudders.

“Young man,” I chide. “You seem almost resistant to medication.”

“I’m so sorry doctor.”

“Yes, indeed.” I nod, Leaning over him. “I’m afraid you’ve given me no choice but… to bend you over this couch and fuck this demon out of you.”

He bursts out laughing. “ ‘fuck this demon out of me’??”

“Yes.” I quickly remove the device and man handle him to a more comfortable position. Well for me anyway. He’s bent over the arm of the couch. “I shall apply some lubricant to the affected area…”

he’s still laughing.

“Like so.” I lube up a finger and slip it inside of him. “My word,” I gasp. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were enjoying yourself.”

“… then shall I be punished?” He plays along.

“Oh, most severely.” I grin. “We can’t have patients willfully disobeying.”

Without warning, I bring my free palm down across his ass. He jolts and moans. “Yes, a think a few of those will do you some good.”

“Mm.” he moans into the pain as I smack him again, still stretching him out while I do so.

“No moaning.” I chide, smacking him again. “You’ve got to prove that you are willing to be treated.”

“I am.” He says breathlessly.

“No, I don’t think so.” I tease. “I think you’re still being resistant to my methods.” I continue spanking him.  
“Oh, doctor I fear I’m too chronic of case for you.”

“Nonsense!” I slick myself up, having to do so slowly to keep from coming then and there. “No case is too big for me to handle!”

He looks over his shoulder just in time to see me pushing into him. “God.” It’s everything it should be. Being inside of him in the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt. “Yes. This should do you some good.”

He thrusts back on me suddenly, jolting me a little.

“I see how you want to play.” I thrust into him quickly, gaining a sharp gasp.

I start slow but end up rutting into him in fast sharp movements. He’s moaning and trying to brace himself, but not having much luck.

“You incurable thing.” I laugh.

“I think… I need to come.”

“Selfish thing.” I continue.

“Take the cock ring off of me, doctor.” He pleads.

“Ah yes.” I’m close. As if he can sense it, he clenches around me. “Yes, I think you’re ready for your final dose.”

He nods. “Allow me to help you, my boy.” I reach around him, feeling his amazingly hard dick, and clumsily remove the ring. “Now… come.”

He didn’t need much more persuasion, and I follow soon after.

We’re motionless for a second, catching our breath.

“That was what we in the medical field call ‘fan-fucking-tastic.’” I tap him lightly on the ass. “I think you’ll have to come back for further treatments in the future.”

He nods. “Agreed.”

I slip out of him, bending over him again to capture his lips. “I’m going to miss you.”

He smiles. “The feeling is mutual.”

That draws a laugh out of me. “Your lunch is in the kitchen. Let’s eat.”

“I think I need a shower first.”  
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m sure you do.”

“Oh ha ha.”

I grin. “Our facility has many wonderful shower capabilities.” In my doctor voice again.

He laughs. “I’m sure…. will you be accompanying me, doctor? In case I have a relapse.”

Well….

“But of course. You’ll be under very close supervision, I assure you.”

He nods, taking my hand and leading me into the bathroom.

Space is fun- I’ll grant you that. But not near as fun as what I’m leaving behind. Even if it’s only for a week, I’m going to miss him. Very, very badly.


	11. There's an Alien In my Bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing silly for these guys. :) So there's some of that in there. Enjoy!

“It’s alright.”

Say nothing. Say absolutely nothing and hope to god that he-

“Come here.”

Resist… pretend you don’t feel his hand on your shoulder

 “Look at me.” All said in the softest tone imaginable. “Please.”

At least laying here in the dark, turned away from him- I can’t see his eyes. Those soft blue eyes that urge actions out of me that countless others have failed to do over the years.

The hand is gentle on my shoulders, thumb digging in a little in a semi squeezing motion. “Look at me.”

I direct my eyes to the floor.

The hand on my shoulder moves to my waist, smoothing past it and resting on my stomach. “It’s okay.” He tries again.

I take a small breath, trying to remain as still and quiet as possible.

Now there are feather light kisses being placed over my shoulders. “Quiet, quiet, quiet.” He chides between kisses. “You’re making too much noise.” He chuckles at his own joke.

“…. Johnny-” I have to stop.

He gasps. “It speaks.” More kisses are placed on my shoulders. “And it knows my name. Houston, I think we’ve made contact.”

A thousand things are going through my head. Mainly on how this will hurt me.

“Easy.” He places his lips on my neck, kissing me gently. “I feel that.”

How could he not? I bet everyone could feel it right now.

“Please…” I stop again. What am I even trying to say?

“It speaks English!” he gasps, lips against my skin. “Houston we’ve made one hell of a discovery.”

The space jargon isn’t helping him here.

He kisses down my shoulder, leaning over to get more of my chest.

It drags the smallest of laughs from me.

“I’m sorry.” he grins from above me. “Am I bothering you?” He kisses back up my chest and to my shoulder. “Seems to have responses to human stimuli.” he muses.

“What are you doing?” I finally ask.

He reaches over and takes my hand in his. “Note how human it appears.” He kisses my shoulder before leaning over and examining the wrist he’s holding in the air. “Skin is warm and humid…. It’s clear that our specimen has been dragged from its nightly sleep routine.”

“Johnny.”

“It seems to have learned my name in hopes of communication... since I did not give my name one can only reason that it is indeed telepathic.”

“Johnny stop.”

“It’s vocabulary seems to grow in proportion to its agitation!” He gasps, dropping my wrist to the mattress and going back to my other side. “More observation is needed.” He says cryptically before quite suddenly flipping me onto my back and straddling me.

I’m so confused that I just stare at him from his new spot atop me.

“Such strange markings.” He remarks, running his forefinger down my tattoo. “It’s obviously a camouflage of some kind.”

“What are you- “

He puts a finger over my lips. “Note the tone at which it mocks human speech.”

He’s about to hear a ‘tone’ that’s for sure.

He moves the hand from my tattoo to under my arm. Or where my arm would have been- more precisely.

His hand stills and he looks at me for a second, wiggling his fingers just so.

“Don’t you dare,” I warn.

He smiles. “Note the reflexes.”

I have a second to think about what he means by that before he’s off of me and holding my leg in his hands.

“Johnny,” I growl.

“One starts to wonder….”

Before I can jerk my leg away, he grabs my ankle with one hand and starts to tickle my foot with the other.

“Let go!” I bark.

He grunts when I start kicking. “Note how desperately it seeks to understand it’s predicament.”

Giggles start leaving my mouth without my consent. “Stop!” I breathe through them.

“It does indeed grow desperate.” Johnny chuckles.

He avoids my kicking legs, letting go of my foot and straddling me once more. “Note the ability to shed tears.” He traces my face.

“So you think.” I try to smirk.

“Yet… when observed- this creature- solitary of nature- seemed to be in something that can only be described as a mournful state.”

“Mournful- “

“As if it had just lost something important.” He continues.

“Johnny- “

“There-” he points. “that tone. As if it were… calling.”

I have to smirk at his ridiculousness.

“A mate. Yes. It is a mating call. Where is your mate you wild thing you?”

“Sleeping on the couch if he tickles me again,” I warn.

He puts a hand over his heart. “It threatens to remove its mate from its nest. Such a cruel being we’ve found.”

“’Nest’?”

Johnny leans down, putting one hand on my arm and pinning it over my head. “There can be said that here is some amount of beauty held by this creature. I feel a sort of sway to understand its motives.”

“…Johnny.”

“It’s as if I want it to tell me why it’s avoiding me.” He raises an eyebrow.

I look off to the side.

“Note the darting glances as it looks for possible threats to it’s well being.”

I chuckle a little. “Am I an alien or an animal? You’re becoming hard to follow.”

“It’s almost as if it wants to distract me.” he hums. “Why are you burdened you, majestic creature?”

“Majestic?” I snort. “I’m not fucking you again. You can stop with the flattery.”

“Note how carefully it tells us that mating season is indeed passed. It seeks to keep It’s monogamous mating rituals in place. Mainly due to the fact that this observer suspects it has an amazing, gifted mate who pleases it greatly with it’s…. talents.”

“Really?” I raise an eyebrow.

“And yet… there is a sadness that rings in it.”

I roll my eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

“I, as an observer, must help this creature. It is obvious that it has lost something.”

“….. Oh really.”

He leans over and turns the lamp on by the bed. “I shall try to return its things to it in hopes that it will alleviate the problem.”

He starts to mess with the items on the side table.

“Hey- “

“Here.” He puts my cell phone on the bed beside me, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Hmm. This does not appear to be the missing item.” He returns to the side table.

“Don’t touch my shit!” I whine.  
He comes back with my wallet, looking at me with ‘observer’ eyes. “Hmm… this is also not the item.”

“Put those back!”

He digs in the drawer and starts pulling out socks. “Nope.” He hums.

The bed is now a mess of small mismatched items.

“Damn you creature!” he curses. “Why must you taunt me so??”

“Are you done?” I chuckle.

“Ah.” Johnny holds up a finger and looks at me ‘sternly’. “I have found a solution to all of my quandaries.”

I chuckle a little. “I find that hard to believe.”

He reaches back over to the table and pulls out his phone, holding it in front of himself for a second and taking a picture. He smiles at the screen and then ‘presents’ it to me.

“….. Okay?”

“It fears its mate is leaving.” he infers. “And unlike many earth creatures, it lacks the verbal skills to adequately express this fear.”

“….” I turn my head, but he puts a hand under my chin, turning it back.

“So it’s woken up at this ungodly time of night in a panic…. It’s own personal defense mechanism also waking this observer, who was in close proximity to the creature.”

“And it regrets it with each passing minute.” I groan.

“Perhaps this creature needs assurance in its mate’s abilities. For some great cosmic calling as begun- pulling its mate away for a short time.”

“You’re pushing it,” I warn.

He holds a hand skyward. “It thinks it’s mate won’t come back.”

“Johnny- “

“Even though it’s mate is awesome and quite a powerful specimen.”

“Please- “

“Perhaps it should have tried to talk to its mate…. Instead of seducing it and spending the daytime hours fornicating.”

“… Johnny.” I growl.

“Note how defensive it becomes. This observer has hidden in this very nest for some time today. Long enough to notice that the creature did indeed hide its intentions of sadness behind glorious hours of ‘mating’.”

“What? I can’t fuck you now?”

“It thinks to hide its sadness while proving its value to its mate.”

No, I don’t.

…. Do I?

I’ve been upset all day…. And the first thing I did when I got him to myself was fuck him. For hours. He all but passed out when we went to bed.

Sleep was a little harder for me….

“It seeks to use its body as a way to bribe its mate to stay.”

…. No. No that’s not what I did. He’s leaving. I just wanted to fuck him before he went. Since we wouldn’t be able to-

“And this observer can say without a doubt that it has learned these techniques from a shady, backhanded, source.”

NO.  
We’re stopping now. Game over.

“…Johnny?”

“And that what woke this creature-” He locks eyes with me. “Was not solely it’s fear for its mate. But a nightmare. One that it will not share with its mate… but affects it just as well as the creature.”

“…No- no- “

“This observer- having a connection with the creature that is indescribable at the moment- has observed this dream.”  
“Oh.”

Damn. I didn’t think of that.

“The creature refused to let its mate comfort it.” he continues, hand now on my face. “It’s frightened. That’s why the creature is burdened.”

“….” I just shake my head.

“This observer,” Johnny soothes, “From an observer’s standpoint, of course, would suggest that the creature talks to its mate and communicate these fears.”

“….”

“Or the observer will continue to observe until the creature kicks him from the room…. And then the creature will be alone.”

“I don’t want to be alone.” I grouse.

“Then reason dictates that you should talk.” Johnny raises an eyebrow.

I nudge his arm. “Get off of me.”

He gracefully dismounts me and sits on the side of the bed with his feet underneath him. “Hello dear.” He greets as if he hadn’t been in the room at all. “Got something you’d like to say?” He prompts pleasantly.

I cover my face with my hand and groan. “Really?”

“I can call the other guy back in here….” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the bedroom door. “So he can make more observations. But if you ask me- I’d say he was pretty spot on.”

“…. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

Johnny smiles, and it’s like a piece of art happening in front of me. Like watching a speed painting of the Mona Lisa.

“That’s it? I think we need the other guy after all.”

“I’m not done,” I say quickly.

“Proceed.” He grants, waving his hand in front of him.

Arrrgh. What does he want me to say? ‘I’ll miss you’ ‘don’t go’... What am I supposed to say? What do other people say?

“The creature is lost for words.” Johnny rubs his thumb on my cheek.

“…Don’t leave.” I manage.

“A week.” He counters. “It’ll be a week.”

“I…” Stop. Stop. Do not continue. Back peddle. Do something! Anything! Do not let that phrase leave your-

“You?” His eyes are soft.

“I...”

He holds a hand out to me, pulling me into a seated position, knee to knee with him.

“The creature,” he says gently, “Simply cannot communicate its feelings in a way that most creatures can understand.”

“…. Yes.”

“And it requires assistance.”

“Yes.”

He nods. “What does it wish to communicate?”

“….”

“Is it happy?”

I… don’t know. Am I happy?

This… this is ‘fun’. He’s ‘fun’. I like being with him. I….

“I love you.” He says gently. “Is that it?”

……. “Yes.”

He smiles again. “And you’ll miss me?”

I nod.

“And…. You’re going to let me hold you now?”

…. “…..”

“Because of your nightmare.” he smiles, clarifying. “Let me hold you until you fall back asleep.”

“…. Okay.”

He smiles, leaning over and turning out the lamp.

“That damn observer left socks all over the bed.” he grouses after a few seconds of darkness.

“Which he’s going to come back and pick up,” I add.

“Nah.” Johnny chuckles. “He’s long gone. I doubt you’ll ever see him again.”

That drags a laugh from me. “It’s a shame really. I was growing kind of fond of him.”

Johnny wraps his arms around me, slowly pushing me back to the bed. He readjusts us until my face is against his chest- which is not how we normally sleep.

“Heh.” He chuckles.

“What?”

“You’re shorter than me. This only works because you are.”

“…so?”

He rubs a circle on my back. “So nothing. It’s must a lot of danger and ferocity put into a tiny package.”

“I am not ‘tiny’.”

“You’re tinier than me.”

“So??”

“The creature…” He begins.

“The observer-” I counter.

He laughs.

We’re quiet for a while… but I still can’t seem to fall asleep.

“Johnny?”

“Hmmm?” He asks me.

“Making sure you’re awake.”

He laughs. “Of course I’m awake. I’m holding you until you fall asleep remember? That means you have to go first.”

“…Right.”

“So go on.” He encourages. “Close your eyes.”

…. “I can’t.”

“Dream bothering you?” he asks knowingly.

I nod against him.

“I’m sorry you had to wake up like that.” he soothes.

“It’s nothing.”

A nightly occurrence really.

“I wish I could shoulder that for you. That you didn’t have to go through it every night,” he says.

That shocks me into silence. We lay there for a few minutes.

“The creature is at loss for how to proceed.” he ‘observes’ again.

I laugh a little. “Please do tell me how.”

“Kiss me,” he says sweetly. “Kiss me, tell me ‘goodnight’, relax into my arms, and let me keep you safe.”

“‘Safe’?”

“From your monsters.” He nods.

…monster he says. The monster in my closet. The thing in my nightmares. The…. Me that I was to become.

I could have been like him… for so long I was trained to think like him. For so long…. I could have been.

“That’s all it is.” He assures. “Monsters in your closet…. and they can’t get you. Not with me here.”

“...And when you’re not?”

He smirks. “Daken- I’ll always be here. I promise.”

No…. he won’t. Eventually… he’ll die. He’ll-

“Don’t… don’t think about it.” He says gently. “Baby, don’t.”

“…. how…?” He’s become fucking amazing at using our bond. He knows what I’m thinking now.

“I think about it too.” He admits. “But don’t. That’s my monster- okay? That’s in my closet. You don’t worry about that.”

That’s one hell of a monster to face.

The thought makes me sick…. One day he won’t be here…. one day he won’t… but I will.

“Shh.” He soothes. “Honey- look at me.” He tilts my chin up towards him. “I’m young. ‘kay? We don’t have to worry about this for a long time.”

“…Alright.”

He nods. “Kiss me.” He prompts.

I do so.

“Goodnight,” I say before he can tell me.

He smiles. “Good night.”

And then I let his touch and presence calm me down- because it’s better that way. Because doing all of this to keep him unaffected by my emotions is pointless.  
Because he wants to be inside of this wall I’ve built.

…. because I want him to be there.

Because we have monsters to fight.

Because a fuck load of reasons I can’t name right now.

And… because I’m tired and I want nothing more than this ‘creature’ of mine to be with me. Because that’s all I think I’ll ever want now.

It’s comforting in every sense of the word.


	12. If it looks like a snake......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has evolved into a full blown story..... because that's what I like to do to myself. Still gonna alternate POV's and dark and light and sexy and funny and all- but it's an actual story of a moving plot now. 
> 
> Keep in mind that it's still completely sorta an AU I'm making up as I go along. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway- here's a space scene that i kinda worked out whilst doing some wielding in my sculpture class!  
> Thanks for reading!

Launch days are all the same when you boil them down. After about your thirtieth trip into space- the novelty just seems to wear off.

Even if we’re moving at speeds that science still finds boggling…. And on the way to planets where NASA hasn’t even dared to look yet. It’s whatever. Just another day at the office.

And thinking that makes me feel like such a child. This should be an amazing experience! But I’ve become so numb to it here recently that all I can think about is getting it over and done with and coming home.

“Cheer up flame brain.” Ben rumbles from beside me. “You’re killing the buzz for everyone.”

“What buzz?” I grouse. “Same old same- right? Space, aliens- same story different channel.” I moodily finger one of the gravity control switches. I made the mistake of pulling one of these once…. It took Reed about a year to let me back up here.

He laughs deep in his throat. “This ‘mood’ have anything to do with that little display in the hanger?”

That stops me for a second.

“ya know- where you and lover boy basically ate each others faces off.”

I feel heat creep all the way from my face to my ears.

He laughs loudly.

“Saw you through the hanger window.” He goes on to explain. “Thought you could use the privacy.”

“So why are you bringing it up??” I growl. For some reason- though I’m completely open with my relationship and my feelings towards Daken with my family- I just can’t talk to Ben about liking other men. It’s too awkward. I actively go out of my way to avoid him seeing me doing anything overtly sexual with Daken…. Or looking at other men. Or hearing me comment on other men- or… god. Ben just doesn’t handle those things well. Let’s just leave that there.

Ben laughs again. “Hey, I said you could use the privacy. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to give you shit for it later.”

“Noted.” I grouse.

“He seemed like he was going to miss you.”

“Ya,” I comment awkwardly.

Daken was kinda clingy in the hanger, now that I’m thinking about it. Honestly, I think it’s the fear of the strain the distance will put on the bond more than anything. From what I’ve gathered, he wasn’t separated from the other guy for a really long time after it was made.

He hadn’t wanted me to leave. He never does…. I mean of course that’s natural- right? It’s just now starting to hit me hit me that we’re an actual, grown-up, fully functional couple. And he’s going to miss me. And- regardless of what he insisted on telling me- that made him sad.

And him sad…. Now that’s a duel edged sword. Part of it breaks my heart while another part of it astounds me at the sheer volume of which he’s feeling. He goes from zero to sixty in less than ten seconds.

And so help me god if I point it out to him head on. We need games. Like last night- last night he was upset. He didn’t need grown up Johnny then because he wasn’t feeling like grown up Daken. He needed a game. He needed me to tease him into submission.

It’s a tactic I severely doubt anyone else would have tried on him.

“So you two are still pretty serious.”

…. “Ya.”

He looks over at me. “What? All the people you bring home and this is the one you can’t talk about? He’s the longest one you’ve had in a while.”

“You… don’t talk about this.” I try.

“Sure I do.”

“Not seriously.”

He shrugs. “Fact remains- lover boy seemed like he was really eager for you to get back.”

“It’s our bond.” I sigh. “I think the distance is a little… painful for him.”

A little is an understatement. I can still feel remnants of his ‘pain’. Up until we left the atmosphere it was like getting punched in the gut.

“Painful- huh?”

“It’s…. hard to explain.”

He nods, looking back through the windshield. I force of habit I think since there’s no way he can actually see anything at the moment.

“I’ve heard bits and pieces.” He says conversationally.

I just stare at him. “Ben… why are you making this kind of small talk?” I ask finally.

“Because it’s upsetting you kiddo.” He says simply. “You looked like you needed someone to talk to.”

He’s…. he’s a good man. A better friend. I feel bad that I’m not more open with him.

“…Thanks.”

“Don’t think you can do the girl talk shit with me, though.” He warns, chuckling low in his throat. “Come to me with a sex question or a complaint and I’ll clobber ya.”

I laugh a little. “Understood.”

We’re silent for a few seconds, catching hushed snippets of Reed and Sue’s conversation.

“You gonna be able to keep your head in the game for this? You look pretty spaced out.” Ben questions, switching some switch at the control panel that probably does something vastly important in stabilizing us or our oxygen. On a whim, I check that panel and see that all the numbers are good.

When flying in space- those numbers are one of the most important.  
The control station looks like a normal pilot’s get up. Knobs, switches, levers, steering wheel- all the basics.  
You’d think space stuff would be a little more sci- fi looking.

The real work on this craft is the engine. It’s absolutely beautiful- almost orgasmic really.

“Yea,” I pull a grimace. “I’ll be fine.”

“Because these guys…. They’re tricky. They’ve been giving us some problems already. It’s like they’re looking for an excuse to attack.”

Right. File that away for knowledge. “I know how to treat aliens, Ben.”

“Ya.” He chuckles. “And you’re so good at it. Just remember to play nice. We can’t set any of these bastards on fire… this time.”

“This time,” I repeat. “How bad are they?”

“Ya know the Kree?”

“…ya.”

“Ya know the brood?”

I nod.

“Mix em together in a prettier package. They look nice and all, but they’re rotten.”

There’s a chuckle from the other side of the cabin where Reed and Sue are ‘conferencing’.

“Laugh all you want,” Ben growls. “Those bastards aren’t to be trusted. Fuckin’ savages.”

“Now Ben.” Reed scolds, interrupting his hushed conversation with Sue to look in our direction. “Give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re new to the ‘peace treaty’ concept. Remember above all that this is a mission of diplomacy. We’re representing our planet. Make it look good.”

“They could start by not killing their neighbors,” Ben mumbles back, flipping some switches overhead.

“It was one ship,” Reed corrects, “And they were penalized for that.”

“Great. They’re hostile.” I groan, watching more switches flip. They’re getting us ready for landing it looks like. I don’t see anything out the window yet- but at the speeds we’re moving that’s to be expected.

“Save the attitude, boys.” Sue commands, “We’re landing in five.”

“Ya, ya.” I groan. “Be nice to the interstellar beings who are making us board their ship and could possibly rip our spines out at any moment.”

“Play nice with the other kids- Johnny.” She teases.

“Rip our spines out?” Ben questions, taking his hand off the steering wheel and grabbing my debriefing packet. “Lemme see that.”

“Well, obviously they can’t rip your spine out, Ben,” Reed says distractedly.

“Fuck if I’m not gonna see if they would try, though,” Ben mutters, flipping through the pages.

That drags a smile from me. “Who the hell are these people anyway? I’ve never heard of this race….” I take the packet back from Ben and pull out the first page. A bunch of ‘x’s that I know are probably silent or some shit. “I can’t even say it.”

“They’re sentient life forms- Johnny.” Reed chides. “Address them as such.”

Ben chuckles. “Bet ya ten bucks they’ll be calling us ‘humans’ instead of ‘sentient life forms’.” He whispers to me.

“I’ve got my money on ‘meat sacks’.” I grin.

“20 sound good to you?”

Reed sighs. “I can’t believe you're placing bets on this. This race comes into this part of the galaxy once every ten years. Try to show some respect for the knowledge we could gain from them.”

“Meat sacks for twenty then.” I pat Ben on his stony shoulder.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Peace negotiations are boring… usually. Dull talks of how the two races could come together and benefit each other. Mainly bullshit that never comes into light unless there’s a war. Or ya know- Galactus or some shit.

This negotiation, though… not so much boring.

For one- they brought gifts. I’ve been too like ten of these things- and they’ve never given me anything before.

The gifts were in the form stones of various shapes and colors- shiny things. I didn’t want to take one, out of spite for them dragging me from my home- but I thought Daken might want to see one. Seeing as he’s never been to space personally- I thought it would be a neat souvenir.

So I picked up a black and red one- both looking like they housed little galaxies on the inside of them in various colors. Blues and greens for the black stone, and black and purple for the red. I only did this after making sure that there weren’t actual galaxies on the inside.

The stones are bigger than my fists and cut almost like an emerald would be. At least from what I’ve seen of emeralds. I can imagine Daken putting them amongst his other valuable things. Like ‘yes you’ve got this couch set from so and so with the designer Italian leather, but I’ve brought you invaluable space emeralds roughly the size of a small house pets head. You’re welcome’.

….. Imagine the sex I’d get from that. One look at these and he’ll be fucking me for hours.

 

My stones aside- They brought jewelry for Sue- who, if they’d researched- doesn’t wear much. But she graciously accepted. They’re made of the same stones I’ve got- only smaller. Honestly I think the ones I’ve got were meant for her too- but I got there first.

This is impressive- of course- but If they really wanted to impress us they’d have given me one of those glowing energy swords their guards are toting. Shit looks like something out of video game and I just want to hold it for a second. Just a second. Sue’s shot me a million warning glances each time she sees me looking at it.

She even stomped my foot when I tried to get the guards attention.

That's the thing that's held most of my attention during this 'talk'. The guards are so still- like statues. The swords are glowing and purple and ... .come on man. Energy sword. Who doesn't want to play with an energy sword??? 

Honestly, I’ve spaced out of the conversation. I nod here and there when it sounds like Reed needs support- but other than that….

The thing I keep coming back to- the thing that’s making this so interesting- is the woman we’re talking to. She keeps looking at me over the table with this odd look. Like she’s puzzled.

I mean I thought at first (kinda vainly) that she may have been checking me out- but this is more than that. She’s trying to figure me out. She’s trying to put something together and it makes me uncomfortable. She’s disassembling me with her eyes… looking like she can see right through me. When I catch her sometimes- it’s like she’s not even directly looking at me. She’s looking at the air around me.

These people remind me a lot of snakes… and I’m thinking as to whether she can see vibrations in the air around me or some shit. And then thinking harder as to if that’s something snakes really do- or if I just made that up.

“And…. Then what of our cargo?” She tears her eyes from me and puts them back on Sue.

The aliens look normal. Like humans almost…. If all humans seemed to be super models. The man in front of us, beside the woman, is gorgeous. He’s tall, pale, blonde beyond belief- classic bone structure- the whole nine yards. All the guards seem to be a little ‘super modely’ too. And the woman next to him- the one who keeps staring at me- is…. Other worldly. She’s paler than anything I’ve ever seen with long dark hair piled high on her head and a body…. God that body. She’s got something women would kill for.

“Your cargo?” Sue questions.

“We’re slavers.” The woman clarifies in an accent that sounds mildly British.

“Slavers?” I scoff.

“The treaty does not allow the enslavement or selling of other sentient beings.” Sue says sternly.

“That is where our money comes from.” The woman says simply. Her bright green eyes sparkle with some sort of shine I don’t understand. It’s hard to see over how big her pupils are, though.

“Surely you can find another way to supplement your income.” Reed tries.

“…. You know.” The man drawls. “In the past… when we have dealt with Humans- they not only allowed us to go about our ways- but supplied us with gifts of slaves and promises of more.”

Okay….

“You’ve dealt with Humans before?” Reed asks, shock clear in his voice.

“One. A very long time ago. We’ve had on and off again contact since the dawn of your civilization.”

“I assure you that human life spans do not stretch that long. Surely you made contact with another being all together.”

“No.” The man insists. “He was quite mortal.”

“…. Where is he now?” I ask curiously Reed shoots me the ‘Shut up Johnny’ look he sometimes uses on missions.

The woman smiles a little. “We have lost contact with him over the last few years…. Which we found a pity. He was providing interesting resources for us. As well as appeasing our whims. I do believe some harm as come to him. I would very much like to figure out what.”

“….. Oh.” Sue looks at the three of us with a 'do something' look.

“Sorry lady.” Ben says quickly. “If you’re implying that you want us to help you find your long lost pen pal- that’s a little too much to ask for.”

“But he must be found.” The woman says, smiling again. “However will I be able to reach a contract with you if our one with him still stands.”

“What is your deal with him?” Reed asks, tenting his fingers in front of his face.

“He provided us with people. Strong ones. They served as gladiators in our courts for many a year.”

“And you sold them as slaves?” I ask in horror.

“We kept them as slaves until their usefulness wore off.” The woman smiles a little widely, showing fangs. “After their final battles- we disposed of them.”

“… I think she means she ate them.” I whisper to Ben.

Sue glares at me. “Johnny.”

“It’s alright.” The woman smiles again and addresses me. “Yes, we happen to be carnivorous. And yes, we did eat the gladiators. It is an honorable death in our culture.”

So fucking calm about it to. “Eh- “  
“Our diet consists of a variety of meats and such by-products. However- when it can not be found- the royal family and upper class is known to take sustenance elsewhere.”

“….They’re can-“

“Shut up.” Ben growls under his breath. “Shut up, shut up.”

I don’t want to make a deal with these people…. I want to get the hell out of here! They’re fucking cannibals! I stare at Sue- her eyes looking a little wide as well.

“We cannot allow you to enter this treaty if you intend ill upon your fellow neighbors.” Reed says gently and precisely.

“We’re not entering the treaty until our contact is found anyway.” The woman says with a raised eyebrow. “I find him much less squeamish.”

We sit in silence for a second. We’re on their ship… so it’s pretty much ‘play their game’ until they decide other wise.

She stares at me some more, patting the man beside her on the shoulder and whispering in his ear.

He joins her in staring at me a second before cocking an eyebrow and repeating something else to her.

She looks at me curiously. “You.” she points. “You I find interesting.”

“Thanks?” I try not to miss a beat here. If she’s not going to join the party, then it’s best to just make her happy so we can leave.

“You remind me of him.” Her pale lips spread into smile. I watch her skinny wrist adjusts the straps of her purple toga like dress. “Our earth friend- that is.”

“Blonde?” I question.

She shakes her head. “You have something very much like he did.”

That makes me start to worry.

“Something about your eyes…. And that interesting aura you carry with you. I dare say I’ve seen it before… once on earth.”

“…Eh…. Aura?” I chuckle a little. “Thanks again?”

“You are made up of two people.” she says, smiling with fang again. “Just like he was.”

My stomach starts to feel uneasy.

“I think you’re confused.” Reed says carefully. “Johnny is very much one person.”

“But he holds something of another person……” her smile grows wider. She turns to the man and says something in a language I don’t know. I look at Reed and for once he looks lost as well. And that means we’re in deep shit because he speaks pretty much every language known to man.

“Interesting.” She says in English finally. “Johnny- was it?”

“Yes.” I murmur.

“I prefer Jonathan if you don’t mind. I’d prefer to address you formally.”

“…. Okay? And what do I get to call you?” Because fuck if I know her name.

“I haven’t given my name.” She says simply before looking at me, “Jonathan, I believe you to be the key to solving our problem.”

I look around the spacious room- decked out in marble and high ceilings…. Columns- it looks almost roman. They’re one of those civilizations where I can’t tell if they’re behind us- or ahead. Or, judging by the ship and the way it’s set up- A mix of both.

“I’m not sure I see your meaning.” I don’t want to help her solve her problem.

“What Johnny means to say is that your phrasing is a little confusing.” Reed tries.

“No,” the woman drawls. “I was quite clear.”

“Maybe you could try again?” I offer. “For the kids in the back of the class.”

She raises an eyebrow. “I do not know this saying.”

“Repeat it again, clearer this time.” Ben growls.

“Ben.” Sue and Reed warn at the same time.

The man mumbles to himself but doesn’t say anything.

“You have something very similar in common with the man of which we seek…. you are both holding a piece of someone else…. and if I’m not mistaken…. Your pieces are very much alike.”

“….” What? My pieces…

Something starts to send a shiver up my spine.

Because I am holding a piece of another person. And…. Another person held that very same piece before me. A person who may just fit the age criteria that she mentioned.

Reed, Sue, and Ben kinda just stare between the woman and me across the table. Reed and Sue have sort of a dawning look of understanding on their faces. Ben looks lost as hell and ready to start breaking shit.

Overall the tension in the room is thick enough to slice with a knife.

“Your contact was a man?” I ask, gulping a little before I can speak.

The woman, smiling that toothy smile, nods.

“Big in stature?”

“Quite impressive.” She agrees.

“….. A good fighter?” I feel like I’m going to puke.

“Very talented. So much so that he took on most of my great grand father’s guard single handedly.”

“What weapons did he use?” My voice is deadly quiet.

She smiles. “You know…. I think we’re on to something.”

“What weapons did he use?” I repeat.  
She cocks an eyebrow. “Claws. On his hands.”

My piece. My extra piece. The piece I left on earth so he would be safe…. And somehow the aliens already know about him.

“Your pieces are different.” The woman says, and I swear it sounds like there’s a hiss behind her words. “Your piece is older.”

I nod.

“More refined……”

“This has nothing to do with the treaty,” I say quietly. What are the fucking odds that something like this would happen?? I mean… maybe that’s why these people are only in this part of the galaxy for a few weeks every ten years. They pick up some shit from this ‘contact’ and then go.

“How is it you have formed a bond so similar to our contact’s…. a bond which I suspect is formed with the same missing ‘piece’…...? To form such a bond would insinuate that you’d killed our contact in order to attain his power and standing.”

“I swear that I didn’t.” I try to sound adult, but I’m sweating and shaking like crazy. “Though he may be dead.” The man… Daken’s man. He was obsessed with power- at least from what Laura told me. Would he really have made bargains with creatures not of his planet to obtain more of it? If it’s him…. How do I begin to talk about him? I don’t even know his name.

The woman barks in laughter. “Oh, my.”

The man chuckles. “My queen…. It would appear- “

“Oh silence.” She hushes. “Jonathan, I do not believe that you could have amassed similar powers to him and not have been his killer. You came into our home under a false pretense- boy.”

“No, no, no!” I gush. “No false pretenses. Look- yes. I have something he that did, but no- I did not kill him for it! We don't even know if he's dead!”

Reed looks like he's trying to figure a way out of this.

Once again, because of something out of my control- I’ve put the team in danger.

“You talk ill of us being slavers when that is in fact what yourself are!” She says with a sadistic glee in her voice.

“I am not a slaver!” My voice is high in panic. "I didn't ask for him to be my slave!" 

“You own a person! You carry his very essence with you!”

The room is silent.

"No- no- no," I state seriously. "I am not a slaver." I try to laugh but it sounds hysterical. "This is just a misunderstanding. This is all a misunderstanding." 

“…… Holy shit,” Ben whispers a little too loudly. “Johnny killed the contact before we even got here?”

“NO, Ben,” I growl. “I didn’t kill the contact. But I know might have....IF and this is a big IF - he is dead. Which he may not be. We don't know.” I have to repeat this a million times. I don't know if the scary man is dead. Laura doesn't know if the scary man is dead. Daken doesn't know if the scary man is dead. He may be- he may not. The only person with that knowledge is  Logan and he the only person on this planet that I cannot talk to about this whole situation. By Daken's orders of course. 

  
But then should I really follow Daken's orders if somehow he and his master were known to these people? Should I go talk to Logan anyway? 

  
They know him. I don't know how much they know about him- but they know him. They see our bond. They know it's the same. 

I need to find out if his old master is still alive. And if he is- where he is. 

“OH really. A friend of yours?” She smiles.

“Not really.” More like an in-law at this point.

“And what has become of them?”

“They're around.” I don't give Logan away. He's my trump card. I can't have him known to the alien's from the get go. 

"So our contact... who may or may not be dead... did not get that way by your hand." She states. 

"Yes. And all of this is a complete misunderstanding." I try to restate. 

She looks to the man beside her. “I wish to call into attention that you have some of our contacts power within you.” She states slowly. “You’ve stashed it away without our knowledge. It doesn't seem like much of a 'misunderstanding'. I think you know exactly what you're doing. And even if you didn't kill our contract, you incapacitated him long enough to steal his power. Which means that you, by way of alliance to my contract, are now my enemy.”

“No- I don’t-“ I have t stop. "Whoah. I am not your enemy.l.. please- just let us talk this out-" 

"You've stored away stolen power." She says. "You've stored away our contract." 

"No-" 

“Silence.” She orders. “To be honest, it’s the only thing that’s kept you alive thus far.”

“…Excuse me?”

“When you came in.” She says to me. “I noticed something about you, so I put it to a test.”

“What test?” I demand.

“I nicked you with my nail.”

Alright…. I remember that.

“And?”

“I am venomous.” She smiles… very snake like. “You should be dead.”

I…. I should be what? “You did what!?” Reed stands up from the table. “We had a deal that this would be a peaceful negation.”

“You brought our contact’s replacement into my home…. A line he himself was never allowed to cross. I suspect he put you up to this. A last favor when you killed him. You're honoring his wishes.” She narrows her eyes at me.

“Lady- I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I yell, standing to my feet.

I’m supposed to be dead? She poisoned me? What the fuck??

Her mouth forms an ‘o’ of surprise. “Did you not-?” she laughs loudly. “Oh, you didn’t know!” She turns to the man. “The boy didn’t know!”

“…. Know what?”

“Oh, how precious. You’ve come this far on an accident.” she stops laughing. “it will not make your fate any less, however.”

“What fate?” I stammer.

“You have something in your possession that you should not.” she says lowly.

I’m about to set this bitch on fire. I’m looking at Reed for the answer and he’s got nothing but wide eyes.

“You have the child in your possession.” she hisses. “His child.” She stands up from the table and walks over to me, taking the neckline of her dress and pulling it to expose her chest. Which normally –yay. Hot alien tits. But holy fuck. There’s massive scarring there. “The child who did this to me.”  
It’s…. claws. Three slashes. They’re tiny, though.

“He lured me in with that charming aura.” she hisses, pulling her dress back up, “And then ran me through. Making me feel safe all the while.”

“When?”

“Years ago. When we were on earth. The child did not take well to our festivities when we visited his owner. He became frightened of our ways. I merely wished to hold him- he was after all a child. We value children in our culture- seeing as we ourselves have so few.”

“Fuck,” Ben growls. “Johnny killed the contact and Daken stabbed the alien lady. We’re fucked.”

“Where is the little darling?” She raises an eyebrow. “How does he fair in such a …. Kind… master’s hands now?”

“He’s grown.” I manage.

“Grown?” She looks at the man and then stops. “Yes. Yes. It’s been some while since we’ve seen him- hasn’t it my dear? The last time…. The joining. Yes. He was always elsewhere when we visited after that.”

"Oh?" 

Joining? They were there when this happened the first time? 

“And how fares his little powers? The ones he used to hypnotize me so.”

“A little all over the place,” I say honestly.

She inhales deeply. “Pity.” She gently places a hand on my shoulder. “Back to business, though- I’m afraid. Your fate shall swiftly be discussed.”

Reed steps in between me and the woman. “We’re not discussing anyone’s fate.” He says seriously. “This is all too much. We’re going to get on our ship and leave. No harm no foul.”

She looks around Reed. “You have our contacts powers, Jonathan. You drip with it. Our contract is valid so long as you stand.” She smiles. “Fortunately you are too young and inexperienced to know how to use them. We can deal with you while you’re coming into them and it shouldn’t be a problem.

“You’re…. wait a minute- I’m not- “

“Dispose of him.” She orders, giving me three seconds to think before one of those pretty energy swords is stabbed through my chest.

“Johnny!” Reed grabs me as a slump forward. “No, no.” He says quickly. “Johnny-

I slump to the ground, him trying to catch me.

The pain is unimaginable…. the…. Oh god. I start to choke on blood, feeling it bubble up past my lips and down my chin.

“Fuck.” I choke out.

Reed’s face is above me, but it’s covered in black dots.

“This is breaking every guideline we’ve set up!” Reed is saying from the thousand miles that seem to have formed between us. “You will be brought up on- “

“They don’t care Reed!” That must be Sue. “DO something!”

Things are going black.

Above me there’s fighting- Sue’s screaming- all hell has broken loose. Through the dots, I see that Ben has successfully taken one of the energy swords and has utilized it on the guard who stabbed me.

Just when things are there blackest- they start to get light again. The pain…. it starts to pulsate… but with each pulse, it gets less.

“Holy fuck.” I gasp.

Reed isn’t looking at me when I can finally see him again. He’s looking over at Ben- who’s stopped fighting mid swing.

“…. Guys?” I try.

That gets his attention.

“Johnny- don’t move,” Reed says quickly.

“I’m…. I think I’m okay.” I say in shock.

Reed takes his hand off my stab wound- eyes wide when he looks down.

“What??” I ask in a panicked tone.

“You…. Eh… healed. There’s no wound.”

“A secondary test.” The woman nods towards me. “I hope you don’t think me too forward. You’re coming into your own quite nicely. I thought you could use a push.”

Too….  
I look down at my chest… at my stomach. There’s blood… but there’s no wound. There’s no…

“Sue?” I feel lost.

“Hey,” She walks carefully over to me, making sure not to turn her back on the aliens. “Don’t freak out.” She tries to smile. “It’s… it’s good, right? You’re not dead. That’s a good thing.” Her smile looks plastic.

“I think…. I think… “

“Ya,” she inhales. “I think you may have gained a little something from bonding with Daken.” She puts her hands on my shoulders, gently squeezing them. “Pull it together for a little bit,” she orders. “We’re going to leave now.”

“They – “

“We shall hold peace talks with you, Jonathan.” The woman says from her side of the room. “On your turf since I have done you the wrong of twice attempting your life.”

“Why would I want to hold a peace talk with you???” I demand.

“Because we would be a formidable foe.” she cocks an eyebrow. “And you earthlings do smell oh so sweet.”

“Why me?”

“Because you have his powers,” she says simply. “Were you to not- we’d have killed the lot of you by now.”

“What is she talking about??” I whisper to my sister. “Who’s powers?”

“You know that guy Daken doesn’t talk about?” Sue says gently.

“Yes.”

“They think you’re the next him…. and it’s just saved all of our lives.” Sue sighs  after this and whispers,  “Remind me to give Daken a hug when I see him.”

The alien lady walks over to me, hand held in the air. “I mean no harm.” She extends that hand to me. “My name is not pronounced in your tongue. Call me as you wish.”

“How about creepy bitch?” I snarl.

“A title I am much deserving of your eyes, I assume. I am duty bound to fulfill my contract with you. As we still have eighty years left on the books…. We will discuss your terms… for I feel, after having conversed with you and seen how you view our customs- you will have different feelings than that of your predecessor.”

“…. Yes.” I feel so confused. “I have a few different terms.”

“As you should. Romulus was a bit of a brute. I suspect you’ll initially try to be different.”

Who?

That…

Oh! That’s him! That’s the guy we don’t talk about! Oh fuck. That’s…. they deal with him. They know about his culture- and their home looks like something out of ancient Rome…. I wonder if he’s anything to do with the Roman mythology ‘Romulus.’. I doubt Daken will tell me.

Oh fuck. Daken.

Oh fuck. How’s he… how’s he going to take this??

“The child,” she says with a toothy smile. “He won’t remember us.”

The man joins her side and nods. “That was our gift to him after our visit traumatized him so greatly…. He thinks it a nightmare.”

“You made him forget?”

“Do take care Jonathan…. Or you will find yourself caught up in our nightmare as well.” The man from her side says carefully. “The two of you will be expected to play with us, of course. We’ll have a wonderful time of it. It could be quite hellish for you- however, earthling.”

I’m scared… but part of me is pissed that I owe Ben 20 bucks now.

The room is deadly silent. “What do you mean by that?”

“Romulus was a good bit older than you. Stronger than you. Smarter than you. He played our games well…. It suited him. You…” she chuckles. “I feel our bargain will be up far before it is time.”

I swallow spit, almost choking. “Are you threatening me?”

“You would be wise to feel threatened.” she raises her eyebrow. “Perhaps your other can help you piece together what is to come.”

“What’s coming?” I demand.

“A week of festivities.” she smiles. “You provide the location- a large location- and I will provide everything else. We will celebrate as we did all those years ago…. Back when there was the first joining. It’s truly something special- you know.” she rolls her eyes. “Of course you don’t know. I bet you’ve taken it for granted all this time. Not even knowing the basic premises of it.”

“He…. Never told me.”

“Oh, he doesn’t know.” The woman laughs. “Romulus never told him either. I was quite informed on the process- seeing as I helped track down the original human who performed these bonds.”

“You…. He told you…. But not Daken?”

“Oh is that what he calls himself now?” She laughs. “He was still using his ‘birth’ name when I knew him. Poor little Akihiro- was it darling?” She calls behind her.

“Yes.”

“Made it half way through the first night before stabbing me. Oh, how Romulus raged that night. The child’s screams were heard for hours.”

“Why were you there for the first joining?” I demand. “Why did he call you?”

The… joining? Daken’s ‘joining’? “We celebrated the first time it happened, for the child was the only one across several solar systems who survived the process.” She smiles. “And now he’s done it again. Such a special little thing. Or a subservient one…. As I’m sure you’ve noticed.” She leers at me.

Great. Now the alien snake lady is making jokes about my sex life.

"Tell me, do you taste of him as often as his old master? Of course in our culture, we hold children close to us. Using them for fornication is a sin that is punishable by the worst sort of death you can imagine. Watching his master partake of him was quite unsettling. I'd like to think that since you're so 'kind'," she pauses, "you'd have waited until he was of reasonable age." 

"He's older than I am." I snap. "I wouldn't abuse a child." 

But holy fuck. Romulus did. 

That... confirmed. By a stranger. In front of my entire family. Fuck. I'm going to have to tell them to never repeat any of this. 

"Daken was used.... as a child?" Reed sounds as disgusted as I feel. 

"As I'm sure Jonathan has noted, the bonding has certain... sexual aspects." 

"Can we stop?" I look down. "I'd like to go." 

"Go?" The woman smiles. "Are we making you nervous?" 

"Yes," I say honestly. "You've threatened me and talked about the man I love-"   
  
"The man you love???" She smiles wide. "Well, well, well. Would you look at that? Oh, dear sweet Jonathan." She coos. "You're not supposed to fall in love with your submissive. It breaks the very nature of the process." 

I'm... not? 

"I'm-" 

"You've put him in danger." She laughs. "You've put yourself in danger. You've exposed your biggest weak spot. Your greatest failing. You'll not be able to part with him. Neither of you. Losing one or the other will... OH, my." She breaks off into laughter. "Oh, you stupid human." 

Romulus never loved him. 

He wasn't supposed to. He... couldn't. 

“We’re leaving now,” Reed says firmly. "We're leaving and you'll not stop us." 

“But of course,” The woman smiles. “We are in treaty together- after all. It would be cruel of us to harm you. Please- take these gifts and return home.” She looks over at the stones I had earlier with a smirk. “I’d take him the black, Jonathan. I do believe he’s already got the red.”

I swallow harshly again.

“Of course I will be presenting him with more at our celebration. Since it is in honor of his wonderful feat of strength…. and on the eve of peace negotiations with his master.”

“I’m not-“

Sue puts a hand over my mouth. “You are his master,” she whispers in my ear. “For right now- until we are on the ship- you are Daken’s master.”

She smiles. “I shall see you in three weeks’ time. We will be in correspondence.” The woman smiles with fang again, bowing at the waist. “You are dismissed.”

Sue tugs on my shoulders. “Up,” she says softly. “Move, Johnny.”

The four of us are going back to the plane…. No one saying a word. The air is chilled as the engine starts up.

The silence continues until we’ve left the docking bay and are back into open space.

I slump against a wall, hand on my forehead.

“IS anyone going to talk about that??” I demand.

“We’re giving you time,” Sue says gently.

“Time??? Time??? I don’t’ need time! I need explanations! What the fuck just happened?”

“We’re on the same page as you- Johnny.” Reed joins Sue’s side and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Did I die? Let’s start there. You saw me die.”

 “Yes.” Reed walk’s over to me and examines the wound…. Or where it should be. “For all intents and purposes- you were dead. I checked your pulse.”

“‘kay,” I mumble. “Good. SO I died…. But I’m not dead.” A panic shakes me. “I’m not dead am I?”

“No,” Reed answers patiently. “You’re not dead.”

“Okay…. So next questions- Did I just get told that I have the sole power to negotiate an 80-year peace treaty with snake people?”

“Yes,” Reed says again, prodding at me.

“And those snake people think I’m Daken’s master…. and they’re interested in the power the two of us create because apparently, no one else can survive this bonding thing he does.”

“I’d love it if you’d convince him to let me observe the two of you,” Reed says in an offhanded manner. “You’re gaining a healing factor was quite unexpected.”

Healing factor….

I gained….

Healing. I can heal.

“I got his healing factor,” I state to myself.

“That man- that Romulus- it’s probably why he got stronger as he got older. He bonded with Daken to give it a boost.”

“Daken’s going to hate all of this,” I whisper. “How can I even explain it to him?”

“How does your bond work?” Reed says gently.

“…What?”

“This is important.” He says carefully. “You died today. But not permanently. Can you still ‘feel’ him?”

I have to think about it. And….

“He’s scared.” OH god. He's so scared. 

Wait- 

"How close are we to Earth?" I ask. 

"Still a long way." Ben answers. 

"How can I feel him?" I wonder. 

"Your powers are an untapped source of energy, Johnny." Reed frowns. "So, Daken felt it. You feel him. Can you talk to him through your link?" 

"I don't know." 

I don't know anything. I feel so powerless. 

“He probably felt it.” Sue ponders.

“He…. He’s really freaked out.” I feel so bad for him.

“I’ll contact a friend of mine,” Reed says gently. “They’ll try to get ahold of Laura so she can tell Daken that you’re fine.”

I continue to slump on the wall. “And all of this really just happened.”

“I’m afraid so.”

I start to giggle. Then chuckle. Then Laugh. Hysterically. “OH good- I thought I was going crazy.”

“Are you okay?” Sue puts her hands on my shoulder, trying to drag me up straight.

“Aliens!” I manage. I feel lightheaded and woozy.

“Johnny….” Reed grabs my other shoulder. “Maybe you should go lay down.”

“’s cool.” I try to offer him a smile. It works for a second…. But then everything goes black again.


	13. Alien Space Rocks do not make good presents

“I cannot apologize enough.” Laura’s voice echoes off the cold walls. “He’s…. he’s very sorry.”

Like hell I am.

The cot underneath me is scratchy and they’ve wrapped my hand in some kind of metal cuff.

Good planning on their part I guess… though I’m pretty sure I can get the claws through it.

There’s a snort past the walls and the glass of the door. “He’s drugged right now. It was the only way we could get him here.”

That would explain the groggy feeling.

“We… can’t touch him. People are having weird reactions around him…. Why don’t you take him and get him out of here?” The man sounds uncomfortable. Seems my pheromones have been playing without me again.

“Thank you so much, officer,” Laura says thankfully.

‘thank you so much officer’ my ass.

The door to the cell block opens. “Okay wild child.” A female cop says playfully. Her skin is dark and flawless, her waist is small, and her hair is pulling back in that ‘none of your shit’ style. She’s pretty. Too pretty to be one of these assholes- that’s for sure. “Your sister’s going to take you home. Try and get some rest- huh? Go see your doctors in the morning and stay out of that coffee shop.”

Doctors? What doctors?

Coffee shop?

My confusion must show because the woman’s gaze softens.

“The drugs should be wearing off.” She tells Laura. “Take him home, get him something to eat, and put him to bed. He’ll feel fine in the morning.”

I go to ask, but I see Laura’s face behind her. She’s clearly telling me to shut up.

The door to the cell is unlocked and pushed aside. “We’re not charging him.” The woman says gently. “No one got hurt – after all.”

Thank god for that I suppose.

“I’ll take him home,” X says, offering her hand out to me. “Akihiro.” She says carefully. “Tell the nice policewoman ‘thank you’ and come home.”

Why the hell is she calling me that?

“What are you- “

“NO.” She says clearly, “No questions. Just say ‘thank you’ and let’s leave.”

Why the hell am I thanking her??

“Akihiro.” She chides.

Why?? Why is she calling me that?

“X- “

“No.” She snaps. “Thank the officer for helping you calm down and then come home. We’ll see the doctor in the morning.”

“Thank you,” I mumble, trying to play off my confusion.

“No problem.” The woman says gently. “Take it easy.”

X puts her arm around me and ushers me out the door of the cell block. We walk through the building with her arm still grasped tightly around me.

The officers in the building see us coming and…. Well, there’s no other way to describe it- they scatter.

X takes me through ‘booking’ to make sure I can go.

It’s the shortest interaction I’ve ever heard of. The man gives us the paperwork in a flash- having already filled it out. He removes the cuff with small jerky movements- as if he’s afraid to touch my skin.

I think…. I think they want us to leave.

X ushers me through the door of the station- saying stupid things every once in a while that sound like she’s trying to be calming.

Which makes no sense- I’m fine. Perfectly calm. I don’t even feel like I’m pushing any run off on anyone. Why would she feel the need to verbally- and quite obviously- keep me calm?

“What the hell was that about?” I hiss when we’re out of the door.

“I convinced them you were ill. It was the only excuse I could come up with to explain your behavior.” She says simply.

“….”

“They wanted to send you to a hospital for observation… but I told them that we were working with The Richards and that Reed would sort it all out when he returned home from his trip.”

Wait…. “You told the entire police force that I was crazy??”

“Yes.” She smirks.

“And you gave them my real name??”

“What’s that matter?” She smirks again. “You never use it for anything official. They seemed to think you reacted very calmly when referred to as ‘Akihiro’. I’m going to note it. Maybe Johnny- “

“He doesn’t know my real name,” I say dismissively.

She stares at me. “You should tell him. I think it would make him very happy.”

This is not where I want the conversation to head.

Now for the embarrassing part of the conversation- if it hasn’t happened already. “X…. what happened?”

She takes my arm again and starts us down the street. The city sidewalk isn’t crowded today- which is good. I don’t want people brushing up against me and it takes up too much energy to ‘suggest’ that they keep their distance.

Cars and Taxis move slowly down the street- it’s not gridlocked traffic- but there’s a good little bit.

Her fingers tighten around my bicep. “You don’t remember?”

“…. I remember waking up about an hour ago.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.” I look at her face. It’s got its usual pleasantness. If it were on another woman, I would call it attractive. But I don’t like to think of X like that. More so than the pleasantness, it’s eerily vacant. “What happened?”

“Well…” She drawls. “You’ve been driving me insane in your apartment for the last three days. You’ve been depressed, you’ve been angry, and you’ve been taking up all of my free time.”

“…Noted.”

She nods. “Today, I thought you’d appreciate it if we could leave the apartment. We went to go get coffee.”

Things start to come back to me a little.

“Down on fifth?”

She nods. “We were sitting down when you started to get very anxious. You said that something was ‘wrong’. More so that something was wrong with Johnny.”

I stop walking. “Fuck.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You collapsed into tears…. Uncontrollably. I could not quiet you.”

“Eh-”

“When the manager- an innocent bystander- came over to see if you needed assistance- you became enraged with him. You completely destroyed the coffee shop… and then when the police came- you collapsed back into tears and tried to persuade them to the fact that you couldn’t go with them to jail- because you had to go to space.” She inhales here…. “Which is a phrase that apparently outside of our circle- leads people to think you’re insane.”

“Fu-“

“Fuck.” She says before I can, smiling at me. “The claws are the only thing that kept you out of a Psychiatric hospital. They were convinced you’d lost your mind.”

Ya. That’s what I needed to hear.

“I’ve been trying to retrieve you for the last four hours. Apparently, once they’d gotten you into the car you tried to bribe them with your pheromone abilities.”

“I did?”

“You succeeded in making two very burly grown men cry….” She recalls. “And a smaller one urinate himself.” Laura smiles. “Also two of the officers requested your phone number.”

“…Good to know.”

Laura nudges me forward, making us walk again. “So are you going to tell me what that was about?”

I shake my head. “I… don’t remember a lot,” I confess- thinking over what I do know. “The connection it…. It hurt me.”

“The ‘connection’? Your bond with Johnny?”

“Yes.” I look at her to see if that seems strange to her at all.

“It's been hurting you for days.” She says observantly. “You’ve been passing it off as having a ‘headache’. Which we both know the healing factor won’t let you keep for that long.”

“This was worse. It’s like someone had stabbed me…. and it didn’t go away.”

“I thought you said you didn’t remember.”

“I don’t remember what I did because of it… but I think I remember the moments leading up to it.”

“I’m sure.” She looks at me carefully. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” I admit.

“I’d suggest we stop for some coffee…”

I glance over at her, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a joke?”

She grins a little. “Do you find it humorous?”

“I find it an amusing attempt at humor- yes,” I smirk.

She just smiles. “Why did you have to destroy the shop- Daken? I was quite hungry.”

“Hungry? I thought you said we went for coffee.”

“I was getting dessert.” She pouts. “You know that I don’t often drink coffee.

Right. “We could…. “

“Oh no.” She says sternly. “You’re going home. And to bed.”

“Bed?” I scoff. “Without dinner? Surely I haven’t behaved that poorly.”

“Making policemen cry is a time out worthy offense.” She grins at me.

I snort. “Now that-” I point at her. “That’s funny.”

She nods. “You are going to bed, though. You’ve suffered an extreme emotional outburst, an arrest, and sedation. I think you’ll find the action most appealing.”

Fine, fine. Bed is fine.

“Alright.”

“Also…”

Something dawns on me.

“Johnny.” I stop walking. “Laura-“

She grabs my arm again, trying to make me move...

“Johnny’s fine.” She assures slowly, making me look at her with her free hand. “He’s fine. One of Reed’s friends got in contact with me. There was a complication, but he’s fine.”

“He…” He died. That’s what that was. “Laura- he died.” I try to reason, pulling away from her. The road and sidewalk start to blend together. “I’ve got to go to him- I’ve got-

“He’s in orbit- Daken. You can’t.”

I feel like I’m going to faint.

“But…” Definitely going to faint. I feel it.

“Easy!” She yelps. “Easy!” Laura steadies me. “You’re… you don’t faint.”

NO…. I don’t. But I’ll bet Johnny does.

“I… think he does.”

Laura nods. “Alright…. So he gained your healing- which is what I’m trying to tell you Daken- and you gained his ability to be faint?”

Some trade off.

“Sometimes” I Ponder. “He’ll be able to push things off onto me.”

“Well…. Don’t let him right now.” She puts a hand around my waist. “Let me call a taxi first.”

Things spin so quickly. “He… died? He died?” I keep repeating.

“We can call it ‘fainting’ if you’d like.” She offers.

“no…no.” I try to take a step, but End up leaning on her again. “X- “

One of the many taxis on the road see’s Laura’s upheld hand and stops for us.

She pushes me into the back seat and tells the man where to go.

“I’m taking you home.” She soothes to me, pushing some hair out of my face as I semi-slump, semi fall, into her lap. “You’re going to bed. Johnny will be here by the time you wake up and You and he can sort this out together.”

“Laura- “

“You’re fine,” Laura says gently. “He’s fine. The two of you are living and functional. We’ll get you home, get you to sleep, and he’ll most likely join you as soon as he gets in.”

Things go black again.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He… he’s so warm. And his skins so soft...

he’s everything I want to have.

he’s everything I wish to be in some instances.…. Like asleep- at the moment. I don’t know when he got back, but he’s passed out. I’m sure it was a long mission.

He’s shirtless- arm thrown over my waist- Blond hair mussed from sleep…. He makes a nice picture. I should wake him up and tell him just how nice.

In fact- I think I’ll do that.

I run my hand through the sleep spiked hair. “Hey,”

I go to nudge him… but he’s not moving. I reach him, and his chest doesn’t rise. I shake him and his eyes don’t open.

“Johnny!” I’m calling his name over and over and he won’t answer me.

“Johnny!” Pounding on his chest- but there’s no response.

There’s no….

Why does the room smell like pancakes?

Where…. This isn’t my bedroom.

This…

I look around and realize that the bed is in a sterile lab-like setting. Complete with an observation window.

Someone’s watching me.

“Pancakes?” I turn my head away from Johnny to see Ben standing there with a plate. He offers the plate he’s holding towards me.

“…Johnny-” I point to him on the bed, but when I turn around, he’s gone. “Johnny??”

“Dissolved into the bed.” Ben shakes his head. “Lazy kid.”

“Lazy-” I blink once, trying to rationalize that statement. “‘Dissolved’??”

“Right into the bed.” The orange man nods. “Must be Monday.”

“mon- that doesn’t make any sense.” I try to reason. “Where is Johnny?”

“Calm down kid.” The man laughs. “Eat some.”

“I don’t want to-“

The room starts to shift- the floor becoming some kind of liquid. Ben doesn’t seem fazed.

The bed starts to rock back and forth. I crawl into the middle of it as the room fills up.

“Look at you.” Ben chuckles. “Going for a swim? Must be Monday.”

“What the fuck are you talking about???” I demand, voice high pitched as the bed begins to float.

 

I wake with a start.

There’s something comforting at my back. Something…

Breathe. Calm down- it’s him. He’s breathing- he’s fine.

“Hey.” His voice says in my ear. “Did you miss me?”

“Johnny.” I exhale. Finally, something that makes sense.

The arm around my waist tightens. “The one and only. Have a bad dream?”

“Eh… that’s not important.”

I have questions for him.

“‘Not important’.” he mocks. “Always important. I know how much dreams upset you.”

“It was fine,” I assure. “Not ‘bad’. Just weird.”

He squeezes around my waist. “Alright then.”

I smile. “What-” No wrong question. “Are you okay?”

He buries his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. “You smell awesome.”

“Are you okay?” I repeat.

“Like… me.” He kisses my neck. “Did you use my shower gel?”

“How are you??” I say slowly, stretching out the word.

He sighs. “Picked up a little something from you, cuddle bug.”

“Cuddle bug?” I hiss. “What the hell Johnny.”

“That’s what you’ve been doing since I got in here.” He teases. “I feel like I should get you a teddy bear. You squeeze the shit out of me when you're sleeping.”

“I do not ‘cuddle’.” I try to defend. This is one nickname that sure as fuck won’t be sticking.

‘Baby’ took me a while to get used to. ‘Honey’… that one I kind of like. I don’t know why- but it’s got a charm to it. It sounds cute when he says it.

I wonder if he thinks it’s weird That I haven’t tried to give him a pet name. He once stupidly asked if I could call him something ‘cute and Japanese like a dragon’.I punched him for coming off racist.

He kisses my neck a few times in quick procession. “Where’s your hand oh mighty cuddler?”

“My….?” I look down and notice it clutched to his arm. “Fuck you.”

“The mighty bad ass turns out to be-” He teases while nuzzling me. “A cuddle bug.”

“I hate that,” I growl.

He snorts, “That’s why I keep saying it.”

None of this is what we need to be focusing on.

He’s turned up the ‘silly’ in the room by about fifty percent. I’m going to need him to be a little more serious.

“Johnny- stop distracting me.” I chide. “What happened?? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” he smiles. “It feels good to be home.”

He’s so fucking happy…. This isn’t normal Johnny happy. Something…. Something’s wrong.

“I felt you die.” I try again.

“We should go see a movie.” he counters.

“Johnny- I felt it.” I press. “Why aren’t you talking about it?”

Johnny runs a hand through his hair. “I’m fine-Daken. Relax.”

“Not until you tell me what happened,” I growl.

He puts a hand on my face. “Calm down.” There’s a feeling of contentment that washes over me. “Ease up, baby,” he says gently. “I’m fine. Relax.” He kisses me again. “I told you- I picked something up from you.”

“….”

“Can you guess?” He sounds playful still, but it’s a little less.

“…Healing factor?” I hazard.

He nods. “Yup. Scared the shit out of me.”

“Why did you need it?? Who killed you??”

“The aliens and I got into a disagreement. I kinda ran my mouth.” He says in a voice I can’t decipher. “What about you? Laura says you freaked out when it happened. You destroyed the coffee shop on fifth?? I liked that one.”

“….Ya.” I murmur.

“…Anyone get hurt?” he asks gently.

I shake my head.

“Did it spread?” he continues.

“…. I don’t know.”

He nods and sits in silence for a moment, holding me more tightly than before. 

“I’ve got some things for you,” he says sweetly after a few moments. “Space things. Maybe that will make you feel a little better.”

He goes to remove himself from the bed, but I latch onto his arm.

He clucks his tongue. “More cuddling Mr. ‘I don’t cuddle’?”

“Shut up.” I grin. “Don’t go yet.”

I can allow a little playful now. He’s answered my questions after all.

“You misssssssed meee.” He sings.

I snort. “Maybe.”

“You missed me a lot.” He sits back on the bed. “You wanted to see me. And you wanted to hold me…. and I bet you wanted to- “

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” I chuckle.

“Kiss me.” he finishes. “Dirty mind.”

“And yet I haven’t got to yet.” I tease.

The room is too dark to really notice anything… but the scent is familiar enough. Home. We’re home.

“Well…” he drawls… “That’s because you fell asleep on your side. Now you’re stuck that way. If you didn’t cuddle so much- you’d be fine.”

“Will you drop the cuddling?” I sigh in exasperation.

“Chalk it up to you being ‘cute’ again.”

“Me being cute??” I curl into blankets. “You’re like a damn puppy,” I complain.

He snorts. “I missed you too.”

“Then lay back down.” I tease.

He grins. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for an hour- Daken. I came straight from the Baxter Building here- lemme stretch my legs.” He smiles- but there’s an amount of tiredness around it.

I can feel him in my head…. Tired. It’s so much that he’s pushing it back through our connection…. Like he did with the fainting. We’ll have to sit down and figure out how this works.

So he’s tired, but he’s not acting like ‘sleepy’ Johnny- who’s very much childish and easily provoked. It’s like he’s toned up his cheer for some reason.

He’s….

“You’re oddly cheerful today.” I ponder out loud.

He raises an eyebrow. “I’m happy to see you.”

There was a hint of panic in him… his heart started to race.

he’s… he’s hiding something. Something’s happened that he’s not telling me.

“I thought you’d be a little more tired.”

“The wonders of love.” he teases. “Giving me all kinds of strength.”

I snort. “How charming.”  
He takes his hand and pats my side. “You okay?” He asks gently.

“I’m fine,” I assure. “You, though-” I say pointedly, “…. You’re hiding something.”

He freezes, going rigid. “Daken- “

“Did something happen?”

“Daken- please. Let’s not get right into this- okay? Let me relax a little.”

“What happened?” I try again, panic setting in. There is something! I knew it. He’s… he’s probably in danger.

He sighs. “Let me show you what I got you…. Okay? It’s part of the explanation.”

“…Alright.”

He smiles and walks over to the other side of the room, messing around in a bag on the floor.

He comes back with a large…. Stone of some sort. A precious stone at that.

It’s beautiful- to say the least. Black with swirls of blues and greens- it looks like a solar system…. Like it’s made up of stars. It looks smooth as glass and emits a small kind of glow- reflecting the low lights coming from the city outside through my window.

“It’s beautiful.” And… familiar.

Johnny smiles. “You like it?”

“Yes.” I continue to stare.

“Here.” He takes it and holds it out towards me. “Touch it.”

My fingers trace down its facets. It’s smooth like glass and cold- almost eerily so. And… the whole time… the whole time it’s nagging me in the back of my head. I’ve seen this before.

I take it from him- feeling how heavy it is in my hand.

It’s so…eerie. I… I must have seen this…. I’ve got a clear comparison in my head… but a comparison to what? How many space items does one come into contact with? Surely I’d remember something this beautiful.

Where would I have seen this? This pattern…. This beauty- the feel of it- where did I….

I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It’s too familiar….

I get the image of some kind of bedroom…. Everything larger than it should have been. It was on a pedestal in the corner of the room. IT… it was his. I touched it once and lost a hand for the transgression…. I couldn’t have been more than twelve… it’s so smooth. I just had to touch it.

“…. Have you seen it before?” He asks quietly.

I look at him for an explanation.

“Baby?”

“Where did this come from?” I ask in a tone that I don’t usually reserve for him.

“Space.” He says simply. “You’ve seen it before?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

No. how could it…. Why would it…

“Where did you get this?” I ask quietly.

“I told you.”

“I mean…” I stop, a sudden wave of fear hitting me. “Who gave this to you?”

Johnny stares at me. “The aliens.”

“What did they look like?”

He pauses for a minute. “Tell me where you’ve seen it first.” He prompts.

I hand the stone back to him…. It’s beautiful- but I don’t want to look at it anymore.

I look away from him.

“You saw this growing up.” He prompts. “Didn’t you?”

“Who gave this to you?” I ask.

“Hon-“

“Johnny this is important.” He can’t understand why I’m asking…. He can’t. But if there’s…. if there’s a possibility that he’s…. NO. There isn’t. Logan doesn’t mess around. When he kills something- it stays dead.

…. but I didn’t- did I.

“Relax…okay? Relax.” He seems to not understand.

“Johnny- who gave this to you???” I yell.

He gets a look of understanding, accepting my outburst. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t him baby. I promise.”

I…. I “How do know? What did they look like- tell me.” I put my hand on my face, feeling the need to claw at it. I’m so… so fucking anxious. It’s almost choking me. I need something physical to counteract it.

He quickly takes my hand it holds it away from my face. “It was a woman- small. And a man- also small.” He squeezes my hand. “The man was blonde, the woman was a brunette, and they hissed like snakes. They had no claws. They were average sized…. their nails were normal length. Their eyes were green- “

He knows why I’m asking. That…

“He wasn’t there.” He assures, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it. “Don’t claw yourself.”

 I tug uselessly on my hand.

“You still feel clawy.” He says gently. “Lemme hold your hand for a while.”

Things race through my head too quick to recognize as rational thoughts. “Aliens,” I say out loud.

“Yup.” He kisses my knuckles a few times. “Aliens. Calm down.”

I tug at my hand again.

 “If I let your hand go to you promise to be calm? I feel how anxious you are…. Be calm for me.”

“…Alright?”

“So he had one?” Johnny asks, kissing my hand again before releasing it.

 “Yes.” I supply. “It was red.”

Johnny nods- sitting down and setting the stone on the bed. “Baby… you’re not going to like this.”

I feel a cold terror sneak into my mind. “No?” I glance around the room in a panic. “Then don’t tell me.”

“Daken- you need to hear this.”

I take my hand and cover one of my ears. “I don’t want to.”

“Gimme your hand.” He soothes.

“Please don’t tell me,” I beg. “I don’t want to know.”

“Let me start by saying this- you are in no danger.”

I shake my head violently.

“Gimme your hand.” He repeats, prying it off of my face. “Claws in- alright?” He asks. “I know your upset…. But I can’t take getting stabbed again.”

 We’re silent for a second. “They…” My voice sounds hoarse. “They stabbed you?”

“And poisoned me.” He takes my hand in his and runs his thumb over my knuckles.

“Give my hand back.” I try to reason.

“Nope.” He squeezes it. “You have a beautiful face. I’m not going to let you scratch it up.”

“Johnny.” I sigh. “Why- why did you have to go to space?”

“So they wouldn’t just nuke the planet and call it done.” He says gently.

“And the aliens…. They- they….” I don’t know what to ask. I’ve never encountered aliens before.

“They’re beautiful,” Johnny says gently. “Like supermodels. They have a hiss behind their words when they’re excited and they said they can see auras. The woman also said that they’re carnivorous… and I pretty much got them to admit that they’re cannibals.”  
“….”

“They have weapons like you’d see in a video game.” He continues. “That’s what I got stabbed with.”

“And they…. They have the stones. The same one’s master had.” I feel like I’m going to be sick.

He nods. “Your master…. He had one because he’d met the aliens before….”

“I... I don’t remember any…” I stop. “What are they calling them?”

Johnny does a quiet laugh. “I can’t pronounce it so I’ve been calling them ‘snake people’.”

I grant him half a smile. “They knew my master?”

“They knew more than that.”

Breathe. These aliens- they have to bleed. If they come to us- I can kill them. If they endanger me or Johnny- I can end it. I have my healing factor... I have my claws. I can take care of myself. “Like what?”

“They knew about you. They knew about our bond…. the lady,” He inhales. “She saw it on me. She said I was carrying a piece of you. She said that he’d had the same thing.”

I shake my head a few times to clear it.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

“Honey-“

“Why did you have to say that??” I demand.

Johnny wraps his arms around me, keeping my hand in his and holding it tight. “They’re not done. They said that they were still in a treaty with your master. And since I now had you and he might be dead- I had a part of him and his power. So now they’re going to negotiate the treaty with me.”

“His… power?”

He nods. “…Do I?”

“…How fast did you heal?” I question. It seems better to be practical right now. I don't much like being scared. If we can deal with facts instead of feelings ... I think I'll be okay.

“…. I uh… didn’t count.”

If it was a stab wound…. “Where did they stab you?”

“Through the stomach I think.” He ponders.

I wretch myself from him and push him backwards on the bed, lifting his shirt up quickly.

“Whoa!” He yelps. “Okay… cool. You wanna see me shirtless- “

I chuckle. “There’s no scarring. How long ago did you get stabbed?”

“Like a day.” He says carefully. “It totally cut the rest of our negotiations short.”

He leans forward, pushing me off of him. “So…. What can you tell?”

“I’m trying to see if you healed like me… or him.”

Johnny’s mouth goes into a small ‘o’ of surprise. “Well…. We’ve got some time to figure it out before negotiations. Apparently they have some stuff to bring with them.

No…. no. They… they can’t. They can’t.

“They’re… coming here?”

“They said they did this before… when you and he first joined. They said it was a celebration. Apparently you’re the only person to survive this process…. Like across the galaxy.”

“Johnny-“ I feel breathless… “Oh Johnny- I-“

“Breathe.” He soothes. “Just breathe.”

I don’t like aliens. I don’t like them at all. I don’t want to meet them… and I sure as hell don’t want to celebrate with them.

His hand holding mine squeezes a little. “They said they’d met you before.” He continues.

I nod. I don’t disbelieve him. “…. I’m guessing they wiped my mind?” I try to sound collected.

From the look on his face I know that I’ve failed.

He nods. “You’re a lot cooler with that than you seem to be with everything else.” He comments.

He sits all the way up and wraps his arms around me again.

I just sigh. “I’ve been brainwashed more times than I can count.” I say dismissively.

“I’m sure this will come back to you.” He says gently. “The woman has scars from your last meeting…. little scars. Like you didn’t have your full set of claws yet.”

“.. I was a child?”

He nods. “That’s what she said.”

I lean into him. “When are they coming?”

He kisses the side of my head. “Three weeks.”

“…. When do we kill them?” I ask quietly.

“The second things go south.” He answers without hesitation.

“And you- “

He smirks. “I can heal babe.”

“And…?”

“I can heal.” He says again.

Something starts to dawn on me….

We could be….

We could be the next him.

Our power…. But in a different way. This is completely different. We could do something good. We could…

I could make something good.

“Johnny…”

“I know. We’re getting pretty awesome- aren’t we?” He winks at me.

“You… you could be the next-“

“No.” He says sternly. “Not the ‘next’ him. We’re something different entirely. He paved the way with this shit? Fine. We’re going to look at that road and then we’re going off-roading- got me? We’ll look at it and then do everything in our power to stay off of it.”

“Off roading?”

“He was a shadow dweller.” Johnny says gently. “We won’t be. We’ll take this thing into the light. We’ll use it out in the open…. we’ll do the good he refused to do.”

“…. But the power- “

“Power is nothing.” He brings his hand in front of me, holding up his fore finger and lighting it. The flame flickers in the darkness of the room. “I have powers he couldn’t have dreamed of. He’s shadow- I’m light.” He smiles.

“And me…?”

“You,” He extinguishes his finger and takes it to my face, “Have the privilege of having been a little of both. I won’t make you do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He kisses the side of my head.

“I want…. I want to do something…. Something- not bad? “I wince at the phrasing.

“The force is strong with this one.” He snickers.

I punch his shoulder. “Shut up, Johnny.”

“You want to do something good.” He says a little more seriously. “We can do that- baby. We’ll start with the aliens and see where it goes from there- okay?”

I smile at the thought of that. Doing something that’s not bad. Something that people can see as…. Something with him. Something different.

Yes. Something different.

He could amass more of Romulus’ powers. I myself don’t know the full extent of them…. He had secrets even from me. Maybe…. Maybe there’s something written down a bout this bond….

Maybe there’s something written about his powers….

“Johnny- “

Johnny looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “Some weird thoughts going on over there.” He comments.

“What if master…. Wrote some of this down?”

“…Oh?”

“He’s…. he’s gone. His compound is empty. I could… I could get us there.”

He nods. “O- okay. Yea. Sure. Great idea!” He praises me. It feels good “If you’re ready for it- that is.”

“O..of course I’m ready.” I laugh nervously.

Johnny squeezes me. “Babe… you still don’t use his name around me…. Do you know that?”

“Uh-“

“It’s always ‘master’. Did you notice? You said it like five times when we were talking about the aliens.”

“Well….” It’s… respectful. But- wait, wait! I’m not supposedly to be respectful to him. He’s dead. I’m… I’m.

“I know his name, of course.” Johnny says, making my heart stop. “The aliens brought it up.”

“Oh…”

“I’ve just been warned not to say it around you.” He kisses my cheek. “And now you want to go digging in his things?”

“…yes?”

“Let’s give it a week- okay?” Johnny asks gently. “A week for us to rest and try to figure some of this bonding stuff out on our own. Then we’ll get a team together and go check it out.”

This gentleness is almost cruel. It’s so sweet…. So… I’m so undeserving.

I lean over and kiss him, startling him. I never initiate anything that isn’t sex related.

I need to impart onto him how much he means…. How much this means…. The fact that he’s the best thing to ever happen to me.

Johnny relaxes into the kiss , returning it lazily.

“Cuddle bug.” He hisses when we break apart.

Still mere inches from his face, I can’t help but smirk. “ You’re ruining the moment.”

He chuckles. “Shutting up.” And he kisses me back.


	14. I won't pretend to know (The challenges you're facing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a early morning

I won’t pretend to know what goes on his head. I have neither the experience nor the years to even guess.

Every hint he gives is completely hidden behind layers of things he wants me to think he’s feeling. He knows that emotion wise- I have a direct link into his mind. The pain- there’s no other words to describe it- it’s pain- I can feel with my own mind is hidden by deceitful layers of cold indifference.

I will say this- it’s getting to the point where I can figure some of it out. Like tonight- tonight is obvious. He’s given so much away already that I’d have to be a complete idiot not to connect the dots.

He’s on the small porch like balcony his apartment offers him. Shirtless back to me as he stares over the city. He looks calm…

That’s where the deceit comes in. In reality? In reality- His mind is racing…. Panicking. I’m surprised he’s even breathing regularly at this point… but then I’m not exactly close enough to see any breathing irregularities.

If I were to get close to him- I’d feel how sweaty he is. How clammy his skin feels. I felt it briefly when we were in the bed.

The bed room…. Thank god the claws stayed in this time.  
He had a bad dream…. One so bad that he called out a name in his sleep.

His name.

The name he won’t say to me mumbled repeatedly in a fevered like state of panic. Like a prayer almost.

That name- over and over. ‘please, please, please’. Each one killing me. A thousand ‘don’ts‘ mixed in sparsely.

Why? Why does this happen to him? Why does this have to happen? Can’t he achieve some sense of peace… even if it’s just long enough for him to get some sleep? Eight hours. All he needs is a peaceful eight hours.

Selfishly I think ‘why won’t he talk to me about this… why does he block of this part of his life from me?’

I’ve been blocking my own mind from him… kinda trying to dull his senses to me- if it works like that.

I take a step onto the carpet, inching closer to the open doors. I haven’t approached him since the bedroom. I tried my best to keep him in bed… I kissed his sweat drenched forehead… I ran my fingers over his trembling, flushed, skin. Nothing could keep him with me. Nothing.

“I can smell you.” His voice is distant.

“I know you can.” I take another step. “Can I talk to you?”

He looks over his shoulder at me. “You’re already talking to me.”

“Can I talk to you about the bed room?” I try again.

His mind is whirring as more panic settles in the room. Come on pheromones. Behave for just a little while longer…. At least let me get close to him. “You can’t be mad at me for talking in my sleep.” He sighs, I can see how tense he’s holding his shoulders. “I couldn’t help it.”

“Mad?” I try to laugh at him, but fail. “Honey, I’m not mad.”

“Right.” He scoffs. “You got out of bed and followed me because you’re totally okay with it.”

“I’m not mad- and I’m not okay with it.” I offer. “I’m something else.”

“What else is there?” More panic. He sounds so cold, though.

Let me in. Let me take care of you.

I stop a few feet back from him. “Worried? Concerned? Honey- you were screaming.”

“Nightmares happen.” He looks ahead, hand clasped over his mouth and his composure starting to reek of fear. “It’s part of life.”

Why won’t you let me take care of you?

“Yes… but not like that.” I stand just on the brink of the doorway. “Can I come over to you… or do you still need space?”

Daken clears his throat. “I need some space.”

Okay… not what I was expecting- but I did offer. “Alright…. Do you need me to leave or- “?

He’s shaking his head. He turns back partially, putting his hand on the railing. “Go back to bed.” He fails to smile at me. “I’m fine.”

‘Fine’ wouldn’t be leaning on that rail so heavily. “Alright.” I offer him a smile and tentatively go back to his bed room.

Screaming… he was screaming.

It was earth shatteringly terrifying to listen to.

I pad over to the other side of the room where King sleeps. The dog whines at his confinement. “Can’t guard him against that… can we boy?” I muse. “Nope. We can’t keep him safe.”

Nope. Can’t protect him from what’s been done to him. Can’t… do anything. I can hold a bandage to the gaping wounds…. Apply pressure. Stitch him up on his bad days…. It would take a life time of my actions to even put a dent on.... the others.

I think about him so often …. What he would look like. I’ve only seen glimpses from Daken’s dreams… and he’s been shutting me out so quickly lately.

Tall…. Large. Monstrous even. He could get in Daken’s mind…. Daken couldn’t have privacy in his own thoughts. How terrifying that must have been for him.

He never meant for Daken to survive him. He never meant for Daken to have anything but HIM. How selfish does a person have to be to form another person's entire being around themselves? Did he ever stop and see Daken as he was- a person…. Or was he just a means to an end? Did this man ever look at that small child and see exactly what he was looking at…. Or did he just see a weapon? Something that had to be drained of it’s humanity and emptions to…

I feel a few tears drip from my eyes.

I’m angry. I’m infuriated. I want this mans head. I want…. I want justice. I want to drag him up and have him answer for every misdeed he’s committed. I want to look him in the face while he begs for mercy and then show him that for him- there is none.

…but that’s not my jurisdiction. Fuck- that’s not even Daken’s jurisdiction. That’s Logan’s… and as much as Daken hates the idea… I think he may need consulted.

I was talking to Laura the other day and she was casually texting with him…. Like it was nothing. I guess for her- it is nothing. She asked random snippets of Daken laced information while doing so- and I didn’t think anything about it at the time… but she probably wasn’t asking for herself.

Just a few simple things like ‘how’s the prosthetic coming along?’ or ‘how is he coping with the depth perception ‘thing’ ‘. Laura doesn’t say ‘thing’ when describing something. That should have been a clue that Logan was prying.

Getting in touch with him would be as simple as texting her. I could do it now. In fact,

I wipe my eyes and walk over to the side table where my phone is located.

I hesitate at my home screen for a second before sighing and strengthening my resolve.

‘are you awake?’

Simple. Simple. She probably isn’t- right? There’s no way she would be.

I’ll put the phone down. I’ll put the phone down and figure this out on my own.

That’s exactly what I’ll….

It vibrates in my hand.

Shit. That could be an email, though. That could be Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Any one of those notifications.

I look at it carefully with held breath.

It’s her.

‘surprisingly- yes. Did you need something?’

I inhale.

I put a gentle probe out through our connection. Small enough to where he wouldn’t feel it. He’s so… sad. So… up rooted.

‘I need you to get a message to someone for me.’

Send. Too late to take it back.

She doesn’t leave me waiting. ‘someone you wouldn’t want someone else to know about?’

Smart girl. ‘he woke up screaming tonight…. Screaming. I need to talk to Logan. Face to face. Daken’s not going to tell me about this and I don’t want to force him too.’

‘and you think Logan will be easier to talk to?’ I can’t really judge Laura well enough to imagine what kind of facial expression she’d be wearing at this.

‘he knows more than Daken. Daken needs closure.’

‘…. what do you want the message to say?’

That makes me think. What do I want to say?? ‘ask him to explain this Romulus thing…. If he can. Daken needs me to understand this- but he can’t tell me in ways I can get.’

There’s silence. From across the room, the dog whines for attention. I’m… I’m going to have to let him out to stretch. He’s already awake. He could probably use a walk while we’re at it.

He’s still outside. I can feel all of his sorrow… and just plain confusion. I want to go to him…. But he won’t let me right now. He doesn’t need to be smothered.

“If we’re supposed to be helping him… we’re doing a shit job.” I mutter to the dog- opening his confinement and letting him bound out onto the floor. He’s grown a good bit since I brought him here…. He jumps on my shins with a good amount of force, making me stumble back a little. “Down boy.” I chuckle.

The tan and black fur monster jumps onto the bed and rolls on the blankets. “Hey!” I grab his collar and try to pull him off, but miss terribly and end up with a face full of blankets. “Off the bed.” I hiss at him. “Daken doesn’t let you on the bed!” He licks my face and pounces on the pillows…. and I just bet Daken’s going to love smelling that later.

Those soft eyes just stare at me. “Off.” I point.

King crouches on his front paws with his tail wagging in the air. “Off!” I hiss.  
There’s a shift through our connection… he’s so tired out there. I don’t know what I was thinking with the damn dog. I have to put it back to bed so he can sleep.

“King.” I hiss, ‘get off the bed.”  
The phone vibrates in my hand… but it’s not Laura’s number.

‘name a time and a place. Don’t bring him with you.’

I exhale through my nose- still glaring at the dog. Fine. We’re doing this. ‘tomorrow morning.’ Well technically- today then. ‘seven’.

‘where?’

Where could I go that Daken wouldn’t want to follow? It’s gonna be early- so he’ll be asleep anyway.

‘your place.’

‘don’t bring him to this school.’

‘he’s not coming.’ I assure.

There’s a silence for a second, letting me point absentmindedly at the floor- still trying to reign King in.

‘don’t be late. I gotta class to teach at 8.’

‘sure.’

Sure. Sure. Going behind Daken’s back after I told him I wouldn’t…. to Logan of all people. That’s one rift he might never be able to repair… and here I am- his lover. His partner. His dominant- running to his father. His estranged father.

I feel the start of a shit storm brewing.

“Get off the bed King!” I snap- done with this shit for right now. Anxiety is weighing down on me hard enough to make my mind spin...

The dog does manage to jump down off the mattress- but it’s only to run over to the closet and grab a shoe. In the dark I can’t tell if it’s Daken’s or mine… if it’s mine- fine. If it’s Daken- he’s going to go full Cruella DeVille on the poor misguided thing.

“Gimme that,” I growl, losing patience.

King bends down again and gives the shoe a good shake before bounding off into the living room…. Which is the absolute last place I want him to go right now.

In his mad dash to get away from me, he runs smack into the coffee table, tipping it over on its side and causing the loudest imaginable noise.

I walk into the room wincing already. Daken’s turned around and staring at the dog… and I can’t read his face.

He walks over… and I swear to god I’m sweating.

He mumbles something in Japanese and King sits down immediately. Another phrase and he drops the shoe. Daken bends down and pets his head, talking quietly to him.

it’s… not what I was expecting.

“Daken….” I edge closer to him. “Are you alright?”

He looks up from King. “Yes.”

“…I don’t think you are.” I try again.

“I’m fine.” He says something else to King. A simple order which has the dog leaving the room- heading back towards the bed room.

“No, you’re not.”

He stays down in his crouched position. “What do you want me to say?” He asks evenly.

“I want you to tell me what you’re not telling me.” I bend down with him.

“I tell you everything.” He tries to grouse but it falls flat.

“No you don’t.” I take his hand in mine. “We’ve got three weeks- Daken. Three weeks to figure this bond out. Three weeks to make a plan…. Three weeks to get all this shit together.”

He nods. “I know that.”

“We can’t do this is if we don’t know how to start…. The only person who was there the first time this happened….” I prompt him with a waving motion of my hand.

“…was me.” He finishes.

I nod. “And I can’t possibly know how to use this if I don’t know how it was used before.”

“We can go back to the compound and- “

I stop him, putting a hand on his face. “I don’t think you’ll survive a trip to that compound.” I offer him a sad smile. “Not in one piece anyway.”

“…. It’s just a bad dream, Johnny.” He tries to redirect my worry. “Give me twenty minutes. I’ll be fine.”

I rub my thumb over the knuckles of the hand I’m holding. “You’ve had thirty minutes already.”

He readjusts his legs, putting his knees flat on the floor. I’m tracking his movements- but I’m shocked when he leans forward and places his head against my chest.

“Why do you have to worry like this?” He exhales into my chest.

I readjust my own legs and put an arm around his back. “Because you need me too.”

“You’ll never be happy like this.” He sighs. “Never.”

I put a hand under his chin. “I’m happy now.” I correct.  
He’s tense again. “I… can’t tell you, Johnny. I can’t.”

“I know.” I soothe. “I know you can’t. YOU don’t have the words.”

He presses against me in a firmer way and makes a small hum of annoyance. “I…”

I wait for him.

“I know who can.” He says with much deliberation.

So do I…. and I’ve already looked into it.

My heart skips a few beats. IS he going to give me permission to do this?

“Ya?” I ask with a smile.

He nods. “We have three weeks.”

I nod back at him. “Three weeks.”

“He can answer your questions.”

He. He won’t even say his name.

“So….” I clear my throat. “Are we talking about the same ‘he’ or is there- “

“Same one.”

“Maybe you should clarify… for the kids in the back?” I try to get him to smile.

“You know who I’m talking about.” He grouses. “Go to his school or some shit. Find out what you need to know. Just…” He falters, his voice fading a little. “Just don’t make me see him.”

“I won’t.” I wrap my other arm around him. “I’ll go tomorrow…. Is there anything you don’t want me to tell him?”

“…. Leave out the nightmares…. And the ‘softness’…. let him think I’m the same- “

“You’re not the same.” I cut him off. “IT’s okay if he sees that you’ve changed.”

Daken winces. “Then leave out the arm. And the eye.”

Laura probably already told him. But I don’t mention this.

“Alright.”

“Tell him to stay away.” Daken presses. “I don’t need his help.”

“Alright,” I repeat.

“Tell him that I’m only allowing you to do this to help you understand something that can’t be understood. You’ll talk to him and it will be over. You’ll understand what I’m trying to help you see.” he sounds a little out of breath. “You’ll…. You’ll… you’ll find out where he is. You’ll know. You’ll have to know. You’ll… please. Please find out where he is for me.”

Where ‘he’ is?

I doubt he’s talking about Logan.

“Honey… I thought you thought that  Romulus was dead.” I try to soothe him.

Daken…. Shakes. He shakes his head too. “I… don’t think he is.”

"When did you change your mind....?" I could pretty much guess on my own. 

"Tonight." he says quietly. 

 

“Baby-“

“Please find out for me,” he says even more quietly. “Logan… he won’t tell me anything about him.”

I don’t know what else to say…. So I just nod.

“Promise me,” Daken says, sounding breathless again. His mind whirs in panic. “Promise me you’ll find him.”

“I promise,” I promise to bring you his fucking head…. I promise to keep you so far out of his reach…

but he’s dead.

Daken’s just talking like this because of the nightmare.

It has to be just because of the bad dream.

“You should go to bed,” he says gently. “You’re tired.”

I actually feel fine. “No, I’m not.” I smile at him. “I can stay up with you.”

“I need time to process this.” He smiles at me. “I’ll be fine. Go to bed.”

I could force my presence, but I try with this, “Why don’t you come to bed and process there?”

Daken stares at me for a second. “Is that an order?”

I think on it. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.” I run my thumb across his cheek- loosening my hold on his face.

“Decide please.” he barely breathes this. It’s hard to hear.

“Order.” I settle on. “Come to bed and lay down. You’ll feel better.”

Daken sighs. “If you say so.”

I help him to his feet, on hand under his arm and the other on his waist.

“I can get up on my own, Johnny.” He grouses.

“I know you can.” I brush off his grumpiness.

I march him back to his room, looking around for a second. “Where’s the dog?”

Daken points to the cage. “I sent him to ‘bed’.”

“Ah.”

“And now you’re sending me to bed.” he grouses. “Like the dog.”

“No,” I correct, kissing his cheek. “I’m sending you to bed like a person. See?” I gently push him to the mattress. “Doggies don’t go on the bed.”

He stiffens at that for some reason. “Noted.”

“Hey,” He looks so … scared? Why does he look scared? “Hey, Daken.” I capture his face again. “It’s okay. Alright? This is your bed. This is your home. You’re safe here.”

“I’m never safe.” He says quietly. “IF he’s alive- “

“Why do you suddenly think he’s alive?” I question with a bit of annoyance behind my words.

Daken looks away from me.

“Why Daken?”

He looks back. “I… felt something.”

I laugh a little. “Honey- you just woke up from a nightmare. It’s all in your head.”

He looks away.

Please let all be in his head. 

I mean, we always knew it was a possibility that he was alive. ... I even told the Alien's that he might be. 

I guess I just never entertained the thought of him being alive alive. 

I kiss his forehead gently. “Daken-” He looks at me. “This is in your head. You’re fine… alright? We’re going to go to sleep- you’ll wake up in the morning- and you’ll be fine.”

He stares at me for a second before nodding. “You’re right…. Of course you’re right.” He sighs, laying back against the pillows. “It’s just a dream.”

“Just a dream.” I repeat.

I'm lying.

If he's alive.... then there is no safe way to put this. 

Why has he gone quiet? Where is he? Where could he be hiding? What does this mean for Daken? 

He smiles a faint smile. “Goodnight.”

I smile back at him. “I’ll stay awake until you’re out.”

As he closes his eyes, I try not to let a shiver run up my spine.

I need to talk to Logan… especially now…

And I need to ask the burning question now. IS he alive? Do I have the chance to come face to face with the man who crafted the very psychological makeup of the man I love? What do I do if I do come face to face with him? What sin wouldn’t I commit to see that Daken was safe?

For Daken’s sake- I hope I get the answer I want.

For my sake I hope a get the answer I want.

And it’s all resting on a conversation I have to have with Logan… who might not tell me anything useful.

I guess it’s a chance I’m going to have to take anyway.

With the Romulus thing so close to his mind- I understand why Daken would want me to talk to Logan. I was a little shocked when the idea came out of his mouth… but I can understand his reasoning behind it now.

Beside me, he’s breathing evens out. I prod a little with my mind and feel that he’s semi- peaceful.

I scoot myself more into the bed, kicking the covers a little before settling in and bringing them to mine and Daken’s chests. He tosses a little at the movement but otherwise stays sleeping.

I want to protect him- I do. And he’s giving me a means….

But I can’t fight his nightmares for him. I can’t tell him it’s all going to be okay when I know it might not be.

I’m his lover- his partner. He needs me to be honest with him. And we’re getting into some serious shit here.

If Logan has answers- great.

IF he doesn’t… I guess I go and find my own.

That’s all I can do at this point. And if it’s all I can do- I’m going to make sure not to fuck it up.


	15. You've fucked up the flow of a perfectly good story is what you've done. Look at it. It's got dust all over it. The chapters are out of order. You gonna fix this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> Firstly, let me apologize for this taking a whole frickin' year and some change to update. That is a my bad of an extreme level.  
> Some time when this was updating on the regular, I switched computers for my graphic design course. Traded in my old mac for a fancy new one.  
> Somewhere in this trade, I lost all the chapters for this fic. I think I had like five prewritten.  
> When I lost them, I got discouraged and didn't bother rewriting them.  
> Fasttrack to last week when I found them again! Yay! 
> 
> Soooooooooooooooo.......... I really do hope this was worth the wait. So, so, Sorry. Usually, I only let chapters sit about five months at the longest. Which is still really long but hey- shit happens. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

Three weeks. We have three weeks.

Count off for this morning?

Three weeks.  
Two cups of shitty coffee.  
And one missing boyfriend.

Well not ‘missing’. More like in the presence of the one person on the planet I can’t see right now.

And ‘boyfriend’ sounds a little… inadequate for what we are.

He’s my…. Dom. My top. My….

Master.  
 One confused boyfriend/master.  
Two more cups of shitty coffee.  
Three missed phone calls from my ‘sibling’

What else is there to count?  
   
Well, it’s early morning and Johnny ‘scampered’ away without so much as a kiss… more like a peck on the cheek. So- let’s count that in there.

One missing ‘boyfriend’  
Two hours of sleeping in missed.  
Three additional missed calls from members of his family trying to run various ‘tests’ on us.  
And the addition of four days of rigidly enforced- order driven- chastity.

Which reads as four days of sexual frustration…. because when I’m in this ‘mood’ he perceives me to be in- he won’t touch me. He wants to soothe and comfort.

He’s nervous and I try to fuck him to soothe his nerves but he won’t allow it.

“Let’s take a bath,” he says when my fingers get too low. Not a shower- a bath. Intimate touches that lead to no sex. He pulls me to his chest and focuses on washing me. The way he positions us- I can’t reach him. When I try he orders me to sit still and ‘relax’. Relax my ass.  
 Three weeks. We’ve got three weeks and I’d like to do something to take my mind off of it. But- I’m in a ‘mood’. I’m ‘frantic’. He gets that look in his eyes. That soft one.  
   
It’s the killing blow for me. “I won’t fuck you like this.” He’ll say. “It would be taking advantage.”

Advantage? Advantage of what???

“Relax.” This is the point where he calms me down. He always has to calm me down- that’s how much control I’ve lost. I want to let go sometimes… I want to fill the people around me with exactly what I’m feeling. I want them to experience it so I don’t have to.

He’s not wrong about the panic thing, though. He knows what he’s talking about- but him knowing makes me feel like a caged animal.

His presence soothes that- but when he leaves, it just springs back to life in my head. Panic racing through my veins.

I know why. I know what I’m feeling. I know what’s happening.

I… I know. I have to know.  
 I have to-  
 Wait. Calm down. Think.

I have to exhale slowly, closing my eye to focus. “Three weeks. Two…” I stop. I don’t have ‘two’ to count anymore. “Two…”

I look down at the phone I’m holding. “Two missed texts. One ‘occupied’ boyfriend.” This is something new- something Sue actually said to try when I’m panicking. It’s an attempt to keep my pheromones in check.

Focus on something else.

Like….. what happens after the bath.

He does a thorough job of cleaning me- and when we’re out- Those blue puppy dog eyes- shining and sparkling- look at me with a look of tenderness I don’t deserve. “Lay down.” he’ll say.  
   
I lay on my stomach…. So I don’t have to see his display of tenderness.

He doesn’t care. He starts to massage me, going as far as to work some oils – that were not bought with the intention of massages- into my skin.

…the smell is amazing. It’s something I relate solely to comfort now- and damn Johnny for making it that way.  
 He takes my purely sexual things and gives them a new meaning. Nothing is simply ‘fuck to fuck’ anymore.

It used to be ‘upset?’ fuck. ‘sad?’ fuck. ‘angry?’ fuck vigorously.  
   
Not anymore. He knows me. He knows my games.

He draws me out of all the shields and walls I’ve used before. He looks at my masks and removes them from me- all while smiling.

My most treasured defenses- in some cases in the past- my only defenses; taken.

I try to act cold. I try to act indifferent. I try to conceal just how deeply I feel for him….

‘lay down with me’. he says.

I cherish each second of his body pressed against mine. Every nerve cries out for his touch.

‘talk to me’.

I choke over my words. I share emotions with him that I don’t even understand…. He is my most cherished thing on this planet. And that frightens me to no end.

I have played this game before.

I’m…. me. I don’t get the happy ending. I don’t get to ride off into the sunset.

I get a cold, well deserved, trip to the underworld. Cold nothingness.

The phone I’m clutching in my hand buzzes again, I turn it over, screen down, against the table.

I’ve been using the phone to keep track of the time- much to my dismay. It’s been three hours. What could Logan be telling him that takes up three hours?? The Romulus story doesn’t take that long- surely.

My apartment might as well be a dungeon with the amount of agony I’m in... What news does Logan have? How much is he judging me?

How much weakness does he perceive me to have?

The phone buzzes again, prompting me to turn it over.

‘I left food on the counter’.

Johnny. He felt me move…. I’ve only recently woken up for the day. Well- completely up anyway. I was awake when he left- but I drifted back off soon after.

‘I know.’ That’s all I’m going to say on the subject.

He waits a second. ‘eat it.’

This makes me waiver in my resolve for a second. It is an order… but it’s not a verbal one.

‘do it.’ Second text on the matter. ‘it’s just a little bit’.

It doesn’t smell like a ‘little’ bit. It smells like greasy, over-processed, salt laden sludge.

‘it’s an order, Daken.’

He’s used my name. Not a nickname… not a pet name. My name. He’s ‘putting his foot down’.

I contemplate throwing the food into the trash… but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it.

He’s not giving me a chance to respond- either. He knows I’ve seen his messages- and he knows I’m weighing in on the subject.

I will give Romulus one thing over Johnny- he didn’t push the more physical aspects of the bond. He never used it to check in on me fifty times during the day.

Granted- he was actually in my head. He didn’t need the bond.

Not of his own accord of course. He always had a telepath or two on hand.   Nasty creatures.  
   
I asked again and again as a child why he needed them. What he planned on doing with them.

He put a hand on my face and laughed in response.

I never knew the true extent of his powers.

I never knew the true extent of their powers. Or even, for that matter, their names. Formal or codenames. One was Russian the other….. I think may have been Canadian.

He often spoke of using members of the “Hudson” family to meet his own purposes.  
 I only recently discovered that he was talking about my family. My family on my father’s side.  
   
People who were alive when I was young. People who could have helped.  
 People who could have helped but did nothing. Like my father.

Hating Logan comes so easily. I know part of it is conditioning.   But the other part… that’s all me. I am angry with him. I am angry with his students. I am angry with his school.

Why should these children deserve his attention and his affections when his own child- his own flesh and blood- suffered in years of torment and agony?  
 Where was he when I was crying out for someone?  
 Who was there to hold me?  
   
No one.

A hot flash of a whip. A sharp snap of a broken bone. The stale scent of burnt flesh.

Don’t cry. Don’t whimper. Sit up. Stand tall. Take what you are given. You are not human. You are above pain. You are above emotion.

You are.. mine.

But I’m not.  
   
I never was.

I’m piecing together that the bastard lied on several occasions, though. There’s the whole ‘we come from wolves’ bit that I’m ashamed I bought into for so long.

Logan debunked that. He said he had a reliable source.

Fuck him and his ‘sources’.  
   
Why does he get help? Romulus was something new to him. He felt the effects but he didn’t have to see it. He didn’t get the full show. If anything he got the fucking trailer. The playbill with all the actors listed.

Fuck him.

‘eat.’ The phone demands.

I know I’m hungry. I can’t remember the last time I actually sat down and ate since this whole ‘alien’ business.

Sometimes it takes Johnny physically feeding me to remind me that I need to do so.

You can’t starve with a healing factor. Not like humans do- anyway.  
   
You can be uncomfortable. You can be irritable because of it- but you don’t necessarily have to eat.

Johnny can’t seem to grasp this. Even with his newly found healing factor- he can’t fathom not eating. OR sleeping. He doesn’t know the extremes he can push himself to now.

I pray he never finds out.

In fact- I am dedicating myself to making sure his limits are never pressed.

My knight. My savior. My protector…

All the things I’ve wanted over the years.

Sitting in that compound in agony and pain… pining for the approval and praise of the very man who caused it. “I’ll make you better,” he promised. “You won’t hurt anymore.”

And all I wanted was to be held close and cared for. Not as a lover- no- as a child. As something treasured. But all I could get was a promise that the pain would fade. Always after he was done- “You will live. You will learn. You will be better. The pain will not bother you.”

He lied. It never stopped hurting…. He just made me refuse to talk about it.

A broken arm is painful no matter how many times it’s broken. The first time is just like the last. the only difference is that with the last- you grit your teeth and work through it.

Then there were other things to overcome. He had orders too. “Lay with me.” Was often one of his as well. I was young. I always knew that something was wrong about what he did to me.  
   
It doesn’t take Johnny shoving it in my face to realize it.

He tried to get me to accept that I was a victim…. But he doesn’t understand that if I did so- if I looked at it all and decided to be the victim- I’d get nothing else done.

There was fire, there was ice, there was searing, that was serrating, there was torn flesh, ripped organs, torn mind- the list is endless.

But nothing- nothing- in my life has made me feel as safe as when I was with him. He was going to rule the world. I wanted a piece of that. I wanted a place in his world. He promised me a place in his world. He promised this as he impaled me with his body. “You’ll have the world”

I wanted the world.

I wanted it to burn.  
   
I saw the lives people had- the joy and freedom that I would never experience- and I wanted it dead.

Johnny… he’s taken that out of me.

I don’t want the world to burn anymore. I don’t want to rule.

I’ll take Johnny. Just him. The rest can go by the wayside.  
   
‘your signals are going crazy.’ The phone tells me. ‘maybe try laying down for a bit?’

I can’t lie to him. As is I feel suspiciously close to tears- though I’m sure that’s anger driven. I can’t even begin to soothe my ‘signals’ into something calm and rational.

‘take some food with you.’

This is aggravating. ‘how are you possibly going to enforce that?’ I shoot back.

He texts back immediately. ‘send a pic.’

…… really. ‘a ‘pic’. Of food. In the bed.’

‘with bites taken out of it.’

‘that’s ridiculous.’ And I’m not doing that with Logan in the same room as him.

‘please- honey. Do it for me.’

‘no.’

‘come on.’

‘no.’

The vibrations of the phone become more annoying with each text. ‘it’s an order, Daken.’

I slam the phone onto the table, contemplating running it through with my claws. Two orders. He’s given two orders in the span of five minutes.

A lot like Romulus in one fashion. The rapid-fire orders.

He had me balance myself, on one hand, one time- shortly after my body started to fill out. There was a lot of muscle mass gained- it was hard. He made me hold my entire weight up with one hand. I stayed like that for five hours while he had me recite the lessons I’d learned that day. Five hours.  
   
Rapid-fire orders for information. Word for word.

“What have you learned Daken?”

Ironically- the hand that was holding me up was the hand I am now missing. A little piece of me left to rot somewhere. Fucking sinister took it with him. Fuck him.

Another male in my life who felt that violation was a good way to communicate with me.

The mountain of orders that I’ve stacked up today is alarmingly high.

At least Johnny’s physical orders are usually tied to physical needs. Like sleep. He orders me to bed often. Or eating. He’ll do that a good bit as well. IF he were to press his quest for knowledge- it would kill me.

From its new spot on the table- the phone continues to go off.

I’m not responding. He can’t… he can’t enforce this. I don’t have to listen to him. I obey verbal commands. This is text. It can’t hurt me.

Just when I think I’ve won, I feel him. Rooting through things…. Kicking up dust in my mind. I spent all morning covering up those things. Like I used to do with Romulus. It made me feel like a child again- but I did it.

Now he’s just carelessly dusting off these emotions and thoughts. He doesn’t know it- and I’ve just started suspecting it, but he could get ahold of some thoughts if he pushed.

The phone buzzes several times in succession.

I have to admit I’m curious.

I tentatively pick it up, holding down the home button and watching the screen light up. In total there are six messages.

‘don’t stop responding to me’  
‘hey’  
‘hey’  
‘I’ve stepped away from your dad’  
‘you can call me if you want’  
‘take it easy- okay? Call me if it gets worse.’

His phone will show that I’ve read his messages… and I think that’s what get’s him to stop rooting. He leaves something behind in my head on his way out. A simple thing really. Just a small touch of calm.

Something that would have disgusted me.

But it drags a small smile from me.

‘I’m not sending you a picture.’

‘then do me this- eat some and then do your best to relax. There’s a lot we’re going to have to talk about. Take care of yourself in the meantime.’

I consider telling him to fuck off… but he means well.

‘fine.’

‘I’ll be home in about twenty minutes.’

This time I put the phone down for good, walking into the kitchen and going through the bag he’s laid out.

It’s from some local place. Eggs, bacon that looks like it’s seen better days, and some kind of roll or something. Fine Honestly if he wants me to eat more- he’s got to start bringing in better food. Our tastes are completely different. And honestly with the way he eats- I’m surprised he has the figure he does.

I grab the plastic Styrofoam container that has the eggs in it and lift it up towards my face. It smells passable. Definitely not poisoned or laced with anything. Not powdered either- so points to whoever made this. It seems like it would taste better if it were hot… which it isn’t. But I don’t really want to bother with dumping it out onto a plate and reheating it.

As is I’m going to have to set it down because I didn’t think to pick up a fork and drop it in the container before I picked it up the first time.

Logic. This is new logic. One hand makes simple tasks a little harder to do.

I set the container down, grab a fork out of the bag, deposit said fork into the container and then carry the mess into the living room.

It’s not hard to stomach. It’s easy enough to take a few bites. There’s still some level of misjudgment when it comes to my depth perception, so eating can be a little…. Humiliating. Hence me not wanting to do it. Hence Johnny always pressing the issue. “It’ll come with practice.” He assures. “Practice honey.”

Practice my ass. I’ve had about a year since my ‘accident’ and I’m still missing my mouth.

It’s less embarrassing than when Johnny does the feeding- however.

He thinks he’s being ‘cute and spontaneous.’

in reality, it’s him trying really hard to be seductive while trying to conceal the fact that he’s trying to give me an order.

He calls these ‘sexy orders’.

I like it better than opposed to the alternative orders I used to receive. The ‘do as I say or get an arm broken.’ Or removed. Or forced into an open fire.

Or there were flat out beatings.

Yes, ‘sexy’ orders are better than ‘painful’ orders.

I laugh a little thinking about it…. Which I end up doing a lot when I think about Johnny. He’s so ridiculously over the top and passionate about everything he does. It’s one the reasons he’s so easy to love. If you’re one of his people- you get this wonderful person’s passion to the fullest- every single minute.

Even when he’s sleeping. He drapes his arms around me and pulls me in- in his sleep.  
   
When he wakes, it’s all sweet murmurs and gentle touches and kisses- easing me back to consciousness. Something he’s picked up on since my nightmares got worse.

The nightmares bring me to more somber note.

I know the answer to the question I asked Johnny to ask Logan.  
   
I felt it in my dreams.

My boogieman has not been defeated. Logan has lied to me…. again. He said it was handled.

I do not think it has been ‘handled’ correctly.

Furthermore, I’m certain that wherever he is- he felt the bond sever. He knows I’m not his anymore.

I can feel him in my head at night. Calling to me. Watching me.  
   
The nightmares are of me back in the compound- walking down the hallway in the center of the building- checking every room.  
   
At the end of the hallway, there’s a large door with a red light coming from underneath it.

The handle is large... but then that’s because in the dream- my hands are so small. Child sized even. He talks to me through the door. Asks why I’ve left him.  
Promises to come back for me.

He demands answers to questions. “Who are you with? Why haven’t you come to me?”

Because he tried calling before. A few months after Logan told me it was ‘handled’. When I was in LA.

The drugs helped…. In fact, I thought it was a hallucination brought on by the heat…. But it wasn’t. I know that now.

The ‘who’ is interesting to him, I think. The dreams focus less and less on me and more and more on my surroundings. Wherever he is- I don’t think he’s moving a lot. Something’s holding him immobile.

It won’t last.

…. These eggs would have tasted better warm. I uselessly stab at them for a few moments.

He can’t see who I’m with… he doesn’t have that power. And he obviously doesn’t have access to local media- Johnny’s been photographed with me several times.

Wherever he is- he’s not looking for me very hard…. Not until this bond was made.

Someone has taken one of his ‘things’. Someone has taken me. Someone is undoing his work.

I expect him every day now. Every time I come home to my apartment and I’m alone- I expect to find him there- waiting on me.

…. I really should have heated these eggs.

Poor planning on my part. Fucking shocker there.

He’ll come back. He’ll come back to ruin me.  
   
I can’t be at peace with him out there…. And I feel like he’s toying with me. Like a cat would toy with a mouse- right before eating it. Bat, bat, bat- claws inside my mind. Inside my memories. I can see his expression in my dreams. That half amused look he’d be wearing. ‘what are you doing?’ ‘what have you learned?’

The door knob jiggling sends me into a start- jumping to my feet with my claws drawn- sending the food everywhere.

I’m a second from lunging as Johnny walks in, eyes wide.

“Hello…. Dear.” he says cautiously. “You haven’t greeted me with your claws in a while.”

I exhale slowly, drawing them back in. “You scared me.”  
   
Johnny cocks an eyebrow. “I scared you.”

“Yes.” Why would that be surprising?  
   
“Can’t you hear down the hall?” He closes the door behind him.

Eh… “I wasn’t listening.” I try to defend.

Johnny nods, walking over to me and taking me into his arms. I have to force my muscles to loosen up, relaxing into his chest. He looks down my back. “You have eggs on the floor.”

That brings an unwanted chuckle from me. I don’t know why- but that’s striking me as somewhat hilarious.

“Easy.” His hands move up my back. “You….” he winces. “Please don’t take this wrong way-” he backs away from me, “But you look like shit, honey. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so pale.”

You’d be pale too if you knew what I know.

I try to offer him a faint smile. “I’ve been inside all day with the curtains drawn.”

“Curtains drawn?” Johnny chuckles. “You’re showing your age with your words again grandpa.”

“That’s not an old saying.”

He chuckles. “It’s old enough….” He looks down at me. “You want me to open them?”

“No.”

He nods, letting go and walking over to where the eggs have spilled.

“At least you ate some.” he praises, bending down to the floor and scooping some of the mess back into its container.

“As ordered.”

 I can see his back stiffen.

He lets out a sigh. “Daken-“  
   
“Unimportant.” I dismiss. “What did Logan say?”  
   
He looks at me over his shoulder. “I think you know.”

“I want you to say it.”  
   
Johnny continues to pick up eggs. “He said a lot.” he says softly. “A lot you knew. A lot he said you wouldn’t. A lot.”

“Like….”

Johnny sighs. “Sit down.” When he realizes he’s given a direct order he quickly adds, “Please.”

I take a seat, watching him continue to pick eggs up. “He wants to see you.” he says quietly.

“Logan can go fuck himself,” I growl.

“I’m not talking about Logan.” He glances up at me quickly before looking down.

My blood runs cold.

Johnny rises to his feet, walking over and taking my hands in his. “It’s a request from S.H.E.I.L.D. They think it will… make him talk.”

“S.H.E.I.L.D has him?”

Johnny nods. “His sister-“   

 “He doesn’t have a sister.” I scoff.

Johnny shakes his head. “He does. Remus.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I growl.

“She put him in prison… with Logan’s help.”

Of course. Of course, they did.  
   
Because they could just kill him- could they? They couldn’t make this easy. Logan couldn’t do this one thing. He didn’t have the balls to do this one thing.

I snarl wordlessly at his statement.

They couldn’t handle the job…. should I? Could I really stare him down and kill him? Could he make me hesitate by using every fear and doubt he’s engrained into me?

“Where’d they put him?”  
   
“The raft?”

“Oh great!” I say hysterically, “Not only do I have to go see him- but I have to do it under the entire ocean!!!”

“Baby,” he puts his hand out, motioning for me to come to him. I stay in my spot. “Baby, calm down. Going down there is completely safe. And that’s only IF you want to do it. No one is making you.”

“I bet the wonderful Commander Hill isn’t going to take a simply “I’ll pass" for an answer.” I don’t mean to snap at Johnny, I can feel him in my head, sending out all the right messages. All the right signals.

“Logan has talked to Hill…. Romulus refuses to speak to anyone until he sees you.” he pauses. “Hill is a little… anxious.”

I swallow back an unknown emotion.

“Come here.” I feel Johnny ushering me into his arms. “Come here.” he repeats.

I’m powerless to stop him. I'm on my feet in a matter of seconds, pulled into him. 

“You don’t have to do anything.” he says in my ear. “They can’t make you.”

But…. the bond.

The… fuck.

We don’t know anything about it.

He does.

IF I could just get him to tell me where the information on this is…. in the compound.

“Johnny……”   

He looks at me wisely. “I know.”

“And…”

“I know.” he repeats.

“So….”   A feeling of dread shifts through our connection. “We don’t have a choice,” I say numbly.

Johnny sighs. “If you’re bonded to me…. then you can’t bond with him. He doesn't have the means to make you.”

I nod. “Right.” Why do I feel like he would try?

“He’s locked up pretty good.” Johnny continues. “It’s a really secure facility.”

The put an entire ocean between us… and I can still feel him in my head.

“They need to move him away from telepaths,” I say quietly. I sound lost. Like a little boy. Like the little boy that he broke me of being.

“Yea?” Johnny holds me tightly. “I’ll tell Logan.”

“They won’t listen.”  
   
“I’ll tell him it came from you.”  
   
“I think he’s been talking to me,” I say quietly.

“I know you do.”

“I think he’s been trying to find out information and-“   

“Relax,” Johnny says gently. “Just relax, okay?”  
   
Relax? How can I possibly relax at this moment in time?

“Yea.. that’ll happen.” I scoff.

“Logan…. wants to talk to you as well.” He sounds like he’s trying to break this to me as softly as possible.  
   
Johnny is a good significant other. He knows that this is upsetting beyond all reasonable levels.  
   
On top of that… we’ve got this bond. He can feel just how my heart is breaking.  
   
He can feel it, and he can adjust accordingly.   Johnny’s efficient like that.

“I don’t want to talk to either of them,” I say quietly.

“I know,” he repeats. “I know baby. It’s fucked. It’s all fucked. I wish I hadn’t gone to see Logan. I wish I didn’t know what I know. I wish-“ He sits down on the couch.

“Johnny- what did he say?” I follow his lead and take a seat.

Johnny doesn’t look at me. “He said a lot.” He looks to the side   

“What do you know?” I question, leaning into him. Johnny wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close…. like he’s afraid of letting go.

“I know he hurt you. I know how he did it. I know why he did it. I know…. he…. taunted Logan with some things. Things I don’t want to be true. Things so twisted-“  
   
“Johnny-“   

“You were so young.” he says, quietly- shocked almost. “You were so little.”

“How do you know-“   

“There’s a black and white picture…. of a place. And you. A tiny you. Scared. Hurt. Tiny, tiny, tiny.”

“The black room.” I sigh. “He told you about the room. He showed you the room.”  
   
I won’t hazard a guess as to how Logan has that picture. If Romulus was taunting him- he may just as well have sent it himself.

“He told me about the other children.”

My heart freezes.

I don’t know how to proceed.  
   
I sit here with my mouth hanging open.

“You hate children.” he says softly. “You hate them because of that room.”

The black room.  
   
How to describe the black room? Other than a scene out of a horror movie.

Of course, it wasn’t necessarily ‘black.’ There was a fire pit in the center of the room. Hot coals and embers burned around the clock in a huge circle.  
 The master of the room- not the master of the compound, Romulus, but someone underneath him would not allow the embers to go out. Sometimes there was someone stretched across them. A majority of the younger children died that way. Romulus and company had a way of ‘testing’ their ‘wards’. Weeding us out. Pushing us to the edge of our powers and abilities. If you had a healing factor and it was of a certain standard- you lived. Lucky you. You come back for further ‘tests’. If you didn’t- you died. Again, lucky you. You no longer had to be tested.   Somenights, I remember it to this day, I don’t know which outcome I was hoping for. It always came back to the fire- though. Everything. The procedures. The room. The way the corpses were disposed of. It always came back to that burning circle of red. I can see it if I close my eyes.

That’s how the procedures started. You had to light the fire. It was hard to do through tears and shaking hands.

I always did it when others were involved. I was the most steady.  
   
The fire burned bright, casting shadows on the various equipment and walls of materials.  
   
Adult sized… child sized. Teenager sized.  
   
Adult’s don’t use the Black room, though.That was for young people. People who could still be frightened.

Molding. Shaping us into weapons. When making weapons, heat is almost always required. Applied in vast quantities. Put at the joints of the weapon, making it stronger.   The room made strong weapons. It made cruel weapons. It made weapons who would do most anything to not be thrown back in.

Where there’s heat- there’s smoke.  
   
The smoke went out through a vent… along with the screams.   I used to hallucinate through my pain that I could see the words rising.  
   
All of those different languages screamed into the air.

I stopped screaming. I stopped screaming and I started listening.

“The other children who went into that room.…” he says gently. “They didn’t come out.”

I shake my head. “No.” I’m surprised I can even talk at this point. “They did not.”  
   
I can’t believe Romulus would be so forward about something so… personal.

To Logan?

I know he wants to hurt him.  
 I understand that he is angry.

But…. why?

“You're shaking.” He lets me rest my head on his shoulder. “Whatever you want to do,” he says gently. “We’ll do.”  
   
I nod, unable to really process what I'm feeling.

“Whatever you don’t want to do-“ he says just as gently. “We won’t.”

“Johnny-“   

 He runs a hand up my back. “I’m with you,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t hurt you. I won’t discard you. I won’t turn my back on your wants and needs.”

I feel the weight of his promise in my mind. I feel the waves of comfort and protection racing from his end of the wire to mine. At this length, it takes barely a millisecond.

“If I go see him,” I stop. “And that’s a big ‘if’….. you can’t come.”

Johnny looks to be in thought. “Alright.” he says finally.

“He can't know who you are.” I try to explain. “He wants to know about you- I know it. He’ll see you as competition if he thinks you’re strong enough to have made this bond on your own.”

“But I didn’t make this bond on my own. It was an accident.”

“Exactly.” I look down. “I made this bond. It was a testament to the strength of my powers, not yours.”

Johnny nods. “Understood. But Romulus,”

  “Will not give me the credit.” I inform. “He never has.”

“Not even when you did this originally?”  
   
I shake my head. “No.”

“Fucker,” Johnny says in a whisper.

We’re quiet.

“So…. you’re going to go?”

I nod, looking down. “I think I have to. We’ve got three weeks… barely. We can’t go into battle without knowing how to protect ourselves.”

Johnny nods. “The alien’s were looking for him.”

“I have no doubt.”

“They thought I killed him.”

“I wish someone had.” I grouse.

“If he shows up during our ‘celebration’….”  
   
“The damage could be irreparable.” I continue to look down. “I’ll go. I’ll see what he wants.”

“And…”

“We’ll go to the compound.” This is all set firmly in my head. “We’ll go, and we’ll find our answers, whether he wants us to or not.”

Johnny nods. “And I’ll be with you.”

“And I you.”

“And we’ll figure this out.”

I nod.  
   
He kisses the side of my head. “Logan gave me a number… for when you made your decision. Do you want to call it or do you want me to?”

I look over at him, watching him carefully. He smells scared. He feels scared. He’s a wise man. Only a fool would go into this unafraid.

I can’t answer him.

He kisses me again, this time on the forehead. I wish he’d just move to my lips. “He can’t hurt you this time.” he promises. “There will be no rooms. No claws. No whips. He’s powerless.”  
   
I shake my head. “He is NEVER, never, ever, ever, powerless.” I correct. “Never think that.”

Johnny’s heartbeat kicks into overdrive.

“It’ll get you killed,” I add with a whisper.   The thought breaks me.

“Okay.” he says softly. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “I want new food,” I say, completely off topic. I want to move us away from this train of thought- only if for a few moments. A few moments is all I need to gather myself.

Johnny smiles. “We can go to that restaurant I hate.”

“Which one?” I chuckle.   

  “The fancy one that had those weird cocktails and no beer.” he says with a nod.

I look at his outfit. Jeans, t-shirt with some kind of pop culture reference- probably a video game I’ve never heard of- and torn up sneakers.

“You’re not dressed for that restaurant. You wouldn’t be allowed past the door.”

“Hmm… how about IHOP?”

I stare at him for a moment before nodding, “I guess it wouldn’t kill me.”

He grins. “Good.” He pats my ruined arm. “Go get dressed.”

I only now realize that we’ve had this entire conversation with me in my underwear.

I look down in amusement. “I guess I could do that.” I muse.

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow. “What’s that voice?”

I grin. “You could come help me get dressed,” I say innocently.

“Mmmm. I like that idea.” He nods.

“And I could help you get undressed.” I continue.

  He stands up and stretches. “I LOVE that idea.”

I have to smile. Sex is always a welcome distraction. Even if the problem looming is one as massive as this one. It’s a way to clear my head.

And right now-right now my head is in massive need of a good clearing.


End file.
